[Faster Than a Speeding Bullet plays as the warehouse doors in Well rise, revealing a crouching RED Scout with other members of Red Team.] [The Scout watches various BLU Team members stationed around center point: an Engineer industriously making defensive preparations, a smoking Spy, and a Soldier juggling rockets.] [Scout pumps his scattergun and RED runs out to attack center point.] [The Scout charges into a fierce battle on Well, quickly outpacing all his teammates He runs towards the center of the map dodging everything that BLU throws at him, then outruns and crosses a passing train as it crushes a BLU Soldier and Pyro.] [“Meet the Scout” text appears] [Scout walks in front of the Meet the Scout text, from off frame.] Scout: “Um I don’t even know where to start with you I mean, do you even know who you’re talkin’ to? [Cut to a scene of a BLU Heavy, sitting near the third Control Point in Granary about to take a bite of a Sandvich, when he is poked in the head by the Scout’s bat.] Scout: “Yo, what’s up?” [Cut back to Scout in front of text.] Scout: D-Do you have any idea, any idea who I am?” [Back to Heavy and Scout, who are in a fistfight and yelling Cuts back to Scout.] Scout: “Basically – kind of a big deal!” [Back to fight Scout is strangling Heavy with his bat.] Scout: [Flexes a muscle] “Oh man, that’s beautiful Heh!” [Cut back to fight, Heavy now has the Scout in a headlock

Cuts back to Scout.] Scout: ” Ya’ listenin’? OK Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brotha’-[pokes the camera] I hurt people.” [Cut back to fight, The Scout whacks the Heavy in the gut with his bat.] Scout: “BOINK!” Scout: [Back to Text] “I’m a force-a-nature!” [Scout hits the Heavy in the chin.] Scout: “BONK!” [Cuts back to Scout] Scout: “If you were from where I was from, you’d be f**kin’ dead!” [Cuts back to fight; Heavy is collapsed on the ground trying to reach for his Sandvich; the Scout runs up the side of a shipping container, jumps off and slams his bat into the Heavy’s head.] [Cuts back to Scout] Scout: “WOOO!” [Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays] [Scout sits on the twitching body of the Heavy eating the Heavy’s Sandvich; the point is now RED’s.] “Meet the Heavy” text appears] [The Heavy walks up to the camera and places Minigun on a cardboard box and sits down in a chair] Heavy: “I am Heavy Weapons Guy….and this [grabs minigun] is my weapon [lays both hands covetously on minigun] She weighs one hundred fifty kilograms and fires two hundred dollar, custom-tooled cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute [looks intently at viewer] It costs four hundred thousand dollars to fire this weapon…for twelve seconds.” [Heavy laughs] [Heavy checks minigun and notices something] Heavy: “Oh my god, who touched Sasha? [lays both hands on the gun and looks to the right] Alright [loudly] Who touched my gun!?” [There’s silence Heavy looks upwards, thinking] Heavy: “Some people think they can outsmart me [pauses] Maybe, [sniff] maybe [pauses, then changes to a darker tone] I’ve yet to meet one that can outsmart [shows a

bullet] bullet.” [Holds up cartridge to the camera as you hear the sound of the minigun revving up] [Heavy devastates the enemies with his minigun on Dustbowl Stage 1 Cap 1] [Team Fortress 2 theme plays] Heavy: “Waaaahhhhh! Uraaaaaaah! Ahahahahahaha! Cry some more!” [The picture fades to black] Heavy’s voice, offscreen: “Heheh, cry some more.” [Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays] wo slices of the Sandvich are in a refrigerator on a plate beside three bottles of Red Shed beer] [“Meet the Sandvich” text appears] [Cut back to the Sandviches] Heavy: [Groans repeatedly] Scout: “Yeah, there he is!” Soldier: “You! Stop right where you are, that is an order! He’s getting away! Do not let him get to the re-” [The Heavy opens the door, grabs one slice of the Sandvich and closes the door] Scout: “D-don’t do it, pal!” Soldier: “Do Not Do it!” Heavy: [Eats sandvich] “Om nom nom nom…” Soldier: “Oohhhhhhh, hell…” Scout: “H-h-hey, let’s just calm down here! You listening? J-j-just OH GOD!” [The Heavy chuckles as his loud footsteps are heard gathering speed] Scout: “OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GO-” [Several loud thuds are heard, a beer bottle falls over, and the refrigerator door opens slightly] Heavy: “Ahahahaha!” [Sound of liquid spilling on the floor, assumedly the Scouts blood] Scout: “My blood! H-he punched out all my blood!” [More thuds are heard.] Soldier: “Ow, ow ow ow ow! Ouch, ouch! Ahhh…” [A thud and a snap is heard] Soldier: “You call that breaking my spine? You RED team ladies wouldn’t know how to break a spine if-” [A loud snap is heard and the door closes and opens again, the floor now covered with blood and another one of the bottles of beer falls over] Soldier: “AUGHHH! MY SPINE!” [A girlish scream is heard as ending flourish music plays The camera pans across a diagram of the Sandvich] [Cut to the Heavy in Dustbowl, as he was in

the original Meet the Heavy, but instead of wielding his minigun he is devouring a Sandvich] Heavy: “Nom nom nom [Takes a bite] nom nom… mmmm.. nom.” [“Meet the Engineer” text appears] [Cut to the Engineer sitting on his toolbox and playing Wilco’s ‘Someone Else’s Song’ on his guitar] Enginner: “Hey look buddy, I’m an Engineer That means I solve problems.” [A bullet is shot behind the engineer.] Engineer: “Not problems like ‘what is beauty?’ Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy.” [2 more bullets go past his head.] Engineer: “I solve practical problems.” [Engineer now stops, sips his beer, while his level 1 sentry kills a BLU Heavy.] [He sets down his beer and continues to strum.] Engineer: “For instance, how am I gonna stop some big mean motherhubbard from tearin’ me a structurally superfluous new behind? [Sentry kills a BLU Spy, and the meter goes up to 211.] Engineer: “The answer?” [Lvl. 2 Sentry kills a BLU Scout] “Use a gun.” Engineer: “And if that don’ work,” [Lvl 3 Sentry fires rockets at an offscreen target.] Engineer: “Use MORE gun” [The rockets hit what sounds like a BLU scout screaming, “MY ARM!!!”] [Engineer resumes playing, and his lvl. 1 sentry targets the arm, which appears to be a BLU Sniper’s arm.] Engineer: “Like this heavy caliber tripod-mounted little ol’ number designed by me…” [Enginner kicks the hand into the air, and the lvl. 1 sentry shoots it in midair] Engineer: “…Built by me…” [The same sentry shoots another off-screen target] Engineer: “And you best hope…not pointed at YOU.” [The ending lines of More Gun play as all of the Sentries start shooting the surrounding BLU team members.] [The Team Fortress 2 ending music plays.] “Meet the Demoman” text appears”] Meet the Demoman Storyboard Concept Sketches [Opening fanfare of “Drunken Pipe Bomb” plays as the demoman narrowly escapes a massive explosion while jumping from a drop-down corridor in Gravelpit] [Freeze frame] Demoman: “What makes me a good demoman?” [Cut to Demoman, sitting in a room full of explosives] Demoman: “If I were a bad demoman, I wouldn’t be sittin’ here, discussin’ it with you now would I?” [“Drunken Pipe Bomb” resumes playing] [Demoman charges into battle along with Team RED while dodging a cascade of rockets] Demoman: “Let’s do it!” Demoman: “Not one of ya’s gonna’ survive this.” [Cut back to the Demoman’s room, music pauses.] Demoman: “One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch…and kablooie!” [Cut back to battle, music resumes.] [The Demoman bounces a grenade off a wall and Gibs a pursuing Pyro] [Cut to scene of the Demoman chugging from his bottle of scrumpy]

[A level 2 Sentry gun upgrades to level 3] [Cut to scene of the Demoman continuing to chug from his bottle of scrumpy] [Sentry gun fires rockets at the Demoman] [Cut to a close up of the Demoman’s face, still chugging from his bottle of scrumpy] [The Demoman dodges the rockets as a nearby Scout is gunned down by the Sentry The Demoman then fires two grenades, destroying the Sentry gun] [Cut back to Demoman’s room, music stops.] [The Demoman slams the now empty bottle down on the table, breathing heavily] [Camera blurs] Demoman: “I got a manky eye I’m a black, Scottish cyclops They’ve got more [censored] …than they’ve got the likes of me.” [The Demoman starts to drink from the empty bottle, then notices the camera and becomes lucid again] Demoman: “So….” [The ending segment of “Drunken Pipe Bomb” starts to play] Demoman: “….T’all you fine dandies so proud, so cock-sure.” [The Demoman runs out to the final capture point in Gravelpit and is shocked to see a group of BLU team members charging towards him with smug expressions on their faces A devious look comes over the Demoman’s face and he runs with BLU in hot pursuit] Demoman: “Prancin’ aboot with your heads full of eyeballs! Come and get me I say! [The Demoman covers a door frame in sticky bombs] I’ll be waiting on ya with a whiff of the ‘ol brimstone I’m a grim bloody fable….with an unhappy bloody end!” [The Heavy notices the sticky bombs around the door frame, and his expression changes from smugness to one of shock The Demoman throws a mock salute and activates the sticky bombs, gibbing all his pursuers] [The Demoman walks up to (presumably) a decapitated head, laughing merrily as body parts and blood rain down around him.] Demoman: “Oh, they’re going to have to glue you back together….in hell!” [Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, accompanied by bagpipes] A lone RV is driving down a desert road Camera cuts to the dashboard, where a bobblehead of the former Civilian sits A hand comes from offscreen and flicks the head.] Sniper: “Boom, headshot.” [Meet the Sniper text appears Cuts to the Sniper driving his RV as Valve’s edited version of Magnum Force plays in the background.] Sniper: “Snipin’s a good job, mate! It’s challengin’ work, outta doors I guarantee you’ll not go hungry-” [Cuts to a shot of the Sniper brushing his teeth There are three photographs on the right of his mirror of a BLU Engineer, Heavy, and Scout – the Engineer and the Scout are crossed off, but the Heavy is not.] Sniper “-’cause at the end of the day, long as there’s two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead.” [Scene cuts to view inside the Sniper’s scope The Sniper headshots the Heavy from the previous scene; the bullet shatters the Bottle of the Demoman behind him, causing the top half of the Bottle to embed itself in his remaining eye The Demoman flails around, takes out his Grenade Launcher, fires grenades wildly in the air and falls over a ledge, with his stray grenades igniting a cluster of explosive barrels below and causing a chain explosion.] Sniper: “Ooh.” [Cuts to the Sniper talking on a pay phone.] Sniper: “Dad? Dad, I’m a- Ye- Not a “crazed gunman”, dad, I’m an assassin! Well, the difference bein’ one is a job and the other’s a mental sickness!” [Back to Sniper in the RV.] Sniper: “I’ll be honest with ya: my parents do not care for it.” [Cuts to Sniper climbing the tall tower in Gold Rush Stage 3, Cap 1 The Sniper now is waiting at the top of the tower for a shot.] Sniper: [Glances away from his scope briefly to address the viewer] “I think his mate saw me.” [A bullet ricochets off the ledge under the Sniper.] Sniper: “Yes, yes he did!” [The Sniper takes cover as return fire ricochets off the tower.] [Cuts to a time-lapse image of the Sniper waiting for a shot Several jars of urine fill up to his side, as the Sniper drinks coffee and waits As the sun starts to set, the Sniper smiles and finally takes his shot.] [The Sniper backstabs a Spy through the chest with his Kukri on Gold Rush Stage 3, then slides him off the Knife with a satisfied expression.] Sniper: “Feelins’? Look mate, you know who has a lot of feelings?” [Cut back to the RV] Sniper: “Blokes that bludgeon their wife to death with a golf trophy Professionals have standards.” [Sniper takes off his hat and puts it on his chest, standing over the dead Spy.] Sniper: “Be polite.” [Sniper headshots a Medic, a Soldier, and a Pyro.] Sniper: “Be efficient.” [Slow-motion shot of the Sniper reloading his rifle.] Sniper: “Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.” [The Sniper fires directly at the camera The screen blacks out.] [Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays.] [Cut back to the pay phone.] Sniper: “Dad Dad p-, yeah – put Mum on the phone!” The word “Soldier” below refers to the protagonist, a RED Soldier [Cut to a BLU Pyro firing a blast of flame from its Flamethrower The Pyro thrusts its weapon in the air and laughs triumphantly as a rocket heads towards it from off screen] Pyro: [Rocket hits Pyro, who is gibbed.] “Owh!” [Cut to BLU Demoman taking a drink, also getting blown up by a rocket from off screen.] [Cut to BLU Heavy performing the Showdown taunt.] Heavy: “Pow!” [Is hit by a crit rocket, explodes] [“Meet the Soldier” title card appears.] [Cut to the Soldier, drilling what appears to be a line of recruits.] Soldier: “‘If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!’ Sun Tzu said that, and I’d say he knows a little more [Soldier pokes a recruits’ helmet] about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor.” [The Art of War plays] [Cut to the Soldier holding his Shovel and screaming.] [The Soldier then charges the final capture point in Granary with his Shotgun and kills a Demoman, who fires at him but misses He switches to his Rocket Launcher and a BLU Medic appears behind him, firing syringes.] RED Demoman: “To the left!” Soldier: “Maggots!” [The Soldier turns to the left and fires a Crit rocket at the Medic, gibbing him.] RED Sniper: “Right up! Right up!” RED Heavy: “Go, go, go!” [The Soldier, Sniper and Heavy charge into battle together, as explosions occur all around them.] [Cut back to the Soldier’s drill Music pauses.] Soldier: “Then, he used his fight money [The Soldier unhooks two grenades from his belt, one in each hand.] Soldier: …to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat [The Soldier demonstrates by using the grenades, moving them in a walking motion.] Soldier: …and then he beat the crap out of every single one.” [The Soldier bangs the two grenades together repeatedly.] [Cut back to battle scene Music resumes.] RED Scout: (Behind cover) “Sentry up there!” [The Soldier runs up to the Sentry gun and rocket jumps onto a pipe, both destroying the Sentry and killing the Engineer in the process.] [A BLU Heavy and Pyro are holding the final capture point The Heavy is laughing gleefully The Soldier jumps downward, firing a Critical rocket that lands just before he does The explosion kills both the Heavy and Pyro A Spy uncloaks and attempts to backstab the Soldier, but the Soldier pulls out his Shovel, swiftly knocking out the Spy with it.] [Freeze frame] [Cut back to the Soldier’s drill] Soldier: [Laughs to himself] “And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it’s called a ‘zoo’!” [Crickets chirp as the ‘recruits’ are revealed to be the gibbed heads of BLU team members perched on a gate, all wearing BLU Soldier helmets The Medic’s head falls off the gate.] [Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays.] Soldier: [To the Medic’s head] “Unless it’s a farm!” [Intro Card appears and is subsequently burned away revealing the RED Pyro’s boots as he walks through a scorched wasteland] [Cut to interview of the RED Heavy in the dark] Heavy: “I fear no man…” [Leans forward] Heavy: “…but that thing…” [Worriedly looks out behind him] Heavy: “…it scares me.” [Cut to shot of the RED Pyro walking through dark town The RED Scout desperately tries to hide in one of the wooden buildings but a panicked BLU Engineer closes it tight, locking him out Scout: “No, I ain’t…” [Cut to interview of the RED Scout] Scout: “…I ain’t talkin’ about that freak, all right?” [Struggles to take off lapel mic] Scout: “He’s not here is he?” [Continues to struggle with the mic and stands up] Scout: “How do I get this frickin’ thing off?!?” [Steps forward and runs into the camera] [Cut to RED Pyro kicking in the door of a building the BLU Demoman has taken shelter in and entering the room, Flamethrower first] [Cut to interview with RED Spy holding a burning cigarette] Spy: “One shutters to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind that mask” [Cut to shot of the RED Pyro igniting his Flamethrower and raising it over the burning town] Spy: “What dreams of chronic and sustained cruelty?” [Zooms in on the RED Pyro’s mask and into his vision] [Shot of the RED Pyro’s sight shows a shot of him holding the Rainblower and spraying

rainbows over a colorful, flower-filled landscape while “Do You Believe In Magic?” by The Lovin’ Spoonful plays A cute fat cat falls over the shot transitioning to a shot of a BLU Heavy as a little flying baby poking his heavy above a colorful giant Sandvich.] [The BLU baby Heavy flies out from behind the Sandvich and lands on the road, smiling] [The RED Pyro, still in dreamland, picks a lollipop from the ground, twirls it in the air and then catches it and raises it above his head and yelling out inaudible exclamations] [The excited BLU baby Heavy stands up and darts forward happily towards the RED Pyro tripping once yet continuing on] [Next is a shot of the RED Pyro joyfully skipping to the BLU baby Heavy, when they finally meet, the RED Pyro spins in the air, bringing the lollipop around towards the BLU baby Heavy] [Cut to the scene of the burning town and the RED Pyro lodging a Fire Axe into the BLU Heavy’s skull] [Back in dreamland, the Fire Axe is only the lollipop in the BLU Pyro’s vision and has only been inserted into the BLU baby {Heavy]]’s mouth] [Turning around, the RED Pyro sees a fat BLU baby Scout flying across the land towards him and lands on his Rainblower and smiles at him] [The RED Pyro pulls out a bubble wand and blows some bubbles in the BLU baby Scout’s face] [Cut to the scene of the burning town where the RED Pyro is in fact shooting a Scorch Shot into the BLU Scout’s face] [Back in dreamland, the BLU baby Scout and BLU baby Heavy chest bump, the RED Pyro turns around to see a BLU baby Medic wave at them from inside a blue gift box and then jumping inside to hide, the RED Pyro runs over and closes the ajar lid to the box] [In the burning town, the RED Pyro is locking a barn door with his Fire Axe, the BLU Medic, who is hiding in the barn tries to open the door but it remains locked] Medic: No! [The RED Pyro ignites his Flamethrower and sets the whole barn alight, with the BLU Medic trapped inside] [In dreamland, the RED Pyro is skipping through the candy-filled colorful town with the BLU baby Heavy and Scout in tow They come across a BLU baby Engineer and Spy follow the convoy down the street on a pink, flying unicorn] [A BLU baby Soldier and Sniper come into view and wave (or salute) the RED Pyro off with the rest of the BLU baby team as he continues to skip down the street The BLU baby Demoman pokes his head out in front, waving the RED Pyro off as well, an explosion behind them interrupts the scene and transitions the shot back to the burning town] [In the burning town, the BLU Demoman is on the ground reaching out for help as the BLU Soldier gets killed in the background] [Meanwhile, the BLU Scout runs past a burning building screaming and the BLU Sniper falls out of it from a second story window falling flat on the ground He crawls forward, in pain and grabs the RED Pyro’s leg] Sniper: Help! [The RED Pyro lowers his Flamethrower and pulls the trigger, cocking his head to the side as the BLU Sniper burns up in a fit of screams] [Ending title card appears and accompanying music plays] [Cut to shot of the RED Pyro skipping away, the view pans backwards to reveal a hole in the BLU Soldier’s abdomen in which you can see the dreamland through it but al around is the burning town The BLU Soldier falls forward, his helmet flying off and rolling through the carnage made by the RED Pyro who continues to dance of the screen.] [Fade to black] [Nature sounds and birds chirping.] [A loud explosion disrupts the tranquillity as a RED Demoman in a wheel chair and arm cast and a RED Scout in bandages jump over a pile of rocks, fleeing from the explosion A slowed down version of ‘Faster than a Speeding Bullet’ plays in the background.] Scout: [To Demoman] “Move it, Cyclops! Move!” [They continue fleeing as the Demoman works furiously to keep his wheel chair moving, a rocket approches from behind.] Scout: “Come on, Come on! Almost–” [The rocket hits the Scout, causing him to fly off his feet and into a rock The Scout tries to get up but collapses from the pain.] [A trio of rockets whistle toward the scout The Scout turns to look at them.] Scout: “Woah! WhotheFu–” [Camera cuts to a long shot of the Scout as the explosion propels the Scout into the air, sending debris everywhere The Scout flies toward the camera.] Scout: “Ahhhhhhh!” [The Scout hits a window face first, shattering it and knocking a tooth from his mouth The music stops.] Scout: [Quietly, almost whimpering] “Medic…” [While the Scout speaks, a Dove pops its head up from bottom right screen and coos.] [The Medic title card appears, and TF2 introductory theme plays] [The camera cuts back to the Scout, from further inside the building He slowly slides down the glass and eventually falls The sound of the a Medic and the Heavy laughing can be heard off screen The camera zooms out from the window and slowly pans downward to where the RED Medic is operating on the RED Heavy The Medic is standing and leaning over the Heavy while the Heavy is lying on an operating table Various medical equipment can be seen around the room, most notable of which is the ‘Quick Fix’ (A Medigun) hanging from the ceiling, above the Heavy, like in the James Bond movie, Goldfinger The Heavy’s chest cavity is wide open (revealing the rib cage, lungs and other guts) and the Heavy is also fully conscious He does not seem the slightest bit disoriented that his own Heart is outside his body and in the hands of the Medic.] [Heavy Laughing] Medic: “Wait, wait, wait – It gets better! When the patient woke up, his skeleton was missing, and the doctor was never heard from again!” [Medic laughs hysterically, Heavy thinks for a moment then laughs loudly.] Medic: “Ah, anyway, that’s how I lost by medical license Heh.” [Heavy looks a bit surprised and frightened Suddenly, one of Heavy’s guts squishes and a dove rises and coos.] Medic: “Archimedes, No!” [Medic rises his hand, the dove(Archimedes) flies away, mostly covered in blood] Medic: “It’s filthy in there! Ugh!” [Looks at Heavy] Medic: “Birds!” [The Medic laughs, than takes a strange device from the table near the Heavy The device has three spikes connected to a gauge which has ‘UBER’ written on it.] Medic: “Now, most hearts couldn’t withstand this voltage-” [The Medic stabs the device into the Heavy’s heart] Medic: “-But I’m fairly certain your heart…” [The Medic pulls medigun close and places the heart in the beam The heart explodes almost immediately, leaving a scrap of heart on the device Another piece strikes Archimedes, still covered with blood and sitting between 2 more doves Some glass breaks in the background.] Heavy: “What was noise?” [The Medic releases the medigun and moves his hand so the Heavy can’t see his exploded heart] Medic: “The sound of progress, my friend!” [The Medic knocks the piece of heart off the device, and opens the refrigerator Inside the refrigerator, there is a bottle of Demoman’s whiskey, some beer and the sandvich There are also three hearts, two of which are labelled, one as “Loch Ness Hamster” and the other as “Mega Baboon” The Medic takes the heart marked “Mega Baboon” As he removes the heart, he shows what appears to be a BLU Spy’s severed head, plugged into a battery and still living, breathing and smoking] Spy’s Head: “Kill me.” Medic: [Whipering] “Later.” [The Medic closes the refrigerator] Medic: “Where was I?” [The Medic looks at a heart] Medic: “Ah, there we go!” [The Medic stabs the device into the new heart and places it in front of the medigun’s beam The heart begins beating.] Medic: [quietly, almost to himself] “Come on, come on…” [As the heart beats faster, it begins to glow, and the rest of the room appears darker The Medic laughs maniacally, the Heavy laughs nervously and edges away from the Medic slightly The Medic closes his eyes and faces away from the heart When the Uber-Meter on the heart maxes out, the room returns to its normal colour and the medic opens his eyes He then looks at the ubered heart in his hands] Medic: “Oh, that looks good.” [The Medic drops the heart casually into Heavy’s chest cavity.] Medic: “Very nice there.” Heavy: [Incredulously] “Should I be awake for this?” Medic: “Aha… well, no, But as long as you are, could you hold your rib cage open a bit?” [The Medic attempts to shove the heart up into the Heavy’s body.] Medic: [with difficulty] “I can’t seem…” [The Medic rams the heart into the Heavy’s body A squishing and snapping noise is heard] Heavy: [screaming] “Arggghh!” [The Heavy holds up a snapped rib and they both stare at it in horror The Medic quickly regains his composure and grabs the snapped rib from the Heavy’s hand Medic pinches the Heavy’s cheek.] Medic: “Oh, don’t be such a baby, ribs grow back.” [The Medic throws the rib over his shoulder and turns towards Archimedes and the Quick Fix] Medic: [Whispers to Archimedes] “No they don’t.” [The Medic grabs the Quick Fix and maneuvers it directly over the Heavy’s open ribcage The device causes the Heavy’s exposed ribcage and torn vest to regenerate quickly The Heavy inhales takes a deep breath and pats the repaired flesh, which briefly glows.] Heavy: “What happens now?” [The Medic helps Heavy up from the operating table.]’ Medic: “Now?” [The Medic laughs the camera cuts to a close up of his face.] Medic: [menacingly] “Let’s go practice medicine.” [Several shots are shown of the Medic preparing himself for battle A door with a torn poster of a red cross is shown before the door opens and the Medic walks out to a fanfare and a choir His pet doves fly out and the Heavy quickly runs past him.]’ [A battle scene is shown outside the hospital with BLU Soldiers raining rockets down upon RED team, who are hiding in cover as more BLU Soldiers approach the base The Demoman from earlier is seen rolling down the hill toward the Medic.] Demoman: “Medic!” [The Demoman is blown straight out of his wheelchair by a trio of rockets as the Medic looks on He lands several feet in front of the Medic The Medic grins, adjusts his glasses and flips a trigger on his medigun He quickly heals the Demoman, who tears away his bandages, picks up his Sticky Launcher, nods at the Medic and rejoins the battle.] [The Medic spots the Scout out of the corner to his eye and turns to heal him He heals the Scout quickly, replacing one of his teeth and fixing a black eye The Scout excitedly launches himself and his bat into the air.] Scout: “Yeah!” [The Scout runs past the Heavy and knocks out a BLU Soldier almost effortlessly] Scout: “Oh yeah!” [At least a dozen BLU Soldiers are seen running toward the RED team.] Heavy: “Doctor! Are you sure this will work!?” Medic: [maniacally] “Ha ha, I have no idea!” [The Medic quickly flips a switch on his medigun which maxes out a gauge A red light comes on which reads ‘Ubercharge Ready’ The medigun charges quickly and crackles with energy The Medic aims the beam at the Heavy and charges him The Heavy smiles confidently and jumps out of cover The camera zooms into his chest to show his new heart as he becomes ubercharged The Heavy’s eyes turn bright yellow and his skin starts glowing A rocket strikes the Heavy and he walks through the smoke, unharmed The Engineer and Sniper look on in amazement as the Heavy and Medic walk past.] Heavy: “Ha ha ha! I am bulletproof!” [The Heavy fires his minigun in the crowd of BLU Soldiers, killing every single one The corpses soon become a huge mound, which the pair climb slowly The pair stand at the top of the mound, the Heavy firing at targets off screen The Medic is silhouetted by the sun and doves fly through the air] [Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays] [The RED team is seen waiting outside the operating room as the Medic performs a surgery on the Scout A sign on the wall shows that the Medic is serving ticket number 1 The Engineer is playing his guitar, the Spy is looking at several pictures before checking the time, the Pyro is reading a magazine and flicking a cigarette lighter, the Soldier is standing at attention, the Demoman is drinking from his Scrumpy bottle, and the Sniper is taking a nap with his hat covering his eyes The Medic and Scout can be heard from outside.] Medic: “That looks good Very nice there.” Scout: “Hey, thanks Doc.” [The sign changes to ticket number 2 as the Scout bursts from the operating room He startles the waiting patients and he his chest is glowing, similar to the Heavy’s.] Scout: “Ahaha, man You would not believe…how much this hurts!” [The Scout’s chest moves and expands, and dove coos are heard while the Scout looks in shock.] Medic: “Archimedes?!” [Shot opens on ringing alarm bell; sirens and klaxons play in the background] The Administrator: “Intruder Alert! A RED Spy is in the base!” [Signs illuminate on a large security panel: “Intruder Alert’, ‘RED Spy’ and ‘In Base’; pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board] Soldier: “A RED Spy is in the base!?” [Intruder Alert begins to play The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying “Hut, Hut, Hut!” with every step he takes] The Administrator: “Protect the briefcase!” Soldier: “We need to protect the briefcase!” [Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked ‘Briefcase Room’ door] Scout: “Yo, a lil’ help here!?” [The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to ‘decode’ the combination] Soldier: “All right, all right, I got it Stand back son 1, 1, 1, umm 1!” Scout: Let’s go, let’s go- [BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier] Heavy: “INCOMING!” [Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room] Heavy: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- [screaming]” [The Scout reaches the desk to discover the briefcase is perfectly safe] Scout: [while screaming, he notices the briefcase] “AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it’s still here!” Heavy: “-AAAAalright then.” Spy: “Ahem.” [Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper’s corpse over one shoulder] Spy: “Gentlemen.” [Meet the Spy’ Title Card] [Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk] Spy: “I see the briefcase is safe.” Soldier: “Safe and sound, mm-hmm.” Scout: “Yeah, it is!” Spy: “Tell me… did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?” [The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug] Spy: No? Then we still have a problem [He deposits the Sniper’s body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back] Soldier: “…and a knife.” [The Scout approaches and removes the knife] Scout: “Oooh, big problem I’ve killed plenty of Spies; they’re dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags – like you!” [The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it] Scout: “Ow! No offense.” Spy: “If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me.” [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout] “And nothing… nothing like the man loose inside this building.” Scout: “What’re you? President of his fan club?” [The Soldier and Heavy chuckle while the Spy turns to face the Scout] Spy: “No… that would be your mother!” [The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout’s mother while Right Behind You plays] Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief] Spy: Indeed, and now he’s here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today.”

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular] Soldier: Oh! [The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground] Scout: “Gimme that!” Spy: “This Spy has already breached our defenses…” [Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer He slides a Sapper across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately] Engineer: “Sentry Down!” [The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen] [Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.] Spy: “You’ve seen what he’s done to our colleagues!” [Fade to the BLU Sniper, still alive and sniping from a dusty attic The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper, who engages the Spy with the Kukri A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately backstabbed] [Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room] Spy: “And worst of all, he could be any one of us…” [Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw] Medic: “Raus, raus!” [The Spy breaks the Medic’s arm, disarming him Close-up on the Spy’s face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles] Medic: [gasps] “Nein…” [The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise] [Cut back to BLU Intel Room The BLU Spy looks frantic] Spy: “He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-” [The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy and a panicked Scout] Scout: “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Heavy: “Oh!” Soldier: “What? It was obvious!” [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] “He’s the RED Spy! Watch, he’ll turn red any second now…” [The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy’s foot with his Shotgun] Soldier: “Any second now See? Red! Oh, wait… that’s blood.” Heavy: “So, we still got problem…” Soldier: “Big problem [The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily] Soldier: All right, who’s ready to go find this Spy?” [As the Scout approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy] Spy: “Right behind you.” [Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.] [Petite Chou-Fleur plays] [Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout’s mother The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully] Spy: “Ahh… ma petite chou-fleur.” [The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team’s intel in tow]