MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight’s episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons TRAVIS: We play Dungeons & Dragons! LAURA: Thank you, Liam MATT: Wow So— MARISHA: There are so many puns MATT: Oh yeah We’ve returned from our Gen Con live show last week, which went amazingly and since we are back in our home front here at the table, let’s go ahead and jump into some announcements before the show, beginning with our fantastic sponsor, our friends in Campaign 2 since the beginning, D&D Beyond TRAVIS: D&D Beyond! SAM: D&D Beyond, they wanted me to let you guys know that a few of our cast members participated in a series called “Fandom Uncovered,” which explores a variety of amazing and intense fandoms, like this one The most recent episode is about D&D, and you can find it at fandom.link/dnd Now, you guys might’ve caught the end of the D&D Beyond presidential campaign last week, where Liam and myself were elected co-presidents of D&D Beyond TRAVIS: Oh! SAM: And we have held that title– well, we held that title Something happened and maybe we should tell you guys what happened or maybe it’s just better to just show them what happened MARISHA: Oh yeah LAURA: I thought this was done SAM: It is done. It is done, but we have to show the people how it really ended LIAM: Turn back the clock SAM: So this video will start right after last week’s show stopped Roll it BRIAN: I’m being told that the election results are in [cheering] The winner– stop celebrating early The winner, everyone in the world, is Mr. Liam O’Brien! [cheering] LIAM: Critters [cheering] You are the wind beneath my dead wings I could not be here today without my goblin, Sam, my beautiful husband, I would like to propose a partnership From here on out, we will president as one Will you make me the happiest president of D&D Beyond on Earth? [cheering] [cheering] SAM: Liam, I’ve never lost anything in my life, and by accepting this, I keep that streak going [cheering] Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! I will be your co-president! SAM: Woo, we did it! Wow! Wow! What a great show! What a great ending to the show! TRAVIS: Hey, congrats guys! SAM: Get out of the way LIAM: Out of the way, wiener dog SAM: Ow, yes! Yes, what a show! What a finish to the show! You won, but then I won, too, and we won together! We’re co-presidents of D&D Beyond, yes! Thank you Thank you for bringing me along for the ride, man LIAM: We are stronger together SAM: Yeah, we are LIAM: D&D Beyond isn’t going to know what them SAM: No, no What do we do first? What do we do? LIAM: Oh, bubby We celebrate (electronic dance music) SAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! I love money! (electronic dance music) (birds chirping)
(laughing and whooping) SAM: I did not think you could fit that your nose, but you did! Whoa! LIAM: You doubt me, Sam Riegel? SAM: Wow Wow, I mean, that’s a tough– LIAM: Ah! Our day has come ADAM: You idiots SAM: Hey, Adam– ADAM: What are you doing? LIAM: We are the presidents of D&D Beyond SAM: Yeah, dos presidentes ADAM: Presidents of the party planning committee We’ve been through this so many times But you’re not anymore because you’re both fired SAM: Fired? LIAM: We have so much work to do! SAM: Yeah! ADAM: Considering that you just blew the entire year’s party planning budget, no, you don’t have anything else to do It’s over I’m going to need you to pay the overages on this bill, especially this 1984 Chianti I am so disappointed in you (melancholy music) LIAM: Holy crap SAM: What? Let me see the Ooh Hold on, I can’t LIAM: You like wine too much SAM: Wow, that’s a lot Oh, man He seemed really sad or mad or I can’t tell LIAM: We had it all, Sam SAM: We had it But then we blew it Here, you take this You got more votes, so you should pay for it LIAM: That’s fair Come here Come here SAM: Can we still be the presidents of I don’t know, each other? LIAM: You’ll always be my number one, Mr. President SAM: That means a lot, man That means a lot (melancholy music) SAM: And that’s the end of our presidential reign, unfortunately. We were presidents for about 90 minutes LIAM: We flew too close to the sun TRAVIS: I feel like leaving on Sunday early or Saturday was a mistake LAURA: Yeah TRAVIS: We missed out MARISHA: No, you made the right call SAM: Thank you again to D&D Beyond for allowing us to go on this journey and we learned a lot and we’ll never make those mistakes again LAURA: You’ll never be allowed to SAM: That’s true. That is absolutely true MATT: Legally (laughter) MATT: We have it in writing (laughter) MATT: Thank you Sam, and thank you, D&D Beyond, a fantastic resource for D&D players and Dungeon Masters out there that allows you to create characters and run campaigns with a new encounter builder that they’ve been having in Alpha that’s awesome Check it out SAM: That whole fucking campaign (laughter) TRAVIS: Didn’t fucking shave LAURA: You guys TALIESIN: Oh, god SAM: What? It was– LAURA: Worth it! LIAM: It was worth it SAM: That party was off the hook! (laughter) MARISHA: It was really awesome TRAVIS: Erika Ishii and the one-arm pushups MARISHA: Yeah! MATT: She doesn’t fuck around TRAVIS: Shit MATT: Thank you, D&D Beyond All right, so once again, thank you, everyone, for coming to the live show, watching our live show, and if you haven’t already seen it yet, you’re going to be really confused about tonight’s episode and you should watch it We did announce that we’re headed to Austin– LAURA: Yay! MATT: –on Saturday, November 23 for a very special live show one-shot, The Adventures of the Darrington Brigade Where we get to follow Taryon Darrington and the Brigade after the adventures of Vox Machina It’s going to have the rest of the cast playing members of the Brigade VIP tickets will be on sale Monday, August 12, at 9:00 AM Pacific, 11:00 AM Central, and general admission tickets will be on sale Tuesday, August 13, at 9:00 AM– I got a bubble in my throat Don’t give me that face, Laura Bailey It happens We are imperfect creatures! (laughter) MATT: Tuesday, August 13, at 11:00 AM Pacific– 9:00 AM Pacific, 11:00 AM Central Check out critrole.com/events for details And, for those who haven’t seen it, the Season 3 premiere of Between the Sheets featuring Amanda Fucking Palmer is now available on our YouTube channel It’s a great talk MARISHA: And she just had a music video drop today MATT: Yeah, yeah, “Drowning in the Sound.” Check it out if you have the chance I believe that’s all the announcements, so without further ado, let’s go ahead and dive in to tonight’s episode of Critical Role (funny noises) (water bubbling) (thunder rumbling) (explosion) ♪ Role, Critical, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Critical, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Critical, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Critical, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Critical, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Critical ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪
♪ The adventure begins ♪ ♪ They were always beside you ♪ ♪ Your nerdy best friends ♪ ♪ And the DM to guide you ♪ ♪ And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead ♪ ♪ Villains beware ’cause you’re ’bout to be dead ♪ (dramatic music) ♪ They got magic and flair ♪ ♪ They got falchions and cunning ♪ ♪ They don’t see over there ♪ ♪ There’s a monster incoming ♪ ♪ Inspiration is waiting, rise up, don’t think twice ♪ ♪ Put your fate in your hands, take a chance, ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ Role, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Critical, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Critical, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Critical ♪ ♪ Can you answer the call? ♪ ♪ Dig in deep in your soul ♪ ♪ As the legend unfolds ♪ ♪ Now it’s your turn, your turn, your turn ♪ ♪ To roll ♪ (fire igniting) (dragon roaring) MATT: And welcome back LAURA: (laughs) You guys are getting lazy. (laughs) So last we left off, The Mighty Nein had found their way to the northern realm of the Greying Wildlands in search of answers regarding Caduceus’ visions he’s been granted multiple times through the Wildmother and the pursuit of fixing the broken halves of this blade of which you have discovered has some ancient power attached to its historical lineage You made your way across the mountains of the Flotket Alps into the subterranean dwarven-elven city of Uthodurn where you acquired a room to stay and then made your way to the forge of the one individual responsible for previously reinforcing this blade, a very talented blacksmith Legendary, if you will However, upon arriving there, discovered that he had passed away four years previous and instead were met with his son, who was an apprentice of his and is hoping to eventually climb to that level of notoriety and skill A brief discussion between him and you unveiled that this weapon requires a certain material to be recreated called iceflex, which is a form of mithral that has to be enchanted, essentially, by the breath of a white dragon Not knowing where one might be found, you stepped out into the alley on the side of the smithy to where a hooded, cloaked figure approached you from the shadows, and that’s where we’re going to go ahead and pick up TRAVIS: Jesus MATT: As you all, mid-discussion, glance over, Caduceus noticing first, Jester quickly second, and the rest of you, this figure approaching If I could have the player please come to the table Mica Burton is joining us as our guest SAM: This is a quick join MARISHA: Yeah, it is MATT: I was not going to have another Noelle Stevenson happen LIAM: Fastest ever, maybe MATT: Welcome, Mica! MICA: Thank you! MATT: Glad you could join us TRAVIS: (clapping) Aw, yeah! SAM: Do you need me to recap you on the D&D Beyond campaign? MICA: Uh, no SAM: Or should we just get into it? MICA: I saw your codpiece and that’s all I needed, so I’m all caught up LAURA: I’m sorry MICA: Yeah, thank you MATT: I’m so sorry MATT: If you’d like to describe what they see as you approach MICA: Yes! (dice clattering) SAM: Oh! MATT: Yes! SAM: Laura Bailey has a run for her money! TRAVIS: Oh no TALIESIN: That’s a lot LAURA: And they’re beautiful! MICA: Thank you! SAM: How will you roll any of them? MICA: This is my special one LAURA: (gasps) MICA: Okay, now I’m done MATT: (laughs) She came prepared MICA: I came prepared This one says fuck on the one LAURA: I don’t want to touch them. Can I touch them? MICA: Yeah, you can touch them LAURA: Oh my gosh TRAVIS: Dice protocol is very important LIAM: Well, we’ll see you next week, ladies and gentlemen (laughter) TALIESIN: Been a great show MICA: Right, so you see before you a warm brown-skinned aasimar, halo above her head, white cloak, white dress, thigh-high brown boots, gold freckles all over her skin, and bright gold eyes She has a scimitar and a wand stuck in her brown belt and she has long long long white blonde hair down to her waist up in a super-high ponytail on her head TRAVIS: Fucking dope LAURA: Aw shit! TRAVIS: A halo? MICA: A halo MATT: A faint glowing halo just above the head SAM: Is there any physical resemblance to Yasha, not like facial resemblance, but is it the same body type? TRAVIS: Stature-wise? MATT: No TRAVIS: Whoa Uh, wings?
MICA: No wings TRAVIS: No wings MICA: Just a halo TRAVIS: And a cloak Like a cloak with a hood? MICA: A white cloak with a hood and a gold trim and it matches the gold trim on her dress LAURA: Is your hood up or down right now? MICA: My hood is down right now TRAVIS: Brown-skinned, gold, golden eyes, and freckles? MICA: Golden freckles all over her body SAM: Golden freckles, that is so cool LAURA: That’s so fucking cool SAM: I mean: Oh, who’s this? (laughter) MARISHA: I think we’ve died We died, right? SAM: Fjord, draw your– nope LAURA: She’s beautiful MICA: I’m just here to make sure that everything’s fine, but I see that you’ve met Umi TRAVIS: Umi? LAURA and SAM: Umagorn? MICA: You’ve met Umi LAURA: Yes? Is that the guy in there that we talked to? MICA: Yeah, and I couldn’t help but overhearing something about a dragon LAURA: (gasps) MICA: I couldn’t help but overhearing something about going to find this dragon MARISHA: Wait wait wait wait wait His nickname’s Umi? MICA: Yeah! MARISHA: (laughs) TALIESIN: I’m glad I wasn’t the only one LAURA: You were listening to our entire– SAM: Are you a spy? MICA: I just I was eavesdropping just a little bit I’m sorry. I’m not sorry. I’m TRAVIS: You heard the whole conversation, then, or just the end? MICA: The whole conversation TRAVIS: Fair enough MARISHA: What’s your name? SAM: Were you invisible? MICA: My name is Reani TRAVIS: Reani MICA: I just wanted to make sure that he was safe I just want to make sure you guys aren’t bad And you guys don’t seem bad, you just seem LAURA: Awesome and colorful MICA: Like you need help TALIESIN: That, too, is very fair MARISHA: Are we that transparent? MICA: Kind of MARISHA: Yeah, that’s fair LIAM: You and Umagorn are– MICA: Umi LIAM: Yes, are friends or family or? MICA: He’s my friend LIAM: Okay LAURA: How long have you known him? MICA: For about four years LAURA: That’s cool MICA: Yeah SAM: Are you guys together? MICA: No SAM: Oh Because he’s– MICA: But I like to bake him things– LAURA: (gasps) MICA: — and I like to make him things He’s my friend and we like to, sometimes we tell each other secrets and sometimes we like to plant flowers together and sometimes, even though he grumbles about it, he lets me leave him little presents in his forge, I don’t know if you saw them, if you saw the flowers on the wall, that was me SAM: We did, but that guy? MATT: “Don’t listen to a single word she’s saying!” MICA: Umi, be quiet, you know you love me! LAURA: Umi, you love it! MATT: You see his arms splayed out on both sides of the doorframe, his face wet with sweat and bright red and he’s just like, “Would you please be so kind as to maybe, you know, “not just go rambling about things to strangers?” MARISHA: Hey Umi, you be proud of your sleepovers All right? There’s nothing to be ashamed LAURA: Of (laughter) SAM: It’s like we finish each other’s sentences TRAVIS: Holy shit! MATT: “Look, what you’re looking for, it’s not easy “Sure you could use some help “Go for it, but just, you know, “friends keep certain things between friends.” MICA: So you don’t want me to bring you back a souvenir? MATT: “I mean, yes, a souvenir’d be great, I’d love that.” MICA: That’s what I thought MATT: “And just ask– it’s too late now “There, fine “Anyway, good luck, stay alive, I’ll be here.” LAURA: You bake things? MICA: I do LAURA: What kind of things? MICA: I like cakes Umi likes my cakes, right, Umi? LAURA: Yeah, you do! MATT: “They’re tasty, I’ll give you that.” MICA: Thank you Umi likes my cakes LAURA: Do you want a cupcake? MICA: You have cupcakes? LAURA: Oh, do I have cupcakes! MICA: Can I have a cupcake? LAURA: Yes, and you can choose your flavor, though! MICA: I can choose my flavor? LAURA: I’ve got to see how many I have left, hold on, let me look at my thingie TALIESIN: You actually wrote that down, how many cupcakes you have LAURA: Fuck yes I did MATT: ♪ Keeping tabs on your inventory! ♪ LAURA: Other possessions. I have four cupcakes left! SAM: And they’re fresh! LAURA: They are fresh, I just got them MICA: Do you have a vanilla? LAURA: Let me look SAM: Ooh, I think they were blueberry LAURA: There was blueberry, but she did put a couple, there’s one black moss flavor left Have you had a black moss cupcake? MICA: Never LAURA: You’ve got to try it MICA: Well, then I’ll try it! LAURA: Okay, here you go It’s like the opposite of vanilla, but it’s so good! It kind of tastes like matcha MICA: (gasps) LAURA: I know! MICA: I just shove it in my face TRAVIS: Jester, I hate to interrupt the cupcake bonanza, but we are supposed to be– MARISHA: (blows raspberry) LAURA: Don’t get a little frosting on your cloak, because it’s so pristine MICA: Thank you, I won’t SAM: Is it good, do you like it? MICA: It’s so good! SAM: Insight check MATT: Roll! (laughter) SAM: Five MATT: She’s hard to read, Nott She got a tough exterior She seems to be enjoying the cupcake, but who knows? LAURA: What were you saying, Fjord? LIAM: Yeah, we have a to-do list Are we going to stand in the street or what are we doing? MARISHA: Yeah, let’s go somewhere Do you want to go with a bunch of strangers
back to a hotel room? MICA: I don’t see what could be wrong with that MARISHA: Awesome, she’s great MATT: “You’ll be fine, they’re curious.” MICA: I’ll make sure they don’t die! MATT: “And I’ll have one of those.” LAURA: Oh, I’ve only got– okay We got to stop back by this bakery, you guys SAM: We know where it is, it’ll be fine Reani? MICA: Yes SAM: Are we going to walk and talk? MICA: Yes! Let’s walk and talk! MARISHA: I look around, make sure no one’s listening SAM: What do you do? How do you know, are you a blacksmith like Umi? Uni? MICA: Umi SAM: Umi MICA: No, I’m not a blacksmith, I kind of keep this place safe TRAVIS: This place, Uthodurn? MICA: Yeah! SAM: From invaders, are you in the military? MICA: No, well, there’s a lot of bad people here and– LAURA: Here? MICA: Yeah, there’s a lot of underground crime You wouldn’t think it, but, well, now they’re not that much around because I like to take care of them I like to wander and help people, you know? I found Umagorn and he was, he took me in when I accidentally– it’s a long story MARISHA: You’re a vigilante? MICA: Kind of How about you guys come over to my house and I’ll make you guys tea and then we can talk TRAVIS: You have a house? SAM: Tea? TALIESIN: You have tea? MICA: I have tea! Do you like tea? MARISHA: You have a house? MICA: Yeah! LAURA: I feel like you’re our dream come true MICA: No, I’m just me SAM: She likes tea, she likes baked goods, do you also like whiskey? MICA: Who doesn’t? SAM: I love this person (laughter) MICA: I have wine if that’s more your style MARISHA: Who do you work for? Who sent you? MICA: Myself MARISHA: You said you know about secret underground organizations? MICA: Because I fight them MARISHA: Have you… are you playing both parties right now? Are you a spy? MICA: No MARISHA: Are you a double agent? MICA: No TRAVIS: You’ve said you’ve known Umi for about four years Have you been in this city longer than that? MICA: I’ve been here for about five years TRAVIS: About five years. What were you doing before that? MICA: Well, before that I was wandering around saving other people, and before that, I was dropped off by my mom in Nicodranas, and before that, I don’t know, I was born, I guess LIAM: What is– SAM: Nicodranas? Jessie’s from Nicodranas! MICA: What, no way! LAURA: You’re from Nicodranas, too MICA: We’re going to be friends SAM: Are you guys called Nicodranians? LAURA: Mm-hmm Nicodranians SAM: Nicodranians LAURA: Yeah LIAM: They’re from the Drans MICA: I’m sorry, were you asking about TRAVIS: I was a little bit curious, I’ve never seen a– what is that? MICA: Well, Landon told me that it means that I’m part angel or celestial or something, but I don’t know, some really nice angel talks to me from time to time in my dreams and tells me what to do, so I’m just going to trust it SAM: Landon is the name of your angel? MICA: No, Landon’s like my dad LAURA: Like your dad? MICA: He’s kind of my dad, I don’t know my dad MARISHA: You have daddy issues too? LAURA: I don’t know my dad either! MARISHA: Damn it! She’s too perfect SAM: That’s four out of six LAURA: Do you like fire? Do you shove balls into your stomach? MICA: I don’t shove anything into anywhere LAURA: That’s okay MARISHA: Is that your actual accent? Do you have another accent that you’re hiding? MICA: No? LIAM: I feel like we are losing focus MARISHA: You’re right LIAM: We have to find a dragon and deal with it I don’t understand why you want to accompany us on that MICA: Well, it’s funny you mention that, because remember the whole angel thing that I was telling you about? LIAM: Yeah, just 20 seconds ago MICA: He’s been telling me about a white dragon Then I heard you guys talking about a white dragon, so I feel like I have to go with you, right? SAM: Your angel’s been talking about a white dragon? MICA: Yeah, in my dreams I get dreams sometimes that tells me what to do so I follow it SAM: What’s this angel’s– MARISHA: It is you, too! SAM: Look, it’s five out of six! (shouting) MICA: I’m so confused, what’s happening? SAM: You are perfect But wait LAURA: Have you ever been in jail? Have you ever pretended to be someone else? SAM: Do you like to burn things? MICA: No, no, sometimes SAM: Oh! MARISHA: She’s like a horoscope LIAM: Who doesn’t like to burn things from time to time? TRAVIS: Do you like cats? SAM: Me! MICA: I love cats! TALIESIN: There, you’ve got six out of six TRAVIS: Do you like books? MICA: Eh SAM: Oh LIAM: Down the drain (whistles) SAM: What is your angel? LAURA: Is he dressed in a green cloak? MICA: No LAURA: Is he named the Traveler? MICA: No My angel’s name is Samliel, and he likes to talk to me and he came to me when I was really little and he tells me to go help people and he told me to come here and so I’ve been here for five years and he hasn’t really talked to me since, for a few years now, but then he started telling me about this dragon and then you guys said dragon,
and so I feel like I should be here, right? TRAVIS: Yeah no, you definitely should TALIESIN: I think we all need to sit down with a cup of tea LAURA: We’re your destiny! TRAVIS: You’re part angel or celestial but you have an angel that speaks to you, I’m sorry, I’m just trying to play catch-up MICA: Yeah LAURA: Oh, that would’ve been amazing MARISHA: Did you get it? LAURA: No MARISHA: Oh, so close MATT: Damn, that would’ve been cool TRAVIS: Yes, your house, how far is that from here and who is, who lives at your house? MICA: Oh, it’s just me TRAVIS: You have your own house after five years? MICA: Well, I’ve been traveling– SAM: You don’t know what the real estate market is here LAURA: Plus, we have our own house after like two days in Xhorhas SAM: It’s true TRAVIS: Yes, but we came by it under very questionable circumstances LAURA: Oh, no, she made the– have you ever carried a dodecahedron across enemy lines? MICA: No TRAVIS: Jester, maybe not with all of our stuff LAURA: Sorry, Fjord SAM: Are we close to your home? MICA: We are, it’s on the Liber Disk so we’re just going to walk a little bit further and we’re going to get to my house and if you want tea, I have tea, if you have wine, I have wine, I can also bake cookies, TRAVIS: She’s going to kill us all MICA: Does anybody want cookies? LAURA: I would love them! TALIESIN: That’s very exciting MICA: All right, well then follow me! MARISHA: I’m still not redacting my theory that we might be dead LAURA: I’m following behind her very enthusiastically TALIESIN: This is precisely what we’ve needed MATT: Traveling through the neighborhood, you guys still generally stick out like a sore thumb amongst the general populace of Uthodurn, you know A few eyes turn curiously as you walk by, some seem just confounded, some seem untrusting, some seem dubious LIAM: Do people react to her? MATT: It’s hard to tell, you’re moving as a cluster Nobody seems to cause any sort of stir for a being that walks around with a faint halo visible half the time TRAVIS: Yeah MATT: Nobody seems to be having any sort of adverse reaction or calling additional attention to it Probably as if they have seen it a number of times TRAVIS: As we’re walking, can we just keep an eye out for anyone else that has glowing circles above their heads? MATT: Sure, make a perception check TRAVIS: Yeah, let’s try this 20 MATT: Nice Currently the only one TRAVIS: There’s your class, roll amazing Okay, only one, good Those were shit before MARISHA: What’s your class? Roll amazing MATT: Hey, man, at least there’s balance somewhere As you move along for a few minutes, gauging this unexpected conversation and companion, you turn to see the domicile of Reani, if would you like to describe the home that they encounter? MICA: It’s a small home, mostly elven details, only one story, but once you enter, it goes far back so it’s like a studio apartment, so it’s kitchen, then living room, and then two small doors, so bedroom and bathroom MATT: It’s like the shotgun houses of New Orleans MICA: Exactly, yeah, yeah TALIESIN: One of those train car— MICA: Yeah, like a train car. Train car apartment. Yeah It’s filled with little knickknacks and books, definitely from places that aren’t from around here, they look like they’re from all over, like little keepsakes, lots of plants and a little dog bed in the corner (gasps) TRAVIS: You have so many plants That’s unusual, there’s no sunlight, yes? SAM: We’re underground, aren’t we? MICA: Well, I can keep them looking nice and I love plants TRAVIS: How do you do that? MICA: Well, once when I was a kid, and Landon told me to go get herbs, because he likes herbs, he’s like an alchemist, and I was his apprentice and that’s where my mom dropped me off, still haven’t met her though, that sucks, but I ran into these fey and they gave me powers and now I can do cool druid stuff TRAVIS: Right, yes SAM: See, Fjord, you just meet someone and they give you powers MICA: Yeah! TRAVIS: Right. Good, good MICA: Do you need a fairy or something, is that what’s happening? LAURA: Do you need a fairy, Fjord? TRAVIS: Not currently LIAM: Well– MARISHA: Can you like rent them or something? MICA: I don’t know MARISHA: For like training? MICA: If we go to a forest, I’m sure I could find one LIAM: Dragon, bringing it back to the dragon MICA: Oh right, the dragon, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah LAURA: As this conversation is going on, I’m going to wander around and look at all your knickknacks TALIESIN: It’s like someone dropped an ADD bomb MATT: Pretty much TRAVIS: I’m very interested in hearing what Samliel– MICA: Samliel TRAVIS: Has been telling you about a dragon MICA: Only that there is one TRAVIS: Oh, okay SAM: Give you any can he or they give you any details about where or– MICA: Nope! SAM: Well, can you ask? MICA: That’s not how that works LIAM: Any specific type of breed? MICA: A white dragon LIAM: White dragon SAM: So he just came to you in a dream and said, “There is a white dragon?” MICA: Mm-hmm SAM: Wake up! MICA: Mm-hmm! TRAVIS: How often do you communicate with your angel? MICA: Well, he’s been telling me about a white dragon every night for the past two weeks,
and last night I didn’t get anything, and today I met you! So I’m guessing that’s going to be it for a while LAURA: So he just pops in and goes, “White dragon,” and then goes away MICA: Mm-hmm, or “Bad guys,” or sometimes, “Big quest,” or sometimes, “There’s a war you have to stop!” Or, you know, stuff like that SAM: Is there a war that you have to stop? MICA: Not right now SAM: Oh MARISHA: How old are you? MICA: 33 LAURA: 33 MARISHA: I feel so under-accomplished LAURA: She’s done a lot TALIESIN: How long has it been since we messed up underneath the ground with the King Who Crawls? MATT: Oh, it’s probably been a few days TALIESIN: Okay, just a few days MATT: I’d say close to a week You guys have taken a few evenings to recover or for transitions to Nicodranas, so about a week TALIESIN: That’s- no, this is good This is good, this is good LAURA: I’m going to leave a little figurine of the Traveler that I have made amongst the rest of her knickknacks MATT: Okay Like, quietly? LAURA: Yes MATT: Make a sleight of hand check LAURA: Ooh 26 MATT: Cleverly, expertly placed as you just wander past one of the shelves and without even a moving or twitch of the arm, suddenly, something is there that previously wasn’t LIAM: Bringing the conversation back to our dragon, which could possibly be her dragon, is this, are we doing this now, we are set out in the morning to find this thing or– SAM: What time is it? MATT: At this point in time, you would know it’s pushing close to noon Probably about 11:00 in the morning LIAM: It’s 11:52 TALIESIN: Then figure out where we’re going and head out in the morning SAM: Well, don’t we need materials first? We need the sword, right? LAURA: We have the sword LIAM: Caleb does, but Liam doesn’t remember, did they give us directions to where this thing is or it’s just out in the wild? MATT: You have, nobody knows Or at least that you’ve encountered You’re given a couple possibilities, you were mentioned that there was the Vellum Steeple, which is an archive, might be a good place to go for information You were told of the Plexus Post, which is an odd trading post run by an individual named Ava, and those are the only real clues you have at the moment, the rest is up to you guys to try and figure out SAM: The items that we needed, we needed the sword– MATT: You have the sword pieces LAURA: We need some mithral MATT: You need some mithral to take with you to be enchanted and whatever else you guys are looking for as far as like– TALIESIN: And then the refined residuum MATT: Refined residuum, if that’s something you’re looking for as well TRAVIS: Mithral is what we need to have for iceflex Like, the breath on the mithral LAURA: Yes MARISHA: I mean, I imagine we could go try and talk to Ava, see if she has any? MICA: (pained) Oh SAM: What’s that, you have a stomachache? MICA: No, she’s mean LAURA: Ava? TRAVIS: Who’s mean? MICA: Ava LAURA: Ava Endlewood LIAM: Mean like she would hit us, or– MICA: No, mean like she doesn’t like my flower crowns when I give them to her TRAVIS: Flower crowns? MICA: Do you want one? LAURA: Do you want one? MICA: Before he even answers I immediately start Druidcrafting little flowers and start weaving them together super fast and I just place the flower crown on his head TRAVIS: I feel… ♪ pretty! ♪ (laughter) TALIESIN: It suits you TRAVIS: Thank you MICA: See, he likes it She doesn’t LAURA: She’s obviously got problems SAM: Well, we’re quite likable, so maybe we can turn the tide and go speak with her and get her– MICA: You can try! SAM: To like us, maybe? MICA: Yeah! SAM: Do you know where she, she has this Plexus Post? LAURA: She’s at the Plexus Post MICA: She is, yeah SAM: Do you know where that is? MICA: I do, but can we go there after wine? SAM: Sure I thought, yeah? MICA: Wine and tea first, yeah? TALIESIN: Wine and tea for the moment, sure MICA: Yeah! I immediately start bustling around the kitchen and making tea and pouring glasses of wine for everyone MARISHA: Okay, so this Master Ava, maybe she requires a certain disposition Maybe– SAM: She doesn’t like frilly things LIAM: Maybe she just doesn’t want party favors placed on top of her head MARISHA: Maybe you should talk to her LIAM: I’m going to the archive, so SAM: Oh! MARISHA: I would like to join you at the archives but you could also, we could go and we could talk to Ava first, or Fjord TRAVIS: If you want to go to the archives, I’d be happy to talk to her LIAM: That’s your strong suit LAURA: I could help you, Fjord MARISHA: I’ll go with you, too LAURA: He can hold entire worms with a whip TRAVIS: Hold worms, yep. Hold the worms
TALIESIN: Possibly refined residuum And we need to find some mithral TRAVIS: Yes, do we have a lead on mithral? LIAM: Well, maybe the trading post, that’s a good place to start for that SAM: Didn’t Umi tell us that she would have some? TALIESIN: — everybody who’s looking for everything everywhere SAM: Let’s go talk to her TALIESIN: Inevitably, the right path is going to open up We already have divine intervention LIAM: I don’t know how long we’re going to be here, we never seem to stay in one place for long, so I would like to go to the archive as soon as possible After tea and wine, I assume MARISHA: Yeah, I’ll go with you, we can do some research, figure out the white dragon, maybe some mithral, maybe some other things, we’ll hit the books TALIESIN: Do you actually hit the book? I can imagine you hitting the the books, though MARISHA: They make great targets TRAVIS: Then let’s have that tea and wine and be on our way MICA: I start to serve everyone their tea and wine And cookies from last week LAURA: Yes! MICA: Sorry, they’re a little stale LAURA: What kind of cookies? MICA: They’re chocolate chip LAURA: That’s delicious. Do you have any milk? MICA: I don’t LAURA: That’s okay, that’s okay, tea is really good SAM: Insight check (laughter) MATT: Go ahead and roll SAM: 10 TALIESIN: (laughs) MATT: You can’t tell if you’re getting the entire truth, but a little part of you thinks that maybe, she might be out of milk Maybe didn’t have it to begin with SAM: This one’s hard to read TALIESIN: Only soy milk or almond milk, there’s no actual milk in this LIAM: No cattle TALIESIN: Yeah MATT: There’s goats. They have goat milk here TALIESIN: Goat milk, is that beast milk? MATT: Goat milk is actually pretty popular in dwarven societies TRAVIS: I don’t mean to pry, but that scimitar you have is quite impressive MICA: Thanks, I kill a lot of things with it! TRAVIS: I gather MICA: Yeah TRAVIS: Is that a wand in your belt? MICA: Yeah! TRAVIS: What do you prefer, the wand or the sword? MICA: Well, I prefer I prefer to Maybe I should just show you I want to Wild Shape into a wolf MATT: A standard wolf? MICA: A standard wolf I don’t think a dire wolf would fit in here MATT and MICA: It’d be pretty tight quarters MATT: You watch as Reani takes a moment and then shifts the entire body magically into a wolfen form MARISHA: She’s a druid MICA: I’ll spin around in a circle and I’ll sit in the dog bed LAURA: Is the dog bed for you? How long can you stay a dog? LIAM: That is a wolf MICA: Un-wild shape TRAVIS: Can you bark? MICA: I just, I don’t know, sometimes it’s comfy SAM: Wow LAURA: I really like, sometimes I’m an animal, too MICA: What? LAURA: And it’s really really fun MICA: Right? Sometimes I like to sleep as a dog because I dunno, it’s comfy LAURA: I will try that I’ve never thought to do that MICA: You’ll get a great night’s sleep, I promise LAURA: This one time I was a moth and I ate curtains MICA: Are curtains tasty? LAURA: They were at the time MICA: Well, now I got to try it! LAURA: Yeah MICA: I’ll take your word for it! TRAVIS: How far is the archive from where we are now, do you know, Reani? MATT: It’s maybe about an hour’s walk MICA: It’s about an hour’s walk I can pack snacks. Does anybody want snacks? LAURA: Yes! TALIESIN: I always like snacks SAM: Well, we’re going to two different places, right? MICA: Wait, what? SAM: Some of us are going to the Plexus Post with you to meet Ava MICA: Okay SAM: Then our learned gentleman here wants to go to the archive MICA: I know guys at the archives, I can go with you after if you want! LIAM: Could you– is the archive on the way to the Plexus Post? Further down into the city? MATT: (laughs) The Plexus Post is actually on the way to the archive The archive is the furthest distance It’s right on the cusp of the bottom disc MARISHA: We should all go together MICA: It’s better to stick together SAM: We’ll be on the way MARISHA: Listen to the angel, it’s better to stick together TRAVIS: At the first sign of hesitation, you can leave LIAM: Books TALIESIN: Hopefully you’ll get a presentation MICA: If I give you one of my books to hold, would you feel better? LIAM: Do you have any good books? MICA: I have a lot of books about plants LIAM: I’ll take it MICA: Do you want a book about plants? LIAM: Could one be a loaner? MICA: Okay I’ll, no, you can have it! (giggles) I’m going to go to my tiny little bookshelf and just get a book Here It’s about plants you can make poisons out of, I hope you like it SAM: Ooh LIAM: I start to speed read SAM: I might want to take a look at that one MARISHA: So you know, actually we had a, we have– we have a friend who was also, is also, fuck, an aasimar MICA: Cool SAM: She’s an enemy MICA: I was trying to be positive LAURA: She had a bad time She is no longer a good person MICA: Oh LAURA: Maybe TALIESIN: She’s still a good person LAURA: She’s stuck being a bad person right now SAM: She might not have ever been a good person LAURA: Yes, she was MICA: I’m getting a lot of different stories here TRAVIS: Don’t worry about it MARISHA: She was very enigmatic LIAM: We’ve lost a friend for the moment MICA: Okay LIAM: It’s a raw subject
MICA: That sucks MARISHA: I just didn’t know if, this is going to sound like a dumb question, but if there wasn’t some sort of communication system– SAM: Among the aasimar? MARISHA: Yeah MICA: No I mean, do you know if your friend has an angel friend, too? SAM: Bad devil friend MICA: Oh, well then, if she was bad, I’d have to kill her SAM: Ooh MICA: Sorry, those are the rules TRAVIS: Sorry, what rule is that? MICA: The rule is that evil dies TRAVIS: Evil dies MICA: Evil dies LAURA: Oh no, does this mean this white dragon is evil? MICA: I don’t know, Samliel didn’t tell me All I heard was “Dragon!” LAURA: He didn’t go “Dragon: kill?” MICA: No, just “Dragon!” TRAVIS: You have to kill evil, not evil dies in general, you are tasked with destroying evil? MICA: If there is evil, I will kill it MARISHA: How do you know the difference between what’s evil and maybe someone who’s just confused or complicated? LIAM: Yes, what is your stance on– MICA: Samliel usually tells me, and I just listen to him LIAM: Does he have a stance on gray areas? MICA: No TRAVIS: What if you disagree? MICA: I don’t disagree SAM: Wow MICA: None of you are evil, right? LAURA: Nope! MICA: Cool MARISHA: No TALIESIN: Yeah TRAVIS: Not today TALIESIN: Not really LAURA: He’s joking MICA: Okay He liked my flower crown, so he can’t be evil LAURA: He’s a good guy, he’s a super good guy SAM: Shall we set off to the Plexus Post? MICA: Yeah! LAURA: Let’s do it! MICA: This way, everybody MARISHA: Caduceus, as we walk Does the Wildmother tell you if people are evil and gives you assassination tasks? TALIESIN: Well, yeah TRAVIS: (laughs) Shut the fuck up! TALIESIN: No (laughter) MARISHA: You’re just playing the long con! MATT: How do you think all those bodies made it into that graveyard he grew up in? TALIESIN: I made it myself Oh no I do want to just, on the way out, ask her plants: Is she on the up-and-up? Everything seems all right? You guys see a lot Is she all right? MATT: The plants flicker a vibrant green and healthy in their sunless abode TALIESIN: That’s what I thought. All right, good Excellent MATT: All right LAURA: As we walk, I’m going to whisper to the Traveler Hey, so, apparently some people talk to their people in dreams and say, “Hey, go find these people,” and you don’t really tell me anybody to really look for necessarily, but if you ever want to, you know, feel free Also, do you know anything about the white dragon, because that could be helpful MATT: Out of the corner of your eye, Reani, you just see Jester quietly talking to herself emphatically Continuing, you guys are led through the main auger, Auger Road, further down, through the Liber Disk, until eventually you come upon a rather gaudy-looking building that you can see already the entranceway is like a double-set door and with a little bit of the window light you can see inside, there are multi-colored paper lanterns that are clustered and jammed in corners You can see bits and scraps of colored material and silks covering most of the windows themselves There’s a sign out front that says The Plexus Post It just remains still, not much in the way of noise or traffic making its way in or out TRAVIS: Remind me again, we’re talking to Ava? MARISHA: Ava Master Ava TALIESIN: Well, this looks good MARISHA: She’s apparently the collector I mean, Reani seems to know far more about her MICA: Don’t make her mad! TRAVIS: Don’t make her mad, don’t offer any flower wreaths LIAM: No flowers MICA: Unfortunately LIAM: Or crowns, no crowns TRAVIS: And we’re looking for mithral SAM: Yes, and anything about dragons she might know TRAVIS: All right MARISHA: I’m going to stay out here and keep watch, I think Just survey the scene TALIESIN: So paranoid LAURA: I’ll stay out there with Beau TALIESIN: All right SAM: I’m going in as well TALIESIN: I’m definitely going in MATT: Okay, who all’s going inside? LAURA: I will be going in in a moment after I finish making the Plexus Post look like the Penis Post MATT: So you’re painting on the sign? MARISHA: I stand guard MATT: Okay Make a sleight of hand check SAM: It’s pretty easy LAURA: Yeah, I looked, I checked it out TRAVIS: What if Reani thinks you’re evil and kills you for doing this? LAURA: It’s not evil, it’s fun 19! Plus
eight, 27 MICA: Power of the penis MATT: In a very impressive display of Banksy-level street art, you rapidly scrawl across the Plexus Post sign and leave it as intended LIAM: Hope you didn’t use your magic paint LAURA: Nope LIAM: (thudding) SAM: ♪ Jester’s world of dicks! ♪ (laughter) MATT: All right You enter through the front doors; a familiar sight to you, but the rest of you see the most organized hoarder experience you could imagine in a subterranean elf-dwarven city It is just floor-to-ceiling canisters and bags, and little boxes, each with little labels and tags on them, just from floor to ceiling, awkwardly set in ways where some look like they’re about to tumble over Everything looks cluttered but organized, if that makes sense Like, it’s a mass amount of all sorts of containers of different sizes and strange scents immediately hit you that are a combination of scented candles and dried ceder meets a musty fungal smell and as soon as you take the next step, that shifts again into dried meats and long-dusty leather, and the next step leads you into the smells of wet metal It is a strange interior and is immediately imposing and it feels like you’re walking into a warehouse that you have no idea what lies in here As soon as you enter with what low light there is from some lanterns around you, and the scraps of material that hang in front of the windows and parts of the ceiling Across the way, you see a figure spin around in a little swiveling stool, currently in the process of holding a tiny knickknack in hand with a paintbrush You see an elven woman with wide shoulders and a faint mustache of dark gray-green color that matches her long gray-green hair, very fine and thin She’s dressed in a patterned frock of Marquesian make under a cotton robe She turns around, looks at you, places her little knickknack and brush on the side, and stands up, in this awkward, stilted way, and approaches, upper body almost unmoving as the feet swivel one in front of the other, the head slightly tilted “Might I help you?” LIAM: Yeah, we are new to this city, and we are here for a few things, some supplies for our journey and also to do a bit of fact-finding and believe it or not, we are searching for some mithral in town, I don’t suppose you have anything for sale, ha ha ha? MATT: “Ha ha ha, I can check “I have many things “Many things.” MARISHA: Hey, Mark! MATT: “All I ask is you stay put, please.” TALIESIN: Of course MATT: “Stay put, I’ll look.” SAM: Okay MATT: She turns around (whooshes) and whisks off and then vanishes down one of the aisles and you can hear things shifting out of sight, boxes being moved, and things clattering to the ground It sounds like a pot, almost like ping ping ping ping ping over the side, and “Oh, shit!” TRAVIS: Reani, how often do you speak with Ava? MICA: I try not to, but I got to pay rent She takes all my things and she gives me money and so like, I dunno SAM: She pays you? MICA: Once a month I give her stuff TRAVIS: She knows you’re resourceful MICA: Yeah TRAVIS: Okay LAURA: She takes your things? MICA: She takes my things SAM: What do you mean, she takes your things? MICA: I give her, I give her things Trade things SAM: Oh, I see, I see LIAM: What kind of things do you trade to her? MICA: Things, you know, I’ve been around Just stuff that I found, I found some dungeons and they had some mystical artifacts in them or whatever, and so I keep them, and so sometimes I give them to her because she wants them LIAM: Okay MICA: She still doesn’t take my flower crowns, whatever MATT: The figure turns back, coming along the way with a small wooden box with a number of shiny things poking out the top, and sets it down on the table where she was sitting “You may come now, please, to my desk, if you don’t mind.” TALIESIN: Of course, of course SAM: Does she look like a bunch of kobolds in a– (laughter) MATT: Make a perception check TRAVIS: Come on, higher than 10 SAM: 17 MATT: 17 You glance around, across the robe, intently looking No signs of kobolds, but your eyes meet her intently noticing you intently looking at her and goes, “Tsk, tsk tsk.” SAM: Sorry, sorry MARISHA: She didn’t like eye contact?
SAM: I was scoping her MATT: “I have some mithral things, “perhaps you’re interested,” and sets the box down. You look inside There are a mithral teacup, a small figurine, they’re all just little things that’ve been crafted or pressed or molded to be collectibles, and apparently made of mithral, the material itself looks beautiful, but it’s not like a bar of ore by any means LAURA: Oh man, I wonder how much old Umi needs TALIESIN: What do you do with a mithral teacup? LAURA: Drink out of it! TALIESIN: Well– well, that’s fair Yeah MICA: If you’re really fancy MATT: “The nobles have strange tastes, “and when they get “sick of their old things and buy new ones, “well, they find their way to me.” TALIESIN: Huh TRAVIS: Just as a means of measure, that particular teacup, very charming How much would you require for that? MATT: “Oh, for that teacup there? Let’s see “Fine craftsmanship, mithral as itself “is a fantastic material, especially for crafting, “pliable, but light, and strong and sturdy “That is meant to last many lifetimes, “something you pass down from generation to generation “That teacup I’d say would run you about “75 gold pieces.” LAURA: Oh, okay okay! SAM: How much for all of it together? MATT: “All of this, the box here? “Oh, you’re looking for quite a bit, aren’t you, “little one? You’re such a minx.” (laughter) She looks very passively-aggressively unhappy with being eyeballed by you “For the box entirely, I’d say “800 gold.” LAURA: That’s a lot MATT: “It’s a lot of mithral.” LAURA: Yeah, I know, I just don’t know if we need that much, I’m not sure MATT: “Well, then, grab a few things “and we’ll pay for them individually “I don’t have all day, make your choices.” LAURA: She’s so mean MICA: I told you she’s mean! TALIESIN: I quite like it, it’s fascinating I don’t mean to ask, but since it seems like we might do a bit of shopping here, I’m also, we’re looking for some refined residuum, if you have anything like that MATT: “I’m not entirely certain I know what that is.” LAURA: (gasps) Oh, wow, you don’t know what residuum? Wow MATT: “I know of residuum “I have some residuum “Refined residuum, describe that to me.” TALIESIN: Oh, it’s like residuum, but a denser, larger, pure crystal, a big green crystal of it, I guess would be the best way of– MATT: “Green crystal.” TALIESIN: Big green crystal MATT: “I’ll be back, pink one!” She stands up and drifts off again The feet moving quickly SAM: Should I steal all the mithral? TRAVIS: No no no no no SAM: Should I steal some of the mithral? Yes? LIAM: Just no, we are going to use our words There is no reason to flip this whole situation upside down TALIESIN: We’re on a divine mission You can’t be weird about a divine mission MICA: Also, if you steal it, I’ll have to kill you TRAVIS: Yes, right SAM: Just wait, so– LAURA: But if she’s stealing from a bad person MICA: Even though she doesn’t take my flower crowns, she isn’t a bad person, she’s just mean SAM: So Reani, you’re that hard line, so if I jaywalked across the street, insta-death Beheading instantly Like where is the line? LAURA: What if you’re stealing a loaf of bread to give it to an orphan? SAM: Like in “Les Mis?” (laughter) MICA: Well, that’s different because then you’re doing good But if you’re stealing for your own means, then that’s bad LAURA: What if we’re stealing the mithral so we can create a sword that will help save the world? LIAM: These are those gray areas we were talking about MICA: Oh, oh gosh, Samliel didn’t prepare me for this LAURA: It’s all about balance, really MICA: Mmm MATT: You hear an impact heavily and you see a jar of some kind slams into the ground from off the side alley where you watched Ava disappear down and then roll a bit before the top opening and a bunch of dust spilling out and you hear, “Aw, shit!” TRAVIS: Do you need a hand? MATT: “No, it’s all right, just ashes,” and darts back off into the side TRAVIS: Does it look like ashes? MATT: It looks like ashes MICA: You said you’re saving the world, right? LAURA: Mm-hmm MICA: Which is good Can I go to sleep and take a nap and see if my angel will talk to me because this is really confusing SAM: Okay Reani, don’t worry about it, I won’t steal anything from here, you don’t have to make a life or death call MICA: Okay TRAVIS: As we’re looking around the shop, are there any arms or shields or plate armor or any other things that adventurers might be looking to– MATT: Make a perception check TRAVIS: Acquire LAURA: Also anything that just looks cool TRAVIS: 13 MATT: You can make a perception check as well SAM: Yes, I would like to also look for shiny things TALIESIN: I’m also going to cast Detect Magic and see if anything pops up
MATT: All right MICA: I’m going to stand there and start crafting more flower crowns MATT: Okay SAM: 10 MATT: 17, 10 LAURA: 14, wait 15 MATT: 15, okay Looking around, you don’t see anything that looks visibly armor Most things are put away, like they’re locked in the boxes or set into crates and above higher shelves and there’s just row after row after row of high shelves, floor to ceiling, and the ceiling itself probably goes to about 11 or 12 feet up TRAVIS: Entering a Room of Requirement MATT: A little bit At a first glance, you’re not entirely certain what could be a weapon Some of them are long boxes, short boxes, tall boxes, wide boxes, some of them are baskets, some– this is the most mighty haberdashery beneath the surface of Exandria Yeah, between you and Nott both, you’d have to pore through these to really make ends of what’s inside SAM: They’re boxes, nothing is out and exposed MATT: No, no TRAVIS: No price tag swinging LAURA: Are there any boxes that could be opened? MATT: I’m sure there’s plenty TALIESIN: Anything glowing, though? MATT: There are a few things glowing, actually, in the vicinity. You do not see anything sticking out, but what you do notice is at the top of two of these stacks, you see two tiny creatures They have dark, ashen-gray skin, little humanoid face with a pointed nose and fanged teeth, little sets of wings, they’re just perched on top, looking down at you with these faintly glowing yellow eyes Little imps, just watching SAM: Security cameras MARISHA: Jester TRAVIS: Imps? LAURA: Imps TALIESIN: Very standard in any type of shop like this LAURA: Have you seen this before? MICA: Yeah LAURA: Aren’t those bad things? MICA: Eh Samliel hasn’t said anything, so I let them live LAURA: Okay TALIESIN: Moral servitude, I’m so glad that we’re finally getting a bit of this, I feel like it’s been missing from this group for a while (laughter) I’m not saying it’s a flavor we have to have all the time, but I’m glad– TRAVIS: All we needed was the threat of imminent death, that’s all we needed TALIESIN: I’m glad you’re getting a taste That’s all I’m saying TRAVIS: I don’t know, if we steal that, you might have to die LAURA: Can I wave at them? MATT: Mm-hmm The head just turns LAURA: Can I hold up a little bit of cookie that I took from her house? MATT: The one on, that’d be your left side takes off and snatches out of your hand and rushes back up to the perch and (chewing) “Thank you.” TRAVIS: Oh shit, it talks! LAURA: You’re welcome! MATT: Then it just keeps watching At which point, Ava turns the corner again, has two baskets under each arm, different, one’s like a dark brown shade and the other one’s just a dull gray, it looks like it’s been woven Sets them down “All right “Let’s see if we have what’s necessary,” and pulls out what looks to be, there are different shards of glass One looks like pieces of elongated crystal that have been made into points The coloration’s a little off, it looks more of like a blueish-clear crystal “I don’t think that’s it “I do have some residuum.” Sets down a small pouch, looks like a snuff pouch if you will, but opening it up, you can see inside there’s a condensed block of residuum that’s just been pressed She goes ahead and pulls open a wooden box with a lock on it You watch Ava look at it and do a little signal with a finger and the lock (clicking) opens up (creaks) Opens up and on the inside, you do see five elongated shards, almost diamond-shape of familiar green glass TALIESIN: That’s what I’m looking for, right there MATT: “Fantastic, glad to hear it.” SAM: How much would that cost us? MATT: “Ah well, let me go look at my books “I’m not sure what the going rate is for refined residuum.” TALIESIN: I’ll also mention that we are happy to discuss trade or any sorts of work that may need to be done MATT: “Work, you say? “What’s your specialties?” TALIESIN: Well MATT: “Are you in league with this one? “As unique as she may be, “she does occasionally bring useful things to me “Are you in a similar sort of wanderlust type lifestyle?” TRAVIS: We may be in that very sort of position, actually LIAM: Definitely some overlap MATT: “Now,” and you see the eyes look back to you, “are you more of the bold creature-hunting type “or do your skills lean more subtle? “Unseen, quiet?” TRAVIS: Actually, we’re quite talented in both arenas SAM: We were talking about going to tangle with a white dragon MATT: “That’s ridiculous.” SAM: Is it, do you know of one around here? MATT: “No.” SAM: Okay TALIESIN: We will probably be having an encounter
with a white dragon, perhaps before the week is up TRAVIS: However, if you needed more subtle work, as you put it, accomplished, we might be able to help out MATT: “Well, then.” She takes the two baskets off the table, leaving the one unlocked case of the residuum glass and goes “Are you able to bypass barriers unseen, “only to return with this none the wiser?” LIAM: We have before MATT: “Good “I have a bit of a personal issue “with one to the noble families in Uthodurn “They’re not very nice, they’re not very gracious “They’re, well, “how do I say it, classless.” TALIESIN: Mm MATT: “And they’ve come into the ownership “of something that was intended for me, not lawfully so “I would be interested in perhaps you “finding your way subtly into their estate “and returning it to its rightful, paid-for owner.” LAURA: So they stole it from you MATT: “Yes.” MICA: So they’re evil MATT: “They are immoral and scrupulous.” LIAM: How believable is this story? TALIESIN: I was going to insight check some of this MATT: Make an insight check LIAM: Pretty believable TALIESIN: 14 LIAM: Oh, 15 MATT: 15? Her demeanor is so strange and off-kilter that you’re having a hard time really discerning any subtle motive. Seems pretty straightforward LIAM: All right SAM: Who is this royal person and where do they reside? MATT: “They are known as the Tumblecarves.” SAM: Tumblecarves? MATT: “Their residence is near the end of the Liber Disk “in the affluent Demerant Circle “There’s a number of wealthy families that live there, but “it shouldn’t be too hard to find their estate, “a three-story home towards the back wall, “wedge-shaped at the front, “dual balconies on the second floor “Keep an eye for it.” SAM: And the item? MATT: “They have a ring that belongs to me “They made it part of their personal museum collection “It’s a red metal spiral across the band, “filigreed ring with elven script set atop “by an oval-shaped polished stone of jet “That is my quarry and I would like my property back.” LAURA: What does the ring do? MATT: “That’s none of your concern.” LAURA: Well, what if it’s going to kill us the minute we pick it up? MATT: “It’s going to kill you, I assure you.” LAURA: Is it a good ring then? Will it help people when you put it on? MATT: “It will help me quite a bit.” TRAVIS: We only ask in case it’s something we might be able to utilize in need of quick escape to return it to you MATT: “Unfortunately not “It’s more of a, more of a subtle enchantment “Don’t worry yourself with it.” TALIESIN: I imagine this’ll be something that we’d take care of perhaps after our more pressing matter? TRAVIS: Well TALIESIN: We can– one thing at a time, of course Did you want to see anything else in the shop, by the way, since we’re here? TRAVIS: You noticed a few magical pings, yeah? TALIESIN: I was curious about that, that, that LIAM: You keep saying that, like 12 times TALIESIN: That, that, that, that, that Come up with it, Matt! Sorry MATT: So what are you asking about, just…? TALIESIN: I am pointing specifically at everything that glowed when I was looking around MATT: Okay MICA: Those things MATT: Three of the blips that you saw were from a similar space Goes over and takes this small, long box off the shelf, sets it down, and slides it open The lid actually pulls outward and leaves it open You can see in there these river stone-looking pieces of rock that are faintly blue and they almost look somewhat translucent, like a polished quartz crystal, semi-opaque, semi-transparent, and they’re a little soft, she pulls one out and sets it down and it like, it seems to have a little give to it as its placed SAM: Like a mochi ball? MATT: Kind of, I guess you could say TALIESIN: That’s interesting SAM: What does it do, what does it do? MATT: “I have to go check, I’ll be right back.” LAURA: Why doesn’t she know these things? SAM: Why don’t you bring the books to the front? All right, it’s fine TRAVIS: You know what you should do, Nott? You should touch it and see what happens SAM: I’ll touch it MATT: As your hand gets close, you hear (hissing) from both of the imps up there TALIESIN: Thank you LAURA: I guess it’s good you didn’t try to steal all the mithral, hm? MATT: She returns SAM: We could kill them very quickly
MATT: “These are echo stones.” TALIESIN and LAURA: Echo stones? MATT: “Yes. Watch.” She takes it and squeezes it in her hand and you watch it glows faintly, and she goes, “It’s useful “Hopefully, depending on the situation,” and then releases it, and tosses it about five feet behind you. (clicks) It makes almost no sound as it hits the ground MARISHA: It’s a talk back MATT: And that’s it SAM: But what does it I go over and wave my hand over it, touch it MATT: It’s kind of squishy SAM: Jump over it MATT: You leap over it TRAVIS: Rather disappointing LAURA: I’m going to pick it up and squeeze it in my hand MATT: As you go and pick it up, it suddenly says the exact phrase in the exact voice she left into it SAM: Interesting LAURA: It’s a way to leave messages for each other or? TRAVIS: Or distraction, perhaps? MATT: “It’ll repeat it over time.” Let me pull the exact object up here SAM: That’s pretty cool I don’t know how we would use it, but we could come up with something MARISHA: It’s like the whiteboard on– MATT: “It repeats it ever five minutes.” LAURA: On its own? MATT: “On its own until its been squeezed once more “and no longer in continuing its “repetition.” LAURA: Oh, it’s a diversion TRAVIS: That’s cool MATT: There are five of them in the box, or four in the box, now and the one that’s, “Oh, if you wouldn’t mind, please.” LAURA: Oh, sorry, I was chewing on it a little bit, it’s probably okay, though TRAVIS: How much would one of those run? MATT: “Oh, each of these runs about 100 gold pieces “You could say 450 for the lot if you’re interested.” TRAVIS: Could be useful when infiltrating LIAM: May I ask, would you mind if I inspected your residuum? MATT: “By all means,” and slides it forward on the table LAURA: The refined residuum? MATT: It’s a familiar color and texture to you TALIESIN: What?! LAURA: (gasps) That’s what the crystals were! SAM: What crystals? LAURA: That he had to shove into his arm! SAM: Oh shit! MARISHA: That makes sense LAURA: We’re not saying that out loud, don’t worry SAM: I’m saying it out loud! No (laughter) LIAM: Thank you LAURA: (sighs) MATT: “Of course “So “If you wish for these stones, “one, two, or the lot, whatever you’d like to purchase.” LAURA: How much– TALIESIN: Before we do, is there anything else that I saw popping up? MATT: She pulls over and you can see a small vial, it has swirling, a dull, let me look at the coloration on this one here TALIESIN: Yep SAM: You’ve got all the items MATT: This one has a pinkish-purple tint to it TALIESIN: Oh, that’s cool MATT: And goes like, “This in particular is an elixir that can purify the body “of any sort of ailments, I believe so,” and she grabs it and looks underneath and puts the little tag “That is exactly what it is.” TALIESIN: That labeling system’s a really good idea, that’s actually– MATT: “It’s occasionally helpful.” LAURA: You should maybe write what it does on the outside of the box, so you don’t have to– MATT: “Then it just makes it that much easier “for it to be pilfered by wandering eyes.” LAURA: This is true TALIESIN: What does… nevermind MATT: “Don’t doubt my techniques, I don’t doubt yours.” MICA: See, she’s mean! SAM: She’s kind of abrasive TALIESIN: Was there anything else that was glowing up that like I might have picked? MATT: There was the stones, there was the vial, and I’ll say there is probably one– TALIESIN: One more I won’t push any further past this one MATT: Okay, okay (laughs) TALIESIN: Got to do three MATT: Brings it over and pulls up a small jewelry box, about that big Pulls it up out of a larger container, rummaging through, lifts it and opens it up, looks for the little tag on the side and goes, “Yes, this is a ring that’s enchanted “A simple application with the intent of just “enabling a minor bit of passive protection “to an individual who, you know, “wishes to survive in a very harsh world.” SAM: Fjord, do you think you could use one of those? LAURA: Who has on a ring of protection already? TRAVIS: How much for that useful ring you have there? MARISHA: They’re expensive MATT: “Ah, let’s see, that would run you about “3000 gold pieces for that.” TRAVIS: Right, what is that, a plus two to AC or plus one? MATT: Plus one to AC and saving throws MICA: Do you need protection, Mr. Green Man? LAURA: His name is Fjord MICA: Fjord, do you need protection, Fjord? TRAVIS: Uh, yes MICA: I can protect you TRAVIS: Thank you LAURA: We never told her our names MARISHA: We didn’t MICA: No, but you guys seem nice so I just trusted you
SAM: Wow! You’re so nice You know, Ava, Reani here tells us so much about you and about how wonderful you are to work with and how kind you are to her and– MICA: That’s not what I said SAM: Oh, well, I was trying to help out with your relationship a little bit MICA: No, it’s okay MATT: “We’re very aware of our relationship “Thank you for whatever you’re attempting, “but it’s unnecessary.” MICA: I’m guessing you still don’t want a flower crown? MATT: “I will destroy you.” TRAVIS: Ava, could I offer you 850 gold for all of the mithral that you have and one of those little echo stones? MATT: Make a persuasion check TRAVIS: 16 MATT: 16 “Deal.” Shuffles the pile of various mithral knickknacks and sets one of the stones amongst the pile Closes the box TALIESIN: We have some business to take care of and then once we’re finished with it, we’ll be back to have our conversation, perhaps about the residuum MATT: “Well, if you manage to return this object I seek, “then I’m very excited of this transaction.” TALIESIN: I am excited as well, I think this may work out well for everybody involved MATT: “I’m curious, and just because I’m a curious creature, “what is your intent with this refined residuum?” TALIESIN: I am on a mission for the Wildmother She asked me to procure this and so I shall MATT: “Hm “Sure “Very well “Anything else you require?” TRAVIS: Did you want the residuum? TALIESIN: We’ll be back I do, but– LIAM: One step at a time, right? TALIESIN: One step at a time TRAVIS: Fair enough LIAM: You don’t deal in spells, do you? MATT: “No, unfortunately the Steeple “tends to run most of that business.” LIAM: Of course MARISHA: Is that where we’re going next? Did I notice anything suspicious while watching outside? MATT: Watching outside, nothing caught your attention specifically This is out of the way, and it’s so strange, doesn’t seem like a lot of people tend to enjoy coming through just to check in on you TRAVIS: I put the mithral in the bag of holding and I throw the echo stone to Jester TALIESIN: Let’s double-check that this is enough mithral and then the right– TRAVIS: Sure TALIESIN: If we can just maybe keep it in the box and just have the box get hit, or I don’t know TRAVIS: After we let them get to the archive TALIESIN: Yeah, of course TRAVIS: Yes LAURA: That would suck if we had to hold up every single item one by one TALIESIN: Yeah TRAVIS: Breathe here, breathe here, breathe here (frost breath) (laughter) TALIESIN: Like licking stamps SAM: Before we leave, Ms. Ava, do you know what iceflex are and do you have any of it? MATT: “I haven’t the foggiest idea what that is “Sorry.” SAM: Can you check, can you check? MATT: “Sure.” She turns around and goes off SAM: Should we just kill the imps and steal everything? LAURA: I don’t think we should kill the imps TALIESIN: I think that would go very badly SAM: They’re little! MICA: I’ll have to kill you SAM: Oh, that’s right! TRAVIS: How can you forget– LAURA: Hey, imps! TRAVIS: — great security is right here LIAM: They’ve also just been listening to us have this entire conversation SAM: They can’t speak Common LAURA: They can! MICA: Then also if you kill them, then maybe she’ll kick me out of my house and then where am I supposed to go? LAURA: Did she give you your house? MICA: She’s the reason I have it, I did a lot of trading, it was a long story, and I kind of don’t want to be homeless, you guys TRAVIS: Good context, yes! Not stealing from her! MICA: Then once again, I’d have to kill you SAM: All right MICA: And you seem so nice TALIESIN: I assure you they can speak Common Right? LAURA: They can TRAVIS: We hate to die MATT: “Yes.” TALIESIN: Thank you LAURA: Yeah You guys are real cute SAM: They just know a couple of phrases– MARISHA: Not today SAM: Oh, see! LAURA: Yes, I am very cute! MATT: “No.” TRAVIS: Ava’s still in the back? SAM: Ava, did you find anything? MATT: Comes by a moment later “No iceflex, sorry, fresh out.” SAM and LAURA: All right TRAVIS: All right, thank you, we’ll be returning, hopefully with your item MATT: “Yes, please. I’d love that.” TALIESIN: Exciting MATT: “Ta-ta! Be careful.” TRAVIS: Did you see anything while we were inside? MARISHA: Uh, no Turns out people aren’t that interested or
they’re pretty normal How’d it go with you? LIAM: You sound slightly disappointed MARISHA: Ah, yeah SAM: We got some stuff MARISHA: I waited for 30 minutes and nothing happened TRAVIS: Yeah, we got a box of mithral and– LAURA: Ooh! MARISHA: Can I see? TRAVIS: It’s in the– oh, I have the Bag of Holding, Yes I take out the box There’s a teacup and a bunch of other fragments of shit MARISHA: That little soldier guy is cool TRAVIS: Yes MARISHA: Can I hold the soldier guy? LIAM: That is a game piece TRAVIS: Sure MICA: Mr. Coat Man, did you want to go see books? LIAM: Oh TRAVIS: ♪ Mr. Coat Man! ♪ LIAM: The answer to that is always yes MARISHA: My name is Beauregard, by the way MICA: Hi, Beauregard! MARISHA: Yeah, good to meet you MICA: Nice to meet you MARISHA: Don’t kill us LIAM: Let’s all– MICA: I won’t! Don’t be bad TALIESIN: And that’s Caleb Caleb, Coat Man LIAM: Thank you, Caleb “Coat Man” Widogast SAM: I’m Nott the Brave MICA: Nott the Brave And you’re Jester. You whispered it to me TALIESIN: Caduceus Pink Guy, apparently MICA: Can I call you Pinky? TALIESIN: Yeah MICA: Hi, Pinky TALIESIN: Hi TRAVIS: Caduceus Pink Eye? (laughter) MICA: So we have– LAURA: Caduceus plays with his poop! (laughter) MARISHA: The lead singer of a ska band Caduceus Pink Eye TALIESIN: No, too far, too far There’s a line on this table and you fucking crossed it MICA: Ska is the line? TALIESIN: Ska is, by gods, always the line SAM: He’s the drummer for Yasha and Orphans (laughter and groaning) LIAM: I cast Conjunctivitis (laughter) MATT: It’s a 6th-level spell. You’re not there yet TALIESIN: Too much of a day (laughter) MICA: So we have Fjord Green Man, Beauregard, Caleb Coat Man, Nott the Brave, Jester, and Pinky SAM: And Reani MICA: And Reani. That’s me SAM: Is Reani short for anything? MICA: Yeah, Reanminere LAURA: Oh, that’s beautiful! MICA: Thank you! SAM: Reanminere is beautiful! MICA: But it takes a lot of people a long time to learn that so it’s Reani ALL: Reanminere LAURA: That’s beautiful Have you ever heard of the Ruby of the Sea? MICA: Actually I have. I’ve met her once! LAURA: You have? MICA: Yeah! LAURA: That’s my mom! MICA: I love your mom! LAURA: I know, she’s so great, right? MICA: She’s so pretty LAURA: Oh my god, did you hear her perform? MICA: Yes LAURA: When were you there? MICA: When I was a kid, but I know I wasn’t supposed to be there, but I went and I wanted to visit your mom because I followed Landon because my dad wanted to go see her performance So I went behind and then I was like, whoa! She’s so pretty. I wanted to be her when I grew up LAURA: How old were you? MICA: I was five LAURA: Oh, that was before I was born probably MICA: Aww LIAM: I grab Beauregard by the shoulder and say, come on, we’re going to the archive MARISHA: Yes, thank you MATT: (laughs) Just the two of you? SAM: We’re all going MARISHA: We’re going to– LIAM: Catch up MARISHA: (laughs) LAURA: We go running after them being very noisy TRAVIS: We should go MATT: All right, you guys step ahead and with a little bit of guidance from Reani and your general streetwise awareness, you eventually find your way towards the Vellum Steeple, but you see– MARISHA: Hey, DM question? MATT: Yes? MARISHA: Okay, you mentioned before that this is primarily dwarven and elven in terms of population? MATT: Correct MARISHA: We’re out of Xhorhas, of Xhorhasian borders? MATT: Yes, you guys are outside of the elements of the war You are far north of the Empire TRAVIS: North and west, or just straight-up north? MATT: It’s more north of the Empire, and northwest of Xhorhas TRAVIS: Cool MARISHA: Okay SAM: Oh, northwest of Xhorhas, got it TRAVIS: All right MATT: Make everybody look TRAVIS: There’s a map, point with a finger SAM: Well, that’s just the whole– TALIESIN: Right there, right smack dab (tapping) TRAVIS: Ow! (laughter) LAURA: That was pretty stupid (laughter) TRAVIS: (cracking) TALIESIN: That was gross SAM: Off to the Steeple MATT: Indeed TALIESIN: Mm-hmm MATT: You come upon the grand, curving tower of blue marble that glitters as it ascends, blending into the rock above it The exterior of it seems to reveal the presence of very wide, cavernous halls on the inside You can see what looks to be, very limited color palette on stained glass that sits primarily between red and yellow to be complementary to the mostly blue structure itself The outside of it looks to have a colorless courtyard of bushes that have a gray tint, the leaves looking to be heavily textured This is a unique form of subterranean plant life that you haven’t really come across It’s a makeshift garden on the outside of an odd type of lightless plant life You saw elements of this, actually, underneath in the Shadowshire of Rosohna, usually used in less decorative and more an element of the subterranean planting process and farming as a separator to various fields
But here it’s given a slightly beautiful manicured presence on the exterior of the Steeple You can see the door is open There is curved archway and a very tall door, probably 10-foot to the top, and on the inside it’s warmly lit, kind of an orange– (phone chime) MATT: –and you hear a chime as you approach (laughter) MARISHA: Oh, they have a door chime TALIESIN: Oh good. Everybody needs one MATT: They have a lucky cat in there As you step and approach, you can see there are a few figures that walk out They look to be well-dressed noble folk You see a pair of elves, a male and female, walking arm-in-arm, watch you as you pass and continue out into the city and as you step inside, you can see a long, curved table with two individuals at the front You see a young, elven man in cream-colored robes with a sash of golden burgundy, that has a cool stitched pattern throughout it, and he is sitting there looking bored out of his fucking mind To the left of him, you can see a dwarf woman, middle aged or so, who has a very thick pair of spectacles on and is currently in the process of sketching or writing in a tome of some kind on the table As you step into the chamber, the bored elf gentleman, without even looking up, goes, “Can I help you?” LIAM: Yeah, good afternoon New to town and we have heard great things about the Archive, wanted to inquire as to the– MATT: “Are you here to meet with the Woodset Auditors?” LIAM: The Woodset Auditors? MATT: “You are not here to meet with the Woodset Auditors.” TALIESIN: They’re otters? LAURA: (laughs) MATT: “Otters would be interesting.” TALIESIN: Yeah MATT: “Can I help you?” He finally looks up and starts making eye contact LIAM: We hear you have some books Are they open to the public? Is there any method by which visitors to the city may peruse your shelves? MATT: “No “You can request a book “and it will be brought to you under supervision.” LIAM: Ja MATT: “But this is not an open library “This is a place of research.” LIAM: Understood MARISHA: I apologize. The thing is we’re here under a diplomatic mission I’m actually Beauregard Lionett with the Cobalt Soul MATT: Kind of reaches– brow ruffles “Cobalt Soul?” MARISHA: Yeah MATT: “You probably want to speak to– “what’s his name. Demid?” MARISHA: Yeah, I’m sure you have a representative here We didn’t have them throughout the Empire MATT: “They just occasionally wander through “I’ll look into it.” MARISHA: Check and see if he’s in LIAM: That’s the first time you said the last name out loud, right? MARISHA: Yes, it is TRAVIS: Yeah, I thought so MATT: He gets up and walks away The old woman’s still sitting there, just not paying any attention– MARISHA: Lionett MATT: –or giving two shits about your presence You wait for two minutes, three minutes LAURA: Hi MATT: “Right.” LAURA: Do you have any books about weasels? MATT: “Yes.” LAURA: Can I see one? MATT: “No.” LAURA: Do you have any books about the Traveler? MATT: “Don’t know what that is.” LAURA: What kind of a– anyway (laughter) SAM: Do you have any books about alchemy? MATT: “Yes.” LAURA: Can we see it? MATT: “Nope.” SAM: How can we see it? MATT: “Your representative is already on his way “to get you some person to speak to “You’ve already been helped “Leave me to my business.” LAURA: What is she doing? MATT: It’s a puzzle book She’s essentially doing– ALL: Sudoku? MATT: Like Sudoku, crossword puzzles LAURA: Amazing TALIESIN: Wow SAM: Do you come here, Reani, a lot? MICA: I do SAM: Do you have a card or something, a library card? MICA: Noticing this, how long have we been waiting? MATT: About four minutes MICA: Only four minutes? MATT: Four to five minutes TALIESIN: (groans) (laughter) LAURA: (groans) MICA: I’ll step up to the desk and be like: Um, excuse me, I know you’re busy with your puzzle book and I know that she had a really cool fancy last name, but the Ivae’ess has sent me, so we have to go see books now Is that cool? We have to go see books now MATT: “What kind of piece of– “What, what did you say?” MICA: The Ivae’ess has sent me, so we have to go see books now
Whatever they need MATT: “I’ll go fetch the Scribewarden. Hold on.” MICA: Thank you! Have a good day! SAM: What is that? TRAVIS: How are you executive platinum? What just happened? SAM: What is Ivae’ess? MICA: Oh so (inaudible whispering) SAM: Yeah yeah yeah LAURA: (whispering) Okay, what? MICA: Remember the time that I keep everybody safe? LAURA: Yeah MICA: So I do it as only animals, and I keep everybody safe, and they’ve of started calling me Ivae’ess and that means the Lightbringer or whatever and it’s kind of a cool legend around here LAURA: Are you a superhero? MICA: Kinda? SAM: What? MICA: Shh, nobody knows! SAM: But that’s– so this is your secret identity? MICA: Shh SAM: So Reani is your secret– MICA: Shh! SAM: (softly) So Reani’s really Ivae’ess? MICA: Yeah SAM: Do you change your personalities, your persona, do you– MICA: I change into a scorpion or a bear or a wolf or an eagle or a snake SAM: How do they know it’s you, then? LAURA: Because where else are there going to be animals around like that down here? SAM: Well, there’s animals MICA: It’s kind of rare to see animals with halos and gold eyes SAM: Ah LAURA: They haven’t caught on that you have a halo and gold eyes? MICA: No LAURA: They’re dumb (laughter) SAM: Wow MICA: It’s kind of fun, and I’ve been here for five years, and so people keep talking about it and sometimes there are drawings and stuff of me as an eagle. I’m like: Whoa, that’s me! But I can’t tell them that it’s me because then that’ll blow my cover and then people would come to kill me because lots of the crime families that I keep, you know, on the DL, they would want to kill me so– LIAM: So this is like another identity for yourself? MICA: Yeah, and if you tell anybody I’m going to have to kill you MARISHA: Ehh! LAURA: Oh-ho-ho! MATT: The door opens and you watch as the old dwarf woman returns and then sits down at the desk, followed by what you see is a very tall, pale-skinned elven woman with a platinum blonde pompadour, short in the back, but just billowing in the front LIAM: Rockabilly! MATT: These bright blue piercing eyes, you recognize as the Scribewarden, approaches “Hello, Reani “Word is that you’ve come on the request of the Ivae’ess?” MICA: Yeah MATT: And gives a wink MICA: (laughs) Uh-huh! MATT: You get the immediate sense that she’s not good with keeping that– (laughter) MATT: — secret identity TALIESIN: Is Reani Clark– everyone knows Clark Kent’s really Superman Everyone’s like, “Oh no! “Superman, you just showed up! “Where did Clark go?” (laughs) MATT: “So what can we do to help the Ivae’ess?” MICA: So he likes books She likes weasels, LAURA: (whispers) I do! MICA: And we need to find a dragon A white dragon MATT: “A white dragon?” MICA: Yeah MARISHA: Also if you do have a representative of the Cobalt Soul here, that would be cool, because I did mention that LIAM: But if you’re offering, we would love to peruse any books you have on the subject of mythical beasts or creatures of great repute or dunamancy or local legends or– MICA: And weasels! LAURA: Or Laughing Hands MATT: “One book at a time.” SAM: Let’s prioritize. Caleb? MATT: “What do you wish us to retrieve?” LIAM: Creatures of this realm TALIESIN: White dragons LIAM: Local legends that might talk of– SAM: White dragons LIAM: –beasts like, yeah, I think you’ve said it multiple times, I think she heard White dragons LAURA: White dragons TALIESIN: Yeah, white dragons MATT: “I’ll return with such a tome “The price is 10 gold per hour of research.” LAURA: And you can only look at one book at a time? SAM: Per person? MATT: “Multiple books, as one per individual, “of course each paying independently “We have to fund our research somehow “As you know, Reani.” SAM: Sure LIAM: Excellent, so if we are getting a couple books for a few of us to read, I will cover the costs Do you have anything also on more intricate forms of transmutative magic here? MATT: “I can certainly look “So who will be taking “the possible tome of transmutative magic?” LIAM: That will be for me MATT: “Right “Then who is taking the interest “in mythological creatures and folklore?” MARISHA: I’ll take that MATT: “All right, that’s two “Who else needs one?” TALIESIN: Anything have pictures in it, is mostly pictures? MATT: “There’s a lot of pictures “I’ll get you a picture book.” TALIESIN: All right With like, what’s on, books on– TRAVIS: I’ll take a book on deities, new and old, perhaps? TALIESIN: That’ll do MATT: “Very well “Pantheon’s would be probably pre-Calamity, is such a thing “Very well, anything else?” SAM: Yes, alchemical guide to making different chemistry mixtures and sticky things or puffy things or acid-y things? MATT: “All right, five books.” LIAM: And Jester, you were saying you wanted a book about ancient forms of the arcane, like the origin of magic in Exandria?
LAURA: (deadpan) That’s what I’ve been looking for my entire life MATT: “What is this, I’m sorry?” LAURA: Books on the ancient forms of arcane MATT: “Very well.” (laughter) TALIESIN: Do you have to roll damage for that? TRAVIS: (like Jester) My brain just fell out of my ear! MICA: I thought you said weasels LAURA: Ancient arcane weasels, specifically MATT: “I will do my best “And the Ivae’ess requests one.” MICA: A book of new poisons, please Anything poisonous plants, mixing poisons, creating poisons, killing people, anything like that MATT: “Interesting, very well.” MICA: Thank you! MATT: “It’ll be done.” MARISHA: What was your name? MATT: “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m Scribewarden Ressia Uvesic.” TRAVIS: Scribewarden? MATT: “Scribewarden, yes.” TRAVIS: Scribewarden MARISHA: Ressia– Ressia Uveh–? MATT: Ressia Uvesic MARISHA: Uvesic LIAM: Uva sick! MARISHA: Can I just walk and talk with you for a second as we go? MATT: “Well, no, I’m retrieving the books for you “You must stay here.” MARISHA: Can I walk and talk with you to the threshold of which then I will stay behind? MATT: “Certainly.” MARISHA: Thank you MATT: “All right, but you must pay in advance “That’s seven tomes. That’s 70 gold for the first hour “Repeating from thereon, “the continuation of your research–” MARISHA: You see, that’s what– I would like if we could just, just real quick MATT: “Right.” TALIESIN: We’re going to owe 100 gold before this is over MATT: She goes ahead and steps off to the side, joins you “So?” MARISHA: Yes, you may know Archivist Zeenoth from Cobalt Soul in Zadash MATT: “I’m familiar with the Cobalt Soul, yes “We do have one such representative “here on a research mission.” MARISHA: Okay, yeah That would be good if we could maybe connect with him And, if you know, the Cobalt Soul is always interested in sharing any type of information and having that free flow communication, so– MATT: “Of course, what have you for trade then?” MARISHA: Sure Sure Yeah I will pull What do I have for trade? TRAVIS: You’ve got some crossbows (laughter) MATT: “Look, I know there is free traded information “within your troop, your–” MARISHA: I have my Crick history book MATT: “–your faction. However, we are a legitimate business and there needs to be–” MARISHA: I pull out my history book MATT: Okay. You pull out a history book MARISHA: And Courting of the Crick, the smut MATT: Okay, just the general history book? What history book do you have? MARISHA: It was the one on the Kryn TRAVIS: The smutty one? MARISHA: No, I had two TRAVIS: Oh LAURA: Did we already read that whole book? The history book? MATT: Mm-hmm MARISHA: I did LAURA: Okay MATT: Yeah. Okay Thumbs through the history book “Interesting.” MARISHA: The second one’s really valuable, too You don’t have to look through it MATT: “Oh my.” MARISHA: Told you LAURA: (tongue clicking) MARISHA: She has a bit of anxiety MATT: “Terribly sorry “We’ll go ahead and consider this trade for two of the “research periods, so 50 gold for the first hour.” TRAVIS: Here’s 10 gold LAURA: Not bad, not bad SAM: Sure, 10 gold from me LAURA: Oh, yes, same, same, same, same, same Even though I’m probably just researching for Caleb TRAVIS: Here’s two more. That’s 40 Who’s got 10 gold for Scribewarden? LIAM: Oh, sorry I was looking through my things I will cover all of it if need be MARISHA: I’ll put forward 10 gold, too, and give me back the smut TRAVIS: We’re covered MARISHA: Thank you MATT: “I’ll return,” and she leaves, and as soon as she passes by, you can see the elven man who was originally here enters, giving a bow of respect towards the Scribewarden and behind, you see entering, looks to be a male gnome with a curly mop of red hair, blue eyes, and Cobalt Soul attire, familiar to you guys who have been by the archives in Zadash Comes in with himself, a pair of his own large, wide spectacles to match the dwarven woman who met you at the front and as he steps in, “Hello, sorry. I was called here for someone?” MARISHA: Yeah, that’s me MATT: “Right, right, I was in the middle of my research.” MARISHA: Cool You want to chat? MATT: “Certainly “Are you here as well studying the moons?” MARISHA: Absolutely MATT: “Are you a specialist?” MARISHA: I… am MATT: “Well, please tell me all about your mission here! “I’m curious.” LIAM: Me, too MARISHA: Him ,too MATT: “Right, all right. Who’re you both with?” MARISHA: I’m actually from the Cobalt Soul from Zadash MATT: “Oh, really?” MARISHA: Yeah MATT: “How interesting! “Are you as well?” MARISHA: Yeah MATT: “All right!”
Make a deception check (laughter) MARISHA: 24 MATT: “Wonderful! “Wonderful to meet others so far north here! “I felt a bit isolated for some time, “so it’s very exciting to meet other scholars.” LIAM: Lonely work MATT: “Oh very, very “So I’m primarily researching Ruidus, “the smaller of our moons.” MARISHA: Ruidus MATT: So you do know there are two moons of Exandria There’s Catha, which is the main moon, that’s the one that’s largely associated with the Moonweaver and the bright one that moves in the sky, and there’s Ruidus, there’s the secondary moon, which is a dull brown color, is much smaller and further and is mostly not visible throughout most of the day and usually only during certain points of night “So I’m hoping and working here with the Woodset Auditors “to see if there is some information “that may have been recovered from the ruins of Molaesmyr, “and so far it’s been a lot of false leads, “but I’m working on it anyway “What have you been looking for? “What is your process? “Please tell me anything!” MARISHA: What was your name, by the way? MATT: “Oh! God! Sorry! “Archivist Demid Sunlash.” LIAM: Sunlesh? MATT: “Sunlash.” LIAM: Sunlash MARISHA: Archivist Demid? MATT: “Demid, yes.” MARISHA: Demid Sunlash MATT: Raises his glasses a bit He’s tiny, like even for a gnome, he’s slightly hunching his shoulders and probably comes up to mid-thigh for you, Beauregard MARISHA: Okay MATT: He’s just looking up at both of you LIAM: You said your focus was on Ruidus? MATT: “Personally yes, “it’s the one we know the least about.” LIAM: We know a bit more about Catha MATT: “Understood, most do, “it’s mostly just folklore elements, “there’s not a lot of specific study on it these days “which is why I find it such a fascinating subject.” LIAM: What have you found so far? MATT: “It’s been a bit dry so far “Hoping “I mean, there’s the standard beliefs of various cultures “across Exandria of it being an entity of ill omen, “you know.” MRAISHA: Yeah, speaking of the ill omen thing, we’ve actually been trying to research the convalescence between the moon cycles and beasts and fiends that happen because maybe there’s a correlation Have you heard of anything? MATT: “It, I mean that is very possible “The moon cycles themselves are distinctly related to “various entities, whether it be bestial curses “or creatures themselves that are nocturnal, “you know, they come out by Catha’s light to hunt.” MARISHA: Demons? MATT: “Demons, now there is a lot of interesting “thoughts and ideas about Catha.” MARISHA: Yeah MATT: “Or about Ruidus “Ruidus itself, some are believed to have been “either a pre-creation, back when the elements themselves “were consuming all of Exandria, but others believe “may have not originally existed, “may have been a creation by the Betrayer Gods “and was some sort of long-running mysterious plot “that was cut short during the end of the Calamity “and when they were banished away “That’s what I’m certainly curious about.” MRAISHA: You think demons come from the moon? MATT: “I don’t. Some people do.” MARISHA: Okay. White dragons? Anything with that? LAURA: Those aren’t demons MARISHA: No, I know MATT: “Don’t follow, but anything, please.” MARISHA: Just it’s separate, you know, we’ve been getting pings and you know, what’s a demon, what’s a dragon, I don’t know, have you heard anything about a white dragon? MATT: “Very distinctly different creatures, “white dragons and demons “There are many varieties of both, actually.” MARISHA: No, I know! People are stupid, though Have you heard anything about a white dragon? LIAM: In the area specifically MATT: “I… no.” MRAISHA: Okay MATT: “I’ve just been here for about a year and a half “It’s not really going anywhere “Sorry “But if I hear anything, “I’ll send word to Zadash, don’t worry.” MARISHA: He doesn’t know anything about white dragons LIAM: But you can ask him more times MATT: “What about you? “What are your findings?” LIAM: Well, it’s illusory, really, it’s as you say, everything is shrouded in myth and legend, it’s mostly superstition Some people say it’s made of cheese MATT: “No, what, who?” MARISHA: People LIAM: People MARISHA: I said they’re dumb MATT: “Interesting, is there a particular culture “that believes this because, I mean–” LIAM: Yes, Whitestone MATT: “Whitestone?” LIAM: Part of the local myth and legend in Whitestone MATT: “Tal’Dorei is such an uncultured land “Interesting, I’ll make note of this and bring it back “I wonder how far that goes “All right, thank you for that nugget of information.” MARISHA: Question MATT: “Yes?” MARISHA: They’re being a little, by the books, no pun intended, about letting us view the archives? MATT: “Right, right, of course, “you have to respect the way they do their business.”
MARISHA: Oh, no, I absolutely do! MATT: “They wouldn’t let just anyone “peruse our libraries openly without interest!” MARISHA: Of course! But– MATT: “Ioun gives us free reign to spread the information “They don’t fall under this same form of religious interest “so they’re a little more protective “Understandably, too, because this place is very remote “and not involved in local politics “and does not want to be, you know, “a continuous drawer of elven information “that would be an unwanted attention towards it MARISHA: Do you think you could give us the hookup? Say something, maybe let us go in? Like, get a little look-see? MATT: “Um, I–” MARISHA: Plus one, plus two? You know, do a little research? LIAM: Fellow moon archivists MATT: “I’ll tell you what.” LIAM: Yes MATT: “What I can do “is show you my notes on Catha and Ruidus.” LIAM: Well, I’ll take what I can get MARISHA: Yeah yeah yeah, sure MATT: “Not now “Too many prying eyes and ears “But perhaps, “perhaps in the next two days, if interested, “you could go ahead and meet me, “let’s see, what would work here, “we could meet at “The Tumbled Tankards “Bit of a seedy place, “but I think no one’ll pay mind or interest “and I can tell you all about what I found “It’s not much, but it’s interesting!” LIAM: Tumble what now? MARISHA: Tankards TALIESIN: Basically the D&D equivalent of the Denny’s parking lot (laughter) MATT: You’re not wrong, no MICA: You don’t go there, you wind up there MATT: You wind up there LIAM: A CD shop? MARISHA: It’s a CD shop MATT: Yeah, it’s– MICA: I know the Denny’s parking lot all too well LIAM: Red Hot Chili Peppers, yeah! MATT: Unfortunately, the Dark Tower shop closed down a while back LIAM: Quit while we’re ahead, yeah? MARISHA: Okay, well, Caleb and I look, I look over his shoulder and quickly read his, no, he won’t let us read his notes right here MATT: “No no no “Not yet.” LAURA: We have to meet him in the Denny’s parking lot TALIESIN: We’ll go to Denny’s if you want a hookup, man MARISHA: Well, you know, I can’t guarantee that we won’t be busy I don’t know if we’re going to be available, but I’ll get back to you MATT: “Right, I’m usually here, so just ask for me.” MARISHA: Thanks MATT: “Of course “Thank you “If you find any additional information, “please do pass it along, “I’m kind of flapping in the wind here a bit.” MARISHA: Yeah MATT: “Oh, oh oh!” He turns and watches as the Scribewarden enters “I’ll (clears throat),” and heads on back to his research chambers MARISHA: Bye, Sunlash! LAURA: I always felt kind of sorry for Ruidus, you know? LIAM: Less noticed than its sister LAURA: Yeah, like it’s– MARISHA: It’s the ugly duckling LAURA: Big flashy sister, always trying to take all its attention LIAM: Little sister feeling practically invisible LAURA: Yeah TRAVIS: Are you talking about moons? MARISHA: Yeah SAM: They are TRAVIS: Okay MARISHA: My fucking contacts were for shit LIAM: We are a long way from home, Ms. Lionett. Lionett? SAM: We found some good books, though LIAM: We’ve been traveling together for a long time Take that long to drop a proper family name? MARISHA: You never asked LIAM: That’s true TRAVIS: Shit MATT: The Scribewarden returns and leads you all to an independent research chamber where there’s a large table that everyone’s able to sit at Under supervision of the Scribewarden, and is keeping track of how long you are reading, and making sure that no undue use of these tomes is carried on You’re given your respective books, and begin to research Interesting tidbits about different elements of nature that can be converted, whether they are poisonous to begin with, or certain processing can be made into a toxin Some of it’s information that you already know and some of it is information about places you’ve never been You learn about some other herbs that are indigenous to maybe south Xhorhas, some of the further south islands of the Menagerie Coast, some of it speaks of the Vesperwood that surrounds an area of Issylra, which is far far far west of here, and also some strange blooms that happen in the deserts of Marquet as well that have been known to have, essentially, induced coma-like effects You just take the information, very fascinating Now you were reading about arcane weasels SAM: Well, I think she was– (laughter) She slipped the book to him, I believe LAURA: Yeah, it was arcane origins and whatever the fuck LIAM: That’s the title, that’s the specific title LAURA: “Arcane Origins and Whatever the Fuck.” TALIESIN: Somehow got on the bestseller list (laughter) MATT: So you’re reading it? LAURA: Sure MATT: All right It is a fascinatingly deep, scholarly,
verbose dissertation on various theories on the origins of mythological creatures, some of them that believe that they stemmed from the breaking of the Elemental Planes when they once were just a mashed chaos across the surface of Exandria Some that believe they were born from dreams of the first beings that were given life by the pantheon There are some that believe that they were creations, magically through those that dabbled in arcane or divine based magic to suit their own needs and then lost control of them and thus they became part of the natural world as their own accord LAURA: Anything about blink dogs? MATT: Yeah, a thing about blink dogs Blink dogs believed to be fey in nature, believed to have originally began in the Feywild and then were brought in and partially domesticated here in Exandria due to their unique talents Spoke of the difficulty in breaking them, especially at a young age and how they tend to be a bull in a china shop You immediately like yeah, yeah, I know that LAURA: Any tidbits I would know about Nugget? MATT: You learn that preferred foods tend to be ground nuts made into a meal LAURA: Oh shit LIAM: You were way off LAURA: I was so far off MATT: For a healthy diet They’ll eat pretty much anything That is considered a core element as part of the fey life in which it originally stemmed from TRAVIS: Blinking causes a high metabolism MATT: You are looking for SAM: Just looking for things I can make with chemicals MATT: They’re a chemistry book that goes there that goes delves in alchemy, same thing, similar to what Reani was looking for, what a lot of you’ve already learned A few things here. There are some chemicals that aren’t widely distributed here in Wildemount because the materials aren’t present and you weren’t, you didn’t grow up in a heavy-trade city necessarily so other forms of chemicals that are used to dissolve certain minerals and elements, it’s interesting. Nothing that necessarily specifically triggers any interest, but I will say that you do, you do come to find some easier and better methods to refining the chemicals you already work with That may help reduce the cost of some of the alchemical components that you wish to purchase SAM: Cool MATT: You were looking at a book of? LIAM: It was higher, intricate levels of transmutative magic, I’m looking for things about transformation and permanence, not transitory, locking that change into place MATT: Okay Yeah, it’s a lot of arcane theories on the challenge of permanence when it comes to transmutative spellcraft How a creature’s natural form is intended and is stubborn against arcane nature However, there are also entities and creatures that they are born not in their natural form and have a life coming to discovering that transition into their natural form and that magic is actually easier and more accepted into that space The permanence element of it is challenging up until a certain level of magic Discussions of the temporary elements of Polymorph and the supposed idea that there is levels of Polymorph-based magic that can induce performance You pick up some tidbits and some interesting ideas and some things that start getting your mind running a bit It isn’t exactly what you’re looking for, LIAM: Yeah MATT: It’s helping just add more to the breadth of your understanding LIAM: Yeah, and is that the main focus of this book or does it touch on the nature of reality itself? MATT: No, it was primarily on the nature of material elements, you have the matter, and ore, and the attempts to transition those It goes into discussion of the Philosopher’s Stone and you wanted to make gold out of lead, and other material movements there, and the success it’s had, once again, temporary, elements that usually only helps in the process of deception and/or temporary use of materials LIAM: The elements, matter, and the manipulation of MATT: Correct LIAM: Those things Got it MATT: You had a book on TRAVIS: Deities MATT: The deities It is a discussion of the wide pantheon of Exandria It speaks loosely about the creation myth of the realm, it speaks of the tethered elements, on how these entities came to the planet and attempted to quell the elemental chaos that was roiling across the surface and the elemental titans that resided here before the pantheon came, managing to separate and disperse them to their separate elemental planes, and bring order, and the beginning of life to the planet
It goes into the eventual betraying, of what came to be known as Betrayer Gods, and the creation of other entities that were just born out of the malice that then began to find its way into the heart of those that were created in the life form of the initial pantheon It goes into the discussion about the Age of Arcanum in which the gods gave the gift of you know, first it was divine, through worship, the divine presence of magic, and then eventually the gift of the arcane Which as opposed to the lending of one’s essence for magic, it taught them to create magic from within themself and then became the rise of the, for lack of better term, the arrogance of certain mortal species and races as well as cultures that began to see themselves as now equal to or above the gods that created them which led into the Age of Arcanum You start going a little numb getting to this portion of the process Even then, the Age of Arcanum is a bit spotty A lot of the information is still lost with the Calamity and pieces of it are still being put together. A lot of it’s theories and a lot of it’s different people’s notes about it, until it continues into the Calamity There’ve been multiple times in which the gods have warred and a lot of terrible destruction’s been wrought, but the Calamity itself, at the end of the Age of Arcanum, was what was responsible for destroying most standing society Those that survived, either by going underground or escaping, managed to begin the seeds of the current age This was, you know, over 800 years ago TRAVIS: Fuuu– MATT: It speaks of the Divine Gate, it speaks of the banishing of the Betrayer Gods, the self-imposed banishment of the Prime Deities, the creation of the Divine Gate that separates any of them from transgressing onto the actual prime material plane of Exandria, and you finish. It takes you a few hours to finish this and when it does, your head just like (pulsing) TRAVIS: Yeah, that’s fair LIAM: Is that a lot to unpack, that one? TRAVIS: Yeah Yes, I feel like most of this is stuff that most, some of you already know but as an introduction, it’s a bitch LIAM: Give me the three-line pitch/summary, what are the good bits? TRAVIS: Yes, there were good gods and bad gods and they fought and there were ruined parts of the world and littler things were left in its wake and some were sealed away and some remained LIAM: Right, right, right TRAVIS: There were planes and alternate dimensions and– I might need to sleep tonight, actually, to process all of this LIAM: Are you finished with that one? TRAVIS: Yes, would you like to? LIAM: Yes TRAVIS: Please, have at it MATT: We’re now pushing into hour four of research, by the way, guys Every hour is an additional 10 gold per book that’s brought out and there are currently seven books checked out So we’re looking at right now– TRAVIS: Yeah MATT: A total of 200 and– Lowered by 20 gold as part of– so it’s only 50 gold per hour so you’re looking at about 200 gold cost TRAVIS: If there’s anyone still diving deep, I don’t want to interrupt, I’m tapped I can certainly go back to Umi and see if the mithral that we’ve gathered is enough TALIESIN: I’ll join you, if you’d like TRAVIS: I’ll meet you back on the outside of the archive, yes? MICA: I’ll come! TRAVIS: Great LIAM: I would like to stay, would you like to swing by and pick me up when you’re finished? TRAVIS: We’ll wait for you on the outside, I’m sure If for some reason you come out and we’re not they’re, we’ll be back at Umi’s, yes LIAM: Our lodgings LAURA: Are there any books about healing? MATT: There are books about healing LAURA: Healing spells and stuff? MATT: Oh yeah, that could definitely be brought LAURA: Okay MATT: Make a perception check for me LIAM: 18 MATT: 18 As you’re getting towards the end of your transmutation book, you notice that one of the pages, the ink is different from the rest of the book LIAM: And I would know if it was arcane in nature or– MATT: Roll an arcana check TRAVIS: Red ink LIAM: 23 MATT: 23 This page holds a very simple transmutative spell on it, usually used to conceal or contain something just beyond the boundaries of this reality It’s like stumbling upon a pocket on your jeans you didn’t know was there before LIAM: Oh jeez MATT: You are under supervision LIAM: Yeah LIAM: Um SAM: I’m still with you in the library LAURA: Yeah, so am I If you need a distraction LIAM: Where is everybody else at this time? MARISHA: We’re all still here SAM: Didn’t you guys step out? MARISHA: Unless they left MATT: You guys all stepped out TALIESIN: The three of us have left TALIESIN: All forms of vague moral authority have left the building
MATT: All right, so you two and the Fjord? TRAVIS: Guess there won’t be any killing MATT: The three of you guys are out? Or Beau, did you leave with them? MARISHA: I’m with them MATT: All right, so you guys left MARISHA: I still haven’t read my fiend book about local fiends because that’s what I was reading MATT: Sorry, that’s the next one Local fiends, like fiends specifically, or just creatures? LAURA: Like local legends MARISHA: Local legends, that’s what I was getting, yeah MATT: It discusses the idea that the Flotket Alps themselves are home to a number of various frost giant clans that live amongst and within parts of the mountain It speaks of wyvern nests in the peaks It speaks of terrible, large lizards that themselves are an embodiment of elemental ice It speaks on, it speaks of the known, the yeti and the terrible yeti that do sometimes peruse and supposedly themselves run from a larger, more elder yeti that has long haunted the folklore of the Flotket Alps TRAVIS: Fucking yetis?! SAM: Sasquatch! TRAVIS: Is that real? MATT: You do also find word of a cursed location to the far east, northeast of Uthodurn, known as Mythburrow It’s about 350 miles from here MARISHA: Ooh! TRAVIS: 350? MATT: 350 Along the southern end of the Alps Many speak of an ancient dragon of hoarfrost color and quaking roar that was thought to possibly nest there, now unseen in nearly a century This dragon’s name is Gelidon, the Nightmare in Ivory TRAVIS: Oh shit! LAURA: ♪ Gelidon, the Nightmare in Ivory. ♪ LIAM: Couldn’t his name just be Simon? MATT: Dragons are a bit particular about their titles LIAM: “Hello, I’m Simon! “I heard you had some teacups you’d like me to breathe on!” MARISHA: She’s in northeast? MATT: Like farther east and slightly northeast TRAVIS: Gelidon MICA: Can’t he be like– TALIESIN: The Nap in Teflon or something? MICA: The Dream in Feathered Pillows TRAVIS: We are here MARISHA: Ooh, fuck that’s far! SAM: We can teleport, we’re fine TRAVIS: No problem LAURA: Let’s go back We’ll use Essek to teleport us there Then done, and then he can just go home and then we’ll teleport with Caleb TRAVIS: You need a circle LAURA: Yeah! That’s why I’m saying we go back, we’ll get Essek, we go there, Caleb’s got a circle to go back LAURA: We don’t even know, we don’t even know, what if Reani can teleport us? LAURA: Reani, can you– SAM: She’s not with us anymore MATT: No, she’s not SAM: We’re the chaos crew is– LAURA: We’re just the chaos crew! MARISHA: So how are we stealing this fucking spell? TRAVIS: Is this just Beau reading this book? This is all in Beau’s head LIAM: You know what Nott and– MARISHA: Oh, I tell them what I found real quick, to the chaos crew SAM: That’s great! LAURA: Holy moly! MARISHA: Fucking Gilidon Gilidon or Gildon? MATT: Gelidon MARISHA: Gilidon MATT: Like G-E-L-I-D-O-N LIAM: No and– SAM: Yes? LIAM: I’m going to move onto this other book, but I think you would find this interesting This page especially is not your average Modern Literature This page (paper rustling) SAM: The thing that we do TALIESIN: Yeah! TRAVIS: It’s an old fucking– MARISHA: An oldie? TRAVIS: You’re breaking out the fucking Vaudeville?! SAM: Okay, okay, okay LAURA: Oh my god, what? SAM: Okay, okay, okay LAURA: What?! SAM: I understand what you’re telling me right now! LIAM: Are you sure? SAM: I think I do! MARISHA: Are we being watched? Are they watching this exchange? MATT: The Scribewarden is watching you all and, you know, is just keeping an eye LIAM: She looks a little manic, so I’m just going to turn away and start reading the book that Fjord was reading Just that page, give it a read SAM: Here, so you handed me this book, this book with the page– LIAM: It’s open with a page open SAM: Oh, okay! MATT: The book that you have SAM: Yeah? MATT: The Scribewarden comes up and removes it Like, the one you were reading previously SAM: Oh, because I’m only allowed one book at a time MATT: Correct It’s gathered into a pile on the table LAURA: What about healing books? Do you got a healing book? MATT: Goes ahead and summons one of the other workers here at the Vellum Steeple and eventually retrieves you one, talks of various, you know, these books aren’t instructional and healing magic is a difficult thing to teach, a lot of times it’s just an instinctual thing that comes through faith or is largely more applied to balms and more the creation of healing salves and potions and such,
but it’s interesting LAURA: Oh, okay SAM: I assume there’s some note paper around or anything for taking notes here or no? MATT: Yeah, you can ask for it You’re here to research, so you can take your notes but you can’t take the book with you SAM: I’m going to just write down a little note and I’ll pass it over to Jester and it says– MATT: Make a sleight of hand check SAM: Oh, okay, okay, sure MATT: Passing notes is still a very noticeable thing SAM: Sure 32 TALIESIN: Jesus fucking Christ! MATT: Yeah, you’re good at this SAM: The note says, I’m going to create a distraction While I do, rip this page out of this book and steal it LAURA: (clicks tongue) SAM: (clears throat) I have to go to the bathroom! Going to get up and start walking and then– oh shit, I don’t know! I’m going to turn around, draw my crossbow, and say: You know what this is for! And I’ll shoot Caleb (laughter) in his side– LIAM: I’ll turn SAM: — where he keeps the book MATT: Roll an attack roll (laughter) SAM: Not great, 17 LAURA: That’s probably for the best MATT: That definitely hits you Yeah, you don’t– (laughter) LAURA: As soon as– MATT: Even with Mage Armor, that hits you LAURA: — the Scribewarden’s eyes move, I’m going to make a move to take the paper MATT: Okay, well first off, TALIESIN: Oh no! Oh no! MATT: Go ahead and– MICA: I never should have left! MATT: Just roll an acrobatics check for me This is a mild skillful attempt to maneuver LAURA: But you knew it was coming MATT: Yeah, which is why I’m allowing this LIAM: Six MATT: Six, all right (laughter) It misses the book by about an inch LAURA: Oh no! MATT: (arrow firing) Go ahead and roll damage SAM: You need sneak attack? MATT: No LAURA: Oh SAM: Okay, that’s 12 points of damage MATT: So (arrow firing) SAM: I’ll pump in that Fury of the Small, though (laughter) MATT: You turn knowingly, and it’s like: Oh, that’s not how this goes! Your acting becomes very believable (laughter) LIAM: I clutch the book that I was reading and I just topple over to the ground clutching it to me and actually whimpering MATT: “What are you do- stop that immediately!” SAM: He knew! He betrayed me! MATT: Make a sleight of hand check LAURA: Okay MATT: I’ll say with the distraction with advantage LAURA: Ooh, that’s good! SAM: Thank god (gasping) LAURA: Natural 20! MATT: Really? (cheering) MATT: So what’s the total? LAURA: Oh man 28 MATT: 28 TALIESIN: Natural 20, holy– MICA: That was so lucky MATT: The page tears out and slips in the inside of your sleeve The Scribewarden is currently focused on the two of you and is like, “If you don’t place that down immediately, “we’ll have you arrested and thrown into prison!” SAM: He cheated on me! MARISHA: I tackle Nott SAM: Oh! Yeah MATT: “Good. Hold her down.” MARISHA: I’m sorry, Scribewarden! LAURA: We’ll leave, we’ll leave, we’re so sorry! MATT: Two other people come in and they start trying to figure our what’s happening LAURA: I get on the ground next to Caleb, I try to start healing him MATT: They reclaim all the books off the table, putting them in a pile “You all have to leave, pay, and then leave immediately.” SAM: He shouldn’t be cheating on his wife: Me! MATT: “You two “You two are banished from the Steeple.” LAURA: Oh! MATT: “Get them out.” LAURA: I… okay SAM: I’m sorry TALIESIN: For 90 days LAURA: Or just like a month maybe? MATT: “Until otherwise decided.” SAM: There’s a chance! MARISHA: I linger behind LAURA: I’m healing you! LIAM: Jester, Jester, pull this out! LAURA: Oh, shit! (laughter) LAURA: Nott, here you go SAM: Thank you! MATT: The side of the coat, there’s just like this, where the other bleeded, you know, blood-soaked parts that have dried on the coat from various battles, there’s this one growing TRAVIS: This leopard spot MATT: You all are escorted out of the Steeple immediately LIAM: I just got this coat! MATT: You do owe 250 gold for the time you spent in there MARISHA: I stay behind and I say: I am so sorry, you see, we’ve been through a lot and we’ve seen some terrible things MATT: “I’m sure, I don’t know how you do business “but here, as part of the Steeple, “we don’t fire weapons “in the middle of our research sessions.” MARISHA: Yes, yes, no, sometimes our business gets in the way of our personal life and you know, it is something we are all actively–
MATT: “Pay and please leave.” MARISHA: Absolutely, yeah I give 300 gold MATT: All right MARISHA: Just maybe that extra gold will help cleanse your memory of this moment MATT: “It’s certainly helping.” MARISHA: Man, why– fucking shit SAM: Are Fjord and the others out here or are they gone? MATT: They’re already, you guys are off to where? TALIESIN: We’re going back to– MICA: Umi’s house TALIESIN: Umi’s place MATT: As you are making your way to, towards the Smeltborne, Anvil of the Smeltborne, we’re going to go ahead and take a break ALL: Yay! MATT: We’ll be back here in just a few minutes to pick up where we left off We do have our Wyrmwood giveaway tonight, back in here Tonight we have the- ooh A favorite, return of the purpleheart dice tray The Scanlan special from Campaign 1 This will be going to one lucky winner in the chat, I’m so sorry about that, microphone I know. (creaking) LIAM: Use your words! MATT: I’m sure This will be going to one lucky winner in the chat The keyword tonight is snowfall One word, snowfall Enter it once in the chat room, more than once and you’ll get disqualified, and once again, US and Canada only excluding Quebec because of stupid laws We’ll be back here shortly to tell you who the winner is See you in a minute! LIAM and TALIESIN: Stupid laws ♪ You got the perfect warlock ♪ ♪ Her weapons and supplies ♪ ♪ But you need a place to track your stuff ♪ ♪ ‘Cause you’re so disorganized ♪ ♪ You click open the webpage ♪ ♪ You heard about on Critical Role ♪ ♪ And now you’re ready to kick some butt ♪ ♪ In a mineshaft full of gnolls ♪ ♪ It’s D&D ♪ ♪ D&D ♪ ♪ D&D Beyond ♪ ♪ Yeah, D&D ♪ ♪ D&D ♪ ♪ D&D Beyond ♪ ♪ You got your stats, you got your swords ♪ ♪ And you got your invisible wand ♪ ♪ It’s D&D ♪ ♪ D&D ♪ ♪ D&D ♪ ♪ D&D Beyond ♪ AMANDA: And that kind of validation, especially after being a fringe, maligned, weirdo, always other kind of kid, and then in a band that was was always like, we were the weird ones We were never cool We were the Dresden Dolls The Boston music scene hated us We were the gay mime band BRIAN: Mm-hmm AMANDA: We were never invited to the party BRIAN: Yeah AMANDA: Ever BRIAN: Yeah AMANDA: And we were, you know, we were a posse and we were like, fuck your party We have our own party A party where everything is allowed, everyone belongs We’re allowed to have feelings, fuck your system, fuck being cool, fuck your plaid shirts We’re not going to stare at our shoes We’re going to look at you and be like us doing this now, family, community, punk rock, here. Let’s do it Have a feather boa, here’s a drink, let’s do this shit (speakeasy music) BRIAN (V.O.): Last time on Talks Machina LAURA: I’m telling it like it is I don’t know which camera to look at BRIAN: Look at Greg SAM: I’m spilling the tea LAURA: I’m spilling the tea Travis, if you’re watching– BRIAN: He’s watching. He just Facetimed us earlier! LAURA: He might be putting Ronin to bed by now But, okay, so when we were deciding our characters– BRIAN: Hi, buddy! Hope your night’s going well, man (laughter) BRIAN: Miss you and the baby He’s so big! LAURA: He’s so cute! BRIAN: Anyway, you were saying LAURA: When we were making our characters, I– DANI: Oh my god LAURA: Oh god SAM: Hey! (laughter) DANI: It’s awful! SAM: Good night, Ro-ro! I love you! BRIAN: He’s going to have nightmares for the rest of his life LAURA: I hope Travis turned it off (laughter) LAURA: I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry! BRIAN: Lord have Mercer SAM: Is that true? BRIAN: Yeah, he owns the building SAM: I did not know that! BRIAN: He owns me He owns me SAM: Wow DANI: He owns you, Sam MATT: I have to go to his house and pick up his dry cleaning after this SAM: I would love to see Matt pissed off in general, but I would love to see him so pissed off because I’ve never seen it LAURA: I’ve seen Matt pissed off BRIAN: I have SAM: That he would come in here and be like, “Do you know who the fuck I am?” BRIAN: Oh wow SAM: “I own all of this shit! “I own that camera! “I own this fucking table! “Fuck you!” (laughter) BRIAN: Could you imagine, dude? Oh my god, that would be the fucking day LAURA: Has anybody ever seen Matt yelling? BRIAN: Matt’s been pissed at me before You do not want that LAURA: I’ve seen him angry, but I haven’t seen him yelling BRIAN: Travis has been pissed at me before. You do not want that SAM: Well, that’s– BRIAN: Liam has been pissed at me before But that one really bums you out BRIAN: Is Travis calling you?
LAURA: No BRIAN: I just texted him and asked him if he stole warlock from you LAURA: You did not! BRIAN: You said it on the air! You accused your husband of stealing the class that you wanted for this campaign! This is a fucking breaking news bulletin! Do we have some kind of graphic for when he texts me back, Zach? SAM: Do we have a breaking news? BRIAN: Can we afford some sort of– I have not– I don’t want to throw the crew into a– All right, in the meantime, Sam, while we wait for Travis to confirm SAM: I just learned– BRIAN: Breaking news SAM: I’m not Liam O’Brien I’m not going to hijack the Twitter LAURA: I trust Liam too, I don’t think he’s going to do that anymore TRAVIS: Breaking news, all caps “I was changing Ronin.” LAURA: Okay SAM: Where’s the graphic? BRIAN: “Yes, I stole warlock.” (laughter) BRIAN: Yes! (laughter) SAM: Did that have music with it or was it just a graphic? LAURA: It’s just That was amazing! BRIAN: Travis confirms– get ready, Zach Travis confirms he stole warlock (laughter) SAM: That just comes preloaded with the computer? BRIAN: I think so! Yeah, the Lenovo we’re running all this off of What time do you get up usually? You have kids SAM: Just like 6:45 BRIAN: Yeah SAM: I try to let them sleep as late as possible, so sometimes I dress them while they’re still in their beds in the morning, just so they can lie down just for a couple extra minutes LAURA: What, that’s the cutest SAM: I puT ON their little pants and their little shirts and stuff and while they’re still under the blankies LAURA: What? SAM: Yeah BRIAN: Until I was 17 years old, every single morning at 5:00AM, my mom would dump a cup of ice-cold water on my face to wake me up SAM: That’s not true BRIAN: Look how I turned out Does it seem like that’s true or not? SAM: It kind of does LAURA: I honestly don’t know BRIAN: That’s the mystery That’s the mystery LAURA: My mom woke me up with a water gun if I would sleep in BRIAN: No way LAURA: Yeah, she would come in with a Super Soaker SAM: You know what I call that? LAURA: Hm? SAM: Breaking News (laughter) BRIAN: Zach? LAURA: He’s like shit, I’m not! SAM: He’s like, oh fuck! (stammering) (laughter) BRIAN: Oh fuck! That was worth it That was worth it BRIAN: Scoot over a little bit, scoot over a little bit Come on, Henry Come on, Bubbas. Come on Here you go LAURA: Come on up! BRIAN: There you go SAM: Oh, a third guest. That’s nice LAURA: Oh, he’s going to fart on me, isn’t he? BRIAN: No There we go Yeah, good boy LAURA: Thanks, Henry BRIAN: Do you want to ask a question? (laughter) LAURA: I love him BRIAN: He loves it up there Huh, you like to be with your auntie BRIAN: I’m looking at this picture of Ronin that Travis– LAURA: Travis sent you a picture of Ronin? BRIAN: Yeah, here you go, here you go LAURA: He didn’t send it to me! SAM: Laura is pure harp music. I would do anything for her LAURA: Look at the baby! SAM: Man BRIAN: What a sweetie SAM: Oh, wait, is that breaking news? BRIAN: I think it was Zach? (laughter) BRIAN: Zach, I’m going to need to see some of the other ones that you have for future episodes of this show I think we’re onto something (laughter) SAM: Third down conversion! (laughter) SAM: Fourth attempt! BRIAN: It’s only football stuff TRAVIS: (southern accent) Last time on Yee-Haw Game Ranch BRIAN: Travis, holy shit, what the fuck is going on? Where the fuck are we, dude? LIAM: ♪ Welcome to the jungle! ♪ ♪ We got fun and games! ♪ ♪ Sha la la la la la le! ♪ BRIAN: What, it’s Tet’nus Terry! What the hell’s going on? What is this place, Tet’nus? LIAM: I warped you boys here to get you away from Bast’Alar! BRIAN: Oh man, my head’s fucking killing me, I can’t remember shit LIAM: That’s because I put you to sleep, you ignorant, disgusting waste of blood salve BRIAN: Jesus TRAVIS: (laughs) BRIAN: Jesus Bast’Alar came out of nowhere and had a creature thing called Specimen.exe TRAVIS: Yeah BRIAN: And decapitated poor T.N.Tina! LIAM: That he did, you disowned Olsen twin TRAVIS: (laughs) LIAM: And this is just the beginning I used a little bit of extra game soul energy to warp you slack jaws here to the jungle ranch! BRIAN: Out of all the game realms, why did you take us here? This is lame compared to some of these others We got Neo Game Land– LIAM: I ain’t going to hear any lip about where you wanted to go Now listen up! Bast’Alar has made a pact with Void Tech Industries This ain’t good for our endeavors, boys BRIAN: What the hell is Void Tech Industries? LIAM: All right, long before the great rift shatter, an evil corporation existed named Void Tech Industries
They were the first mega-corp to rival the power of the gods! It’s believed they gained access to some ancient eldritch cyber-technology that put them ahead of all the other corps! And now that Bast’Alar is in cahoots with them, his power is sure to be even more unfathomable! (babbling) That’s why you boys need to keep playing games and continue to charge up the game souls If we don’t move fast, boys, we may all be in grave danger so pick up your sticks and let’s ride, boys! Sha la la le le le! BRIAN: I’m not slow. I’m going as fast as this motorcycle will let me, but I got a bunch of freaking LA West Side drivers on my ass here Hold on a second Now– TRAVIS: It was so pretty! BRIAN: I was about to turn the corner and– TRAVIS: Show me the replay! Oh my god! BRIAN: We don’t have instant replay TRAVIS: I incorporated a barrel roll. Oh man It’s time to bust the tower BRIAN: I’m going to go see about a cheeseburger TRAVIS: Look at this. I don’t even have a helmet, that’s how much I don’t care about this scenario I’m so devil-may-care right now I have girlfriends in every city because I have dope-ass hair and I can rock on a dirt bike With camo pants Oh Jesus, that was a terrible slip (laughs) Couldn’t take the spotlight! BRIAN: I got a little too low. I got a little too low TRAVIS: Where are you? BRIAN: Where are you? TRAVIS: Over here (gunshots) BRIAN: No! TRAVIS: (laughs) BRIAN: See, that’s not the objective TRAVIS: The objective– BRIAN: I was checking on a little old lady who had fallen off of her dirt bike TRAVIS: I haven’t seen anybody else on this map so I’m wondering how that’s possible (explosion) (gasp) (explosion) (explosion) (rapid beeping) (explosion) (explosion) TRAVIS: Oh! (explosions) (screaming) (laughter) BRIAN: That’s so stupid So stupid (laughter) TRAVIS: Easily the best part of the game BRIAN: I was almost out of rockets Should we end it there? TRAVIS: I mean, I don’t know how it would get any better BRIAN: Yeah, we should probably LIAM: Subscribe or don’t subscribe That’s not a question Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to ponder the prose and more prose of Twitch or Twitch Prime or to take hands and gift new subs to Critters who find they can’t afford them To play To sleep No more And by a sleep to say the cast and crew of Crit’cal Role might find their naps around the hectic schedule of a live broadcast that we have brought for your consumption, both Critter and fan alike To play or sleep No sleep, but just to stream Ay, there’s the rub For with your subscription, what streams may come Oh man oh man oh man, that is a fucking tag line Do we got that? Oh That is Twitch poetry (grunts) Oh, anyway, subscribe to Critical Role Use Twitch Prime to subscribe Gift some subscriptions You… you got it (epic music) MATT: And welcome back
Before we jump in,
we do have the winner of the Wyrmwood giveaway,
of our fantastic Purple Heart dice tray The winner is AshenArt AshenArt, congratulations. We’ll get that sent to you ASAP SAM: Sometimes I AshenArt my pants MATT: Sam, we don’t need to know that SAM: Okay MARISHA: I can’t– I don’t know what to do! LIAM: Are we going after the white dragon or the fucking fly? MICA: Fly. Kill it MARISHA: Priorities MATT: Either way, so As you guys exit the Steeple, and make your way to find the rest of your party, the rest of you have gone to go ahead and meet up with Umagorn Heading back towards the Anvil of Smeltborne outside of Moradin’s Mantle Temple, you come back to the, to you, very familiar doors and the rest of you pseudo-familiar doors, where you find both Deilin and Umagorn are not currently at the anvil but instead are sitting and eating It looks to be a spread of cured meats and some bread Very simple, just hearty foods for a hard day’s work, It’s still that same warm interior and there’s still sweat across Umagorn’s brow As you’re sitting there eating, Umagorn’s talking, Deilin’s nodding and signing back, and as you guys enter the main chamber doors, they both stop and turn and look and Deilin waves a bit and Umagorn goes, “Okay, you’re back “Have we lost everyone already?” TRAVIS: No, we’re obviously trying to work on a little bit of an expedited schedule We managed to stop by Ava’s place and pick up some mithral MATT: Oh, you got some mithral. That’s nice TRAVIS: Yeah, we took whatever she had I’ll take the box out of the Bag of Holding, hold it up and, trinkets, it looks like I don’t know if perhaps we could smelt it down into one piece that we could then try to– MATT: “I can certainly try. Let me see it.” Sets it down Takes in the trinkets “Hopefully it’s enough “Give me just a second. Let me try this “Deilin, if you go ahead and bring the spark box for me.” She nods and slips over and you can see behind where the forge is and there’s the little desk area that he has She rummages through a little side corner and, “Pardon me.” (laughs) Pulls a box out and brings it over Umagorn goes ahead and grabs almost like a bowl or a pot that’s on a long metal handle and begins placing these various knickknacks and cups and everything inside of it and you hear (ringing) just piling up on the inside until they’re almost towards– about to fall out Goes ahead and motions over to Deilin Deilin opens the box and pulls out these little bits of tinder crystal almost. multi-colored, and she scatters them across the fire of the forge The forge flares up brighter in almost a multi-color flare He immediately takes and turns and puts it over in the fire and the heat in the room almost doubles It’s like, yeah, so they take a few steps back
It becomes almost unbearable As he holds it there in the flames themself stoked by whatever material that Deilin threw into it, you watch as they slowly begin to soften and fold into this pot Eventually, pulling it out after it seems to melt into a molten metal form He gives a nod to Deilin “Uh, bring over the ingot mold.” She brings over and sets down this piece of dark metal that has grooves in it and a central piece where a rectangular recess is placed within it He turns it and begins pouring it into the edges and as it merges down and begins to fill, you see now the liquid mithral fill up to just about where it reaches the top of this mold He turns it back and looks inside “Oh. You’ve actually got some extra, it looks like “You did good “Go ahead and give me that mold there.” And Deilin passes over and he pours the rest into the smaller mold He says, “Well, I’ll set that aside for the time be, but…” He sets down the pot, takes the mold, but with a pair of tongs, and then sets it carefully into a trough of water that (hisses) steams around the materials before bringing it up, turning over and banging the mold across the edge of the forge until suddenly, (ringing) this bar of solid mithral there sits before you He goes, “(sighs) “This is going to be warm in here for a bit “Let’s step outside, but “looks like you got enough maybe to work with. That’s good “Good running.” He goes ahead and takes the tongs, takes the bar, and you all step out, just outside of the forge He’s looking over “This, a few imperfections, “but those can be hammered out “This’ll do. This’ll do “Hopefully “The hard part’s up to you.” TRAVIS: Ideally, we would take this entire piece and cover it in iceflex from a white dragon MATT: “Supposedly.” TRAVIS: Right Okay, no problem there MATT: “Hold on a second.” He hands you– at the end of the tongs, the bar, and you’re a little reticent at first, afraid that maybe it’s still hot, but it’s cold to your touch and it’s lighter than you anticipated For it being a solid metal, mithral, is known for, not only its strength but it’s very, very lightweight compared with other materials so it’s surprising when the heft is placed in your palm He steps out, comes back with that same notebook that he had previously, that outlined the process in which he was refining the blade and then looks up and goes, “Well, it says here for iceflex, “there’s actual change in hue to the metal “That’s when you’ll know “I don’t know what that means, “but I guess you got to keep an eye.” TRAVIS: Right Is there any sense to attaching this to the front of a shield or something that might be in the direct path of dragon’s breath? MATT: “That sounds a lot safer than “maybe holding it up with your hand.” TRAVIS: Yeah TALIESIN: Huh TRAVIS: I do have a shield. It’s rather plain MATT: “I mean, preferably, however you get this done, “you’re not anywhere near the bar when this happens.” TRAVIS: If only that were true Yes, I’m sure we’ll come up with something Any ideas? MATT: “I hope so.” TALIESIN: Definitely will It’s just a matter of getting there and getting back MATT: “Don’t be foolish “Where are you going, did you figure out–?” TRAVIS: Yes, actually– Nope, nope, we don’t– we don’t know that info. We were not in there (laughter) TRAVIS: That was after we left I’m sure our comrades have come up with something MATT: “Right “Good luck “Just be smart “Dragons are “…kind of feared historically for a reason.” TALIESIN: Really? MATT: “Are you going with these yahoos?” MICA: Uh-huh MATT: “Really?” MICA: Uh-huh! Come on, it’s a white dragon MATT: “I know that.” MICA: Yeah! I won’t die, I promise, and I’ll make sure that they won’t die, probably, and I’m going to come back and am going to give you a scale of a dragon and you can hang it up and it’s going to be a cool keepsake, okay? Promise MATT: It’s not the first time you’ve made that promise.” MICA: Have I died yet? MATT: “No, but you’ve come back pretty bruised and beaten.” MICA: But have I died? MATT: “Not yet, but each time you’re pushing your luck “Look “You know how many strange travelers, mercenaries, “make their way across this place looking to find glory “and they’re never seen again
“Just don’t be one of them, please.” MICA: It’s not glory. It’s a dragon I’ll be fine TRAVIS: Does Umi know about your– MATT: “Umagorn.” MICA: Umi TRAVIS: Oh, yes MATT: “Only she calls me–” TRAVIS: I apologize, my fault My mistake, sorry Does he know about your secret? MICA: Yeah, he’s one of the first people I told Well, not told, I messed up He caught me changing back But that was a while ago, it’s fine now He knows MATT: “They know about Ivae’ess?” MICA: Yeah MATT: “You got to stop telling people about this!” MICA: Well, they seem nice! MATT: “It’s not a good secret to keep you safe if you’re not keeping it a secret.” MICA: They’re not going to– If they tell, I’ll kill them See MATT: “We got to talk about that, too “You’ve got a very hard line here “It’s going to put you in trouble.” TRAVIS: Fatal threats and revealing secrets in the first day. It’s a lot TALIESIN: I think it’s a refreshing change of pace MICA: What if I bring you back two dragon scales? MATT: “I mean if you’re going for it, bring me back many, “but only if it’s easy and it’s dead “Otherwise, don’t “And by the way, don’t kill it “Don’t try to kill it “It’s a fucking dragon.” MICA: But what if I want to kill it? What if Samliel tells me to kill it? Then can I kill it? I’m going to take that as a yes MATT: “No “No, don’t take that as a yes “That was just me exhibiting my frustration “That wasn’t an answer “That was a form of social expression.” MICA: Which I’ll take as a yes MATT: (frustrated groan) TRAVIS: We will keep her safe, as neither of us wish to die in this endeavor MATT: “Right.” MICA: They get it! MATT: “Look at that.” TRAVIS: We should be returning to our friends Thank you for your help We’ll be back, hopefully sooner rather than later MATT: “All right, I’ll be here finishing my orders “Be careful.” MICA: Bye, Umi! MATT: “Bye, Reani.” TRAVIS: Did we say were going to try to meet them at our lodgings or outside of the archive? TALIESIN: We were very unspecific about where we were going to meet MATT: They also followed about a half an hour after, so we’ll say for the purposes of ease, eventually stumbling around, you manage to cross paths Plus they have Sending in their disposal, so it wouldn’t be too hard Eventually you guys do meet up once more TRAVIS: We have a new single bar of mithral MARISHA: And we have information on a dragon TRAVIS: You do? MARISHA: Gelidon He’s– fucking far TRAVIS: Oh LAURA: Is 100 year-old dragon an old dragon or is it a new dragon. What do you guys think? MARISHA: I would know that based on reading MATT: From what you read, it said that he hadn’t been seen in 100 years LIAM: Seen in 100– he’s way older Probably LAURA: I mean, maybe SAM: He’s at least 101 (laughter) MARISHA: Did I get any information on how long this myth has been around? MATT: The myth has been around for maybe close to two to 250 years MARISHA: 250 or something Oh! MATT: Almost! Curse the spiritual weapon! LIAM: This is the show SAM: It’s just going from cup to cup LAURA: Wait, wait! Clap above it! You have to clap above it I learned it from Steve Carell Clap above it, clap above it TRAVIS: Yeah yeah, where it’s going to go LIAM: Boom! LAURA: He was so close. He was so close! MARISHA: What do you mean clap above it? LAURA: Clap above where it goes Get it, baby (clap) (cheering) MARISHA: Amazing! MICA: That was amazing! TALIESIN: Let the bread and circuses commence! (laughter) MATT: We can just end the game there tonight, guys We’re not getting any better than that LIAM: That dragon ain’t shit! (laughter) MATT: After an obnoxiously long period of time of being harried by some sort of subterranean insect, Fjord snatches it from the air just as the rest of the party catches up TRAVIS: Should have lost my powers years ago! (laughter) TRAVIS: That is incredible! LIAM: All your other senses are heightening (laughter) TRAVIS: Beau, did you see? I think you should teach me some shit, I’m just saying MARISHA: Who are you talking– LAURA: We just caught up SAM: Hey, so LIAM: How far away are we talking about? SAM: 350 miles! MICA: That’s just a slight trek up the hill That’s fine, we can do it SAM: Can you transport long distances? MICA: No, I can walk SAM: Oh TRAVIS: Right Yes MATT: So 350 miles, looking at the map that you have, and there’s a few options here LIAM: Hold it up high, Travis MICA: Hit him in the face. Hit him in the face! MATT: All right, so– MARISHA: I can feel your twitchiness I can feel it MICA: Hit him in the chest! LAURA: Don’t do it! MATT: On foot, through the mountains, you’re looking at 18 days of travel LAURA: What? MATT: However, on goatback–
SAM: Goatback? MATT: Because you see goats, on the way in These very very large goats SAM: Goatback Mountain MATT: That’s a whole different campaign That’s 12 days SAM: That’s still a fuck ton of days MATT: If you go through the Rime Plains, which is underneath the mountains, you’re looking at 15 days of foot travel, 10 days on horseback LAURA: Okay Are there horses here? MATT: They do have some Wildemount horses as well LAURA: Man, I wish we had our moorbounders, you guys MATT: The downside of the Rime Plains is it’s– you’re in open plains so you’re much more visible as opposed to mountain travel, so the choice is yours SAM: Or, I’m just throwing this out there, Reani, how would you feel about doing that much-easier-to-handle caper that’s in town where we go and get the red ring back from the Tumblecarves or whatever their names were? LAURA: No, we need to kill a dragon SAM: I know, but that’s like a month-long ordeal LAURA: No, it doesn’t have to be. You guys! SAM: Let Reani answer my question Is that evil or good? Stealing back a ring that was illegally taken? MICA: Samliel hasn’t gotten back to me on that one SAM: We got to sleep MICA: But I know I have to see a dragon SAM: Even if it takes us two months? LAURA: This is what I’m saying, it won’t TALIESIN: That’s a long– yeah LAURA: Why aren’t you listening to my idea? SAM: What’s your idea? LAURA: Caleb– LIAM: Yeah? LAURA: You take us all home to Xhorhas We talk to Essek He transports us to the mountain We kill a dragon And you can use your circle and take us back to Xhorhas when we need to go TRAVIS: But we need to come back here LAURA: Well, then we talk to Essek and he bamfs us back here TALIESIN: A lot of bamfing TRAVIS: Involves a lot of Essek TALIESIN: Is it possible there’s already a circle where we’re going? Could we talk to someone? MARISHA: There might also be a circle here There’s got to be a circle here LAURA: There’s got to be a circle here. There’s elves here MARISHA: It’s just who, and who doesn’t hate us yet LAURA: I could send a message to Essek and see if he would do it TRAVIS: Plus the archive I’m sure is friendly, we’ve left that in good– LAURA: Ooh– MICA: Oh– SAM: Chaos crew kind fucked that up LAURA: Yes, Reani? MICA: Hello? LIAM: Reani MICA: Did somebody say you need an elf that doesn’t hate you? SAM: Yes LAURA: Somebody that’s powerfully magical MICA: Oh no, nevermind, then SAM: What were you going to say? MICA: I just know a nice elf SAM: Who’s that? MICA: She works for the Glassblades and we could visit her and ask LAURA: Ooh, the Glassblades They might have access to something SAM: Yeah MICA: You said elf SAM: Yeah Yeah, we could MICA: Why do we need elves? TALIESIN: Well, they tend to– LAURA: Be very magical TALIESIN: –have access to maybe intricate magics, especially teleportation spells MARISHA: Yeah, we were basically totally being biased on the former stereotypes that we’ve known MICA: That’s valid MARISHA: Yeah MICA: Okay SAM: We could use your magical paint and make a hot air balloon TALIESIN: That’s a lot of paint LAURA: That is a lot of paint, but I think I might have enough for it MATT: It would use most of your paint, but it’s possible LAURA: All of the paint And then we could get shot down pretty easy TRAVIS: Also, do you have any experience piloting a hot air balloon? SAM: Nope, never seen or heard of one (laughter) TRAVIS: I was wondering (laughter) TALIESIN: Just throwing a bunch of words together MARISHA: Wait, Nott, did you just invent the hot air balloon? SAM: Canon LIAM: Canon (laughter) SAM: It just seems like hot air trapped in some sort of container could rise up and be able to– TALIESIN: Why? It’s just thermodynamics TALIESIN: I don’t– what? The– SAM: Hot air wants to rise TALIESIN: Does it? TRAVIS: There’s dunamancy and then there’s thermodynamics MARISHA: Somewhere, Percy is having a nosebleed TALIESIN: I know TRAVIS: We should certainly explore the Glassblade option In any case, there is someone that has– TALIESIN: What an exciting opportunity to make more friends and/or enemies MARISHA: Yeah TALIESIN: Yeah MARISHA: Schrodinger’s friend TALIESIN: Yeah MARISHA: Something else I invented! The philosopher TALIESIN: He’s the guy who invented cheese on the moon LIAM: Beauregard Schrodinger Lionett SAM: All right, let’s go see your Glassblade MARISHA: Canon SAM: What’s his or her name? MICA: Her name is Fen SAM: Fen is a cool name TALIESIN: The Glassblade MICA: Yeah TRAVIS: How far is she from where we are? MATT: She lives in the Glassblade Kaserne, which is right by the entrance to the city TALIESIN: All right LAURA: Oh good, that’s close to our hotel MICA: Oh, that’s nice Did you guys leave anything in your hotel that we may need to get?
SAM: No TRAVIS: We seem to travel very lightly LIAM: Your idea is a good one LAURA: Thank you, Caleb LIAM: We should see this Fen and then pivot to that LAURA: Okay I can send a message to Essek and see if he’d be down to help us SAM: Oh yeah, that’s a good idea Do you want to try that first or after Fen? LAURA: We can talk to Fen SAM: Okay, let’s go talk to Fen MICA: And at the very least, they have horses Or goats or things we can ride and then that’ll help and we don’t have to walk MARISHA: Goats are cool LAURA: Also riding a goat could be really fun MARISHA: Yep, they got square eyes MICA: But they smell really bad LAURA: No MICA: Yeah TALIESIN: I like the way they smell MATT: Strangely, Caduceus smells not entirely dissimilar to some of the goats TALIESIN: I have been told that (laughter) TRAVIS: “I’ve been told that.” “You smell like a goat.” “Yeah, I know it.” MATT: All right, do you guys wish to head to the Kaserne then? SAM: Sure MATT: All right You remember seeing elements of this when you first arrived You didn’t take too much to stock in the barracks because you were instead focused more on this entire city opening before you after you descended the large pit While returning back through the Volition Disk, to the entrance of the city, you come to the base of the spiral stairs that lead up and out of the city of Uthodurn under the mountains And there, to the back of where this pit and these descending staircases are, you see the three separate chambers that lead to the Glassblade Kaserne which is a number of embedded housing, training, and storage areas for the Glassblades and all the various elements of main military protection that the city itself provides to defend itself and to house some of the rangers and other ones that keep the exterior elements of the city safe You already know where to go There isn’t– you do have an actual guide to the city here which helps a lot more of your wandering fuckery that usually a new town entails A few questions are asked as some of the other Glassblades see your unfamiliar companions and are just asking for confirmation, but they trust you You’re not going going to any sort of weird, secret place, you’re just trying to find out where Fen exists Heading over to Fen’s portion of the barracks, you find she’s in the process of working with a small troop practicing archery in this long chamber, and you watch as one after one, they’re taking arrows out, nocking them, and firing for target practice One of the Glassblades that sees you approach goes like, “(clears throat) “Fen? “Fen, you got company.” And Fen turns and looks back (Fen) “Huh.” Puts the bow away, throws it over the shoulder, comes up and smiles and gives you a hug “Reani.” MICA: Hi SAM: Aww MICA: So, um– MATT: “I know that face, you look concerned “What’s on your mind, girl?” MICA: Don’t be mad We need to find a dragon MATT: Pulls the hood back, and you can see now this young elf with pale skin, almond-shaped eyes, bright blue irises, dark hair hair that is tucked behind the ears and just tumbles outside of the hood as she pulls it back, a little more flops behind MICA: We need to kill the dragon But first we need to get the dragon to blow on a piece of mithral and I promised them I’d take them and get them back safe MATT: “You’re not doing this.” MICA: I’m gonna MATT: “You’re not doing this.” MICA: This isn’t a question MATT: “We’re not going through this again.” MICA: I’m just telling you what’s happening And we need some sort of magic that they said the elves know and you’re an elf that I know So you’re going to give us the information and I’m going to go free without a lecture, right? MATT: “I’m not going to help you run off to your death, don’t be stupid.” MICA: I’m not going to run off to my death, I’m going to be fine I have a bunch of people with me This dude’s huge, and he’s fine and we– MATT: “How many came back with you from the Savalirwood, huh?” MICA: One, but that’s not the point! MATT: “That is the point, that’s exactly the point!” MICA: That’s not the point, I’ll be fine! I came here because I knew you’d help So let’s just skip over this and you’re going to give me the information and we’re going to go, okay? MATT: “There’s no way of stopping you?” MICA: You know me well enough to know that there isn’t MATT: “Why do you have to kill the dragon?” MICA: I don’t know if I have to kill it but Samliel told me I have to see it I have to go there, I have to know what I have to do, I can’t– I’m not– I’m not doing this with you right now Please MATT: “(sighs) She looks over at the rest of you
MARISHA: I avert my gaze TALIESIN: I don’t SAM: We’re very dependable We won’t let her die LAURA: We didn’t tell her she had to find the white dragon She just really wants to find one too TRAVIS: It’s for a very noble and good cause LAURA: Also, we’re pretty strong, and she seems pretty strong so– MATT: Both of you make persuasion checks LAURA: 13 TRAVIS: 17 SAM: Okay LIAM: Fjord tough MATT: “And what do you want from me? “Again?” MICA: I– they need to know something about a circle or– LAURA: Yeah yeah yeah yeah MICA: I don’t know, I just, they said an elf might know and– LIAM: A teleportation circle. This is a large city, we thought perhaps there would be a means of transportation here MATT: “Probably.” LIAM: Probably but you do not know– MATT: “I’m a grunt, I– “I’m more comfortable up top side than in this city half the time, “I don’t know much in the ways of magic “I know you assumed but–” MICA: Do you know someone that would know? Please? MATT: “I mean, your best bet’s probably with where they keep most of the arcane knowledge, which is the Steeple LAURA: Ooh MARISHA: (chuckles) TRAVIS: Fuck SAM: Only we were banned TALIESIN: Beyond that, is there any fast travel west that’s safer and more– contained, we can make this journey that are our chances of all coming back in one piece MATT: “Where are you looking to go?” TALIESIN: You’ve got the– MICA: You’ve got the map TRAVIS: It’s called Mythburrow SAM: Mythburrow, 350 miles northwest? MATT: “That’s ridiculous, you’re traveling to Mythburrow?” MICA: I know it’s cursed or whatever, but I’m sure that’s just a rumor TALIESIN: There’s a curse? MARISHA: I’ll tell you later TALIESIN: Okay MICA: Come on MATT: “Please don’t do this “Not again.” MICA: I made it back last time, didn’t I? MATT: “Last time you did.” SAM: What was this last time? Was this a– Some deadly mission? MATT: “You’re not part of this conversation.” SAM: Oh, but I thought that I was because I was here MICA: Careful, she might shoot you MATT: “There’s no stopping you, is there?” MICA: I can’t let Samliel down MATT: “I love you, but I can’t “be part of you running to your death.” MICA: You can’t say you love me and then turn around and betray me like this, not again SAM: Oh! MATT: “Don’t put the blame on me.” MICA: I’m always going to put the blame on you if you’re always going to stick your foot in the mud and just not– and I just walk away at that point MATT: Throws her hood up and goes back, and starts firing arrows with increased anger amongst the rest of the Glassblades TRAVIS: Well, we seem to have struck a sore spot Yes SAM: I feel like we’ve learned so much about her in like two hours No, six hours Secret identities, relationships TRAVIS: We will try to keep her in good care Sorry if we’ve disturbed you LIAM: She stormed off, didn’t she? MATT: She’s just ignoring you guys LIAM: Perhaps I can make a contribution to the archives as an apology If we need to use the circle there SAM: We don’t know if there’s a circle LIAM: We don’t know MARISHA: I can go in and ask them first and then we could go from there LIAM: Yeah TRAVIS: Yes, let’s try that LAURA: Do you want to look at that spell? That page I mean, that page, I don’t know what it is LIAM: Yeah, perhaps while Beauregard is speaking inside, I will take a moment, yeah LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah MARISHA: I guess we should check in with Rena Reani TRAVIS: Reani SAM: Yeah, did she, where’d she huff off to? MATT: She huffed off back towards the entrance away from the Kaserne All right, well let’s catch up with her Reani, Reani, hello? Hello? MICA: I’m just sitting outside on the sidewalk SAM: Oh, there you are
(laughter) TRAVIS: I take it that didn’t go as planned? MICA: No, I knew she’d say that I thought maybe she’d help TALIESIN: It can be difficult for others when you answer to a higher power MICA: Yeah But like– I’m not going to die! I’ll be fine I don’t know why she won’t help me LAURA: Are you immortal? MICA: No LIAM: We get pretty banged up MICA: So do I TALIESIN: Eventually, everyone doesn’t come back MICA: But it’s not my time yet LAURA: Do you know your time? MICA: No, but I trust Samliel would tell me But Fen doesn’t get it TALIESIN: It’s important not to get angry at people for what they don’t know MICA: I guess SAM: This Sam Riegel or however you say it is very smart and wise And I know you can trust him So put your faith in Sam Riegel, and he’ll be, he’ll guide you, from the back LIAM: The election’s over, Sam SAM: This is just for me (laughter) MICA: I mean Do you ever think that maybe higher powers don’t have the best interest in you? TRAVIS: Yes MICA: Oh So a lot of you TALIESIN: I think the higher powers have the best interests of everything and sometimes the best interests of everything don’t necessarily line up with the best interests of each of us TRAVIS: Or what we want TALIESIN: Or what we want MICA: Well, that sucks TALIESIN: Yeah MICA: Well, I’m still going to help you find your dragon And I’m still going to help you kill the dragon. And– LAURA: Maybe we won’t have to! MICA: Or maybe we won’t have to And then, maybe Fen won’t be mad at me any more TRAVIS: She mentioned before, who is she to you and what happened before? MICA: Well She saved me five years ago I was out patrolling and I was trying to save a trapper out in the snow and I was hurt and she saved me and I thought I was going to marry her one day But I wanted to join an expedition that she knew was going to get me killed, but I wanted to go because I wanted to help because I’m supposed to help people We argued and she told me that if I’m not going to stay and keep the city safe and keep myself safe, then we could never be together, so TRAVIS: Right TALIESIN: That’s difficult LAURA: Yeah, sometimes the people that love you just want to keep you around and so that they know you’re safe and it’s only because, you know, they care about you so much MICA: But I also have to care about everyone You know, it’s my job LAURA: Yeah MICA: How am I supposed to put myself before everyone? MARISHA: Well, I think you’re included in everyone MICA: Sometimes I just don’t feel like that And that’s okay TRAVIS: Well, perhaps we should send Beau in and acquire if there is a circle to be used in the archive LIAM: Yes. We have a definitive plan, a good plan that Jester came up with MICA: Why can’t we all go in? SAM: Oh, well, um Some of us are banned from ever going back into the– TRAVIS: Did you say banned? LAURA: Just until further notice is all MICA: What happened?! TALIESIN: Oh TRAVIS: I think we were gone for 30 minutes! TALIESIN: I just realized who we left alone SAM: Yeah TALIESIN: Oh MICA: Should we not’ve? TALIESIN: No MICA: Oh TALIESIN: Wow, ha ha, that’s a– wow LAURA: Chaos crew in the house! LIAM: Would you take this, perhaps it will be a help, and I give 300 gold to Beauregard If that will help grease the wheels or make amends MARISHA: All right SAM: Why is Beauregard going in? She was part of the chaos LAURA: She’s from the Cobalt LIAM: She smoothed things a little SAM: Maybe Reani could go, Reani knows people there MICA: I can go with you! LIAM: Why don’t you both go ahead? MARISHA: Yeah, let’s do this MICA: Yeah! SAM: We’ll stay out here and analyze your page LIAM: You know, good cap, asshole cop MARISHA: Yeah, you know that, right?
Yeah, also something we omitted All right (laughter) MATT: All right TALIESIN: Oh boy MATT: You trek your way back to the Volition Disk, to the Liber Disk, eventually coming to the familiar sight of the exterior of the Vellum Steeple, and you both approach and enter the familiar site of the two front-facing clerks of the Steeple The same older woman still going through the same, looks like a few more pages later into whatever the next puzzles have her entranced and the younger male elf if half asleep, going (snoring) MARISHA: Is there like a desk, those chimes from earlier (ringing) MATT: “Hello?” MARISHA: Need to speak to the Scribewarden MATT: “It’s your funeral.” Gets up and– MARISHA: Wait what, what, why? MATT: “Because she’s busy!” MARISHA: Oh. I don’t care about that (laughter) MATT: Comes back “Right, hello “Uh, uh “Your friends have caused a ruckus “and as such, for the time being, “it would be appreciated as to “the day’s interest in the Steeple come to a close.” MARISHA: I wanted to extend a deepest apology on behalf of my coworkers and of course, myself, on what happened It was totally uncalled for, things got out of hand As leader of this ground, I promise I will never let that happen again MICA: Also, I vouch for them MARISHA: She likes us Here, this is from the wizard himself MATT: Make a persuasion check with advantage LIAM: ♪ (beginning of “Immigrant Song”) ♪ MATT: 300 gold helps TRAVIS: ♪ (continues “Immigrant Song” introduction) ♪ MARISHA: Okay, ooh LIAM: Both good, both good MARISHA: They’re an 18 and a 19 ♪ Take that 19! ♪ ♪ Plus my persuasion which is one. ♪ ♪ 20! ♪ MATT: The Scribewarden reaches out, takes the sack of coins, and shakes it a bit “Your apology’s accepted.” MARISHA: Thank you MATT: “Those at the Steeple “is glad to be of service “of your interests “What do you require of the Steeple?” MICA: What do we require of the Steeple? MARISHA: We’re looking for potential arcane means of transportation and if the Steeple has access to a teleportation circle, to be more specific If you don’t have access, if you could point us in the direction, I would be obliged MATT: “If I might ask, what is your interest with this circle?” MARISHA: We have matters to attend to at great haste So it would be good to have that, than to travel by goat for two weeks MATT: “We do have one such circle, “but it is for the Steeple and Diarchy use only.” MARISHA: These matters that we are attempting to solve pose a great threat to not only the surrounding communities, but the continent and potentially the world at large MATT: “That’s very large “Wow.” MARISHA: So large MATT: “Curious “What are these issues, if you would be specific please, “I’m definitely entranced by the possibilities.” MARISHA: Well, it has to deal a little bit with the ongoing conflict between the Dynasty and the Empire and the fact that a demon incursion might be overwriting those entire events and utilizing that to invade us in a very insidious way LIAM: That’s a good book report LAURA: Yeah, it was TRAVIS: It’s amazing teamwork MATT: Make another persuasion check LAURA: And we are very very very very very very very very scared MICA: Nice Charlie Brown reference MARISHA: 10? MATT: “Well “Such foreign political matters are “of little interest in the Diarchy “We’ll wish to remain absolved of such scenarios “I’m sorry I can be of no help to you.”
MICA: At this point, I shuffle over and am like: The faster the Lightbringer can go help them, and come back, the faster everyone will be safe here MATT: Are you doing this– Are you doing this with the subtlety of trying to be very convincing or doing this as a veiled threat? MICA: As a veiled threat MATT: Roll an intimidation check MARISHA: Come on, come on, come on, make it MICA: Oh! That’s a solid five LIAM: (old timey mobster) Nice outpost you’ve got here, it’d be a shame if something happened to it (laughter) MATT: “Well, I believe the Lightbringer “will have to do their best “with the resources at their disposal.” (sighs) MARISHA: Well, luckily, the resources at our disposal happen to involve a decent amount of cash Gold Platinum? MATT: “100 platinum.” (gasps) “And you gain access to the circle.” MARISHA: In perpetuity MATT: “500 platinum for perpetuity “100 for the month.” LIAM: Shit SAM: The month? TRAVIS: The month SAM: Okay MARISHA: No, fuck that. That’s not good enough SAM: 100 platinum is 1000 gold? Is that right? MARISHA: Yeah SAM: Okay Right? TRAVIS: We can’t afford that MARISHA: Just, hang on, hang on, hang on I need a hair tie. What is my hair– LIAM: Summoning Traci! LAURA: Traci! TALIESIN: I haven’t seen it in game very often SAM: We also need another (pigeon coo) teleportation circle on the other side (pigeon coo) LAURA: We don’t need another one, we’ve got Essek LIAM: It’s 500– SAM: You don’t need a circle– MATT: “If that’s too rich for your blood, “I entirely understand, “but it was your offer.” MARISHA: What did you say, 500 permanent? LAURA: Yes MARISHA: 200 platinum in perpetuity And you have full access to any of our findings along our journeys (laughter) MATT: Make a persuasion check with disadvantage MARISHA: No, what, come on! LIAM: Just roll really high! LAURA: Two natural 20s! It’s not unheard of LIAM: Will it into existence! Not bad Not bad MARISHA: 11 SAM: Bad, pretty bad (laughter) MATT: “I’m sorry, but your interesting, I’m sure, excursions “hold very little interest for us “up here in the Greying Wildlands “Your political matters are your own “The deal sits where it is.” MARISHA: Fuck LAURA: Well– I’m not in there TALIESIN: Hmm MARISHA: Hang on, I’m Looking at Reani LIAM: Come back for a fourth try (laughter) MICA: I lost a piece of information TRAVIS: I turn into a bear and I rip him into pieces (laughter) MICA: I turn into a giant scorpion and I start murdering everyone I see MATT: What could possibly go wrong? MICA: What could possibly go wrong in that moment? SAM: Sam Riegel knows all MICA: Ah– TALIESIN: Sam Riegel MICA: Aha! MARISHA: Unless you got something MICA: I do have something 200 platinum And the Lightbringer accompanies another excursion to the Savalirwood MATT: “Let me go speak “with my compatriots,” and she leaves the complex for a second She’s gone for– LIAM: I can draw it LAURA: Once you see it you can draw it? LIAM: No, no, I can draw my own on the floor MARISHA: You have to see the circle though, right? LAURA: You can draw our own in her house! MATT: Yeah, to go to the Dynasty Which still gets us to Essek Who can still take us to wherever So I can keep bring us back to the Dynasty, right? MATT: Yeah, you can keep bringing them back to the Dynasty, you just can’t scribe a new circle LAURA: No, no, no, yeah, you can’t bring us back here LIAM: I thought the plan was to go to Essek, though LAURA: Yeah! MARISHA: Once we kill the dragon, we have to come back here LIAM: So we’d then go to Essek again LAURA: Yeah, that ultimately would be great MARISHA: Then we also said that that’s tapping Essek a lot
If I can get you this arcane circle for 200 platinum, I’m going to do it for you! LIAM: It’s all good, it’s great, it’s great LAURA: And then you’ll have it forever! LIAM: True MARISHA: Yeah! LAURA: And then we can come to Umi, no MARISHA: Umadurn? Umagorn! MATT: Ten minutes of awkward silence pass in the main entry chamber of the Steeple MARISHA: Is it just me and Reani? MATT: Just you and Reani MICA: In that 10 minutes MATT: Then the two clerks there at the front MICA: Okay, in that 10 minutes, I made another flower crown, and just placed it on Beau’s head LIAM: I’ve also checked out that ripped-out page MATT: Right, we’ll get to that in just a moment MICA: Just to kill the time MARISHA: I like it MATT: Eventually, the Scribewarden returns with two other figures behind Not dressed in similar robes to the Steeple, instead they are dressed in a little more green and blue-themed noble attire but also appear to be scholars of some kind You recognize them as being, at least their attire, as members of the Woodset Auditors LIAM: Otters MARISHA: What are these these Woodset otters TALIESIN: Otters? TRAVIS: O-T-T-E-R-S or no? MATT: Auditors TALIESIN: Oh LIAM: I love it when the auditors put a rock on their chest and they bang– TALIESIN: And they hold hands when they’re–! MARISHA: They hold hands when they’re sleeping! LIAM: Just floating in the water MATT: The third part of the society here is just adorable fucking otters, guys Just thousands of them TRAVIS: Otters can take down alligators LIAM: Oh, you thought the word auditor was safe, didn’t ya? MATT: Keep pushing me, book boy TRAVIS: “Book boy?” (laughter) Keep pushing me, Barnes & Noble (laughter) MATT: Say, Borders would be the tougher one to say All righty, so The Scribewarden “(clears throat) “Should you pass on to the Lightbringer “the interest in signing a contract of intent “to be available for six months worth of excursion “to the Savalirwood, into the ruins of Molaesmyr “along with the Woodset Auditors, “we will consider this 200 platinum deal “Do I have an accord?” MICA: Six months, 150 MATT: Make a persuasion check MARISHA: Ooh TRAVIS: Go get them! Go get them! MICA: (squeals) 12 MATT: 12 “(laughs) “You’ve reached the limits of this conversation “and I am quickly losing patience.” MICA: Fine MARISHA: Hey, don’t– MICA: Fine MARISHA: Don’t do this if you’re– MICA: Fine MARISHA: We can just– MICA: Fine MARISHA: Don’t, okay, just saying I’m letting you know MATT: The Scribewarden raises a hand and you see one of the auditors approaches, paperwork already drawn up Places it on the table MARISHA: But he’s adorable (laughter) MICA: He swims up! MATT: The process of handing you the quill is extremely cute (laughter) Goddamn it, guys MICA: Bangs it on a rock on his chest MATT: Oh, I’m going to kill you all (laughter) LIAM: (As David Attenborough) Here we see the Vellum Archive auditors in their natural habitat (laughter) TALIESIN: Oh no (laughter) MATT: Every DM out there, you understand me You know this pain SAM: Then suddenly, a predator (laughter) MARISHA: It’s got a little wand Sorry, keep going LIAM: Druid swoops in for the attack! MATT: Do you sign the paperwork? MICA: I sign the paperwork Reluctantly, I sign the paperwork MARISHA: I hand over the 2000 gold worth of cash MATT: All right MARISHA: Which is everything I have MATT: “Well “I look forward to doing business “with each of you.” Accepts the money MARISHA: How do we, ooh, wait, wait I meant to remove I wish I could’ve added that Who do we contact when we want to come in? MATT: “Me.” MARISHA: Awesome Thank you (laughter) MARISHA: I’m distracted with the amount of money I lost right now TRAVIS: Dope (laughter) MATT: All right, so TRAVIS: Word MICA: Dope MARISHA: All right! MATT: That’s very Beau, though MICA: Swag MATT: All right You’ve made the deal You guys get the fuck out of the steeple LIAM: I hear you have a yeet circle (laughter) MICA: Fucking yeet ourselves (laughter)
Excuse me, we’d like to yeet ourselves into the mountains MARISHA: Yeet back to Rosohna MATT: All right, so in the meantime, you are doing that LIAM: High fantasy, yes, checking out that page TRAVIS: Oh shit The page LAURA and LIAM: The page LIAM: I mean, that was like two hours at least so– MATT: Yeah, so what do you wish to do? LIAM: it’s been a long time since I’ve had a page I will take the time to cast Comprehend Languages to read it MATT: All right The page itself has nothing to do with the enchantment you seem to sense on it The ink is different and there is definitely something subtly hidden amongst the script to bind some sort of magic to this page The text itself appears to be picking up in the middle of an expository write-down on the ability to take various forms of earth and raw materials and craft them through magical means into structures, and essentially discussing about how in the Age of Arcanum, there was very little need for masonry as most all major construction eventually was transitioned into purely arcane-based summoning and creation LIAM: The spell is contained within the page or that is hard to assess? MATT: It’s hard to assess There’s something enchanted in this page and the page– there’s something about this that– LIAM: I’m going to spend another 10 minutes and identify I cast Identify on it MATT: Okay There is a strong conjuration essence to this page You get the feeling that there is something essentially zipped or hidden within this, like there is a thin veil, like a pocket, that doesn’t exist on this plane that is woven into this page LIAM: This is some sort of portal, the page itself is portal SAM: Could you dispel, dispel something? LIAM: Perhaps If I study the words, could I see if there is any sort of code or pattern hidden in the writing? MATT: Make an arcana check LIAM: (snorts) 14 MATT: 14? SAM: Mote of possibility? LIAM: You have to do it in advance MATT: Unfortunately, it escapes you Whoever put this– LAURA: I look over his shoulder, can I see any symbols? Like drawing things that would catch my eye? MATT: Make an arcana check With disadvantage LAURA: Okay MATT: This is certainly not your specialty LAURA: Well, now I’m just looking for stuff Oof 16 MATT: 16 Not really, but it’s pretty ink LAURA: It’s shimmery LIAM: Yeah Something to it I will save it for a rainy day TALIESIN: We’ll have time LIAM: Yeah MATT: Okay. So you pocket the page LIAM: Yeah MATT: All right The rest of your party catches up to you Is there anything else you guys want to do in the interim? MARISHA: All right, well, I’m super broke now TRAVIS: Why? MARISHA: Well, I just bought us like a year-long, like a forever membership to this place TRAVIS: Hey, that’s great! MARISHA: Yeah! LIAM: Forever? MARISHA: Well, we have access to the teleportation circle in perpetuity LAURA: In perpetuity? MARISHA: It just cost me 2000 gold TRAVIS: Oh! TALIESIN: Wow MICA: And I might die LAURA: What?! MARISHA: And Reani kind of signed up for a six-month contract LAURA: What?! MARISHA: Because they originally wanted 500 gold SAM: You mean 5000? MARISHA: No sorry, 500 platinum SAM: Oh MARISHA: So 5000 gold So we were able to talk them down, we tried to go for a little bit less, but they wanted 100 platinum for a month, and I was like: Fucking ripoff LIAM: This is huge, though MARISHA: Is it? Is it good? Did I do a good thing? TRAVIS: You did very well LAURA: We can come here forever! MARISHA: Yeah, we can use it forever SAM: And it didn’t cost us a thing MARISHA: Uh-huh LIAM: Let me cover half of that MARISHA: You have 1000 gold on you? LIAM: I do MARISHA: Deal LAURA: I can help too LIAM: Let me get this MARISHA: Yeah, and I don’t mind either
I haven’t paid for anything in a bit LIAM: You had the idea That seems like a really good deal for me MICA: Does this mean you guys will come back to visit? SAM: Yes! This place is awesome TRAVIS: Fuck this place No, I’m just kidding (laughter) SAM: So we need to reach out to Essek MICA: Who is Essek? LAURA: He’s our friend MICA: Is he nice? SAM: He floats LAURA: He’s super cool MICA: He floats? LAURA: He floats and he’s super duper hot Hot boi MICA: When can we go? Can we go now? SAM: Well, we got to talk to him first LAURA: We got to talk to him I’ll talk to him MATT: All right I’m going to send him a message Okay Further developments on our mission We need your help again to travel a great distance It’s of dire importance SAM: Okay TRAVIS: That’s one word What do you think? Can you (laughter) MATT: “Why (laughter) “If it is of dire importance, “I will do what I can, “but please, my skills are not “given parlor tricks “Be mindful.” LAURA: I send a message back No no no no no, we don’t think that! You’re very powerful and we just need your help! We don’t take it for granted Do do do do do MATT: That’s the entire message? LAURA: Yeah MATT: “Very well “I will await your arrival in Rosohna “and will do my best to be of aid.” LAURA: Oh my gosh! He’s going to help us, we just got to get to Rosohna TRAVIS: That’s great SAM: Good news, good news Have you ever been to Rosohna? MICA: No LAURA: Ooh SAM: It’s a little weird LAURA: It’s very dark MICA: Oh LAURA: It’s pretty dark here, isn’t it, too, because we’re underground SAM: Do you think that, I mean, do you think that she’ll be accepted there? LIAM: She’s with us LAURA: You might get some looks MICA: I have a hood If anybody tries to hurt me, I’ll stab them SAM: Yeah! TRAVIS: Well, maybe we lay low on the stabbing outright, and I don’t know if the hood will hide your– SAM: Does it hide your– TRAVIS: Light? MICA: No TRAVIS: Right Have we ever seen anyone that had a halo of light above their head? MATT: No SAM: When you’re in your beast form, do you still have the halo? MICA: Uh-huh SAM: Is there any way to dim it? MICA: No one can see it if they’re dead! TRAVIS: Okay Not what we’re going for TALIESIN: That’s true SAM: What if you put on a hat? Does it conceal it a little? MICA: No SAM: It just goes around the hat no matter how big the hat is? MICA: Yeah, and I put up my hood to show them the halo’s still there SAM: Wow LAURA: That’s really cool TRAVIS: We’re actually favored people of this Dynasty, so they tend not to mess with us, you should be fine MICA: So no stabbing TRAVIS: No MICA: Poisoning? LAURA: No no no MICA: Okay MARISHA: Does this keep you up at night? MICA: No, I’ve learned to live with it MARISHA: Oh MICA: Yeah MARISHA: It’s just a little neon light all the time MICA: It dims when I sleep LAURA: Does it? MICA: That’s what I’ve been told MARISHA: It dims when you sleep? MICA: Yeah LIAM: Do you mind if we use your home to jump? MICA: Please! Only if I can cook dinner SAM: Sure. Let’s go LIAM and TALIESIN: All right MICA: Yeah? TALIESIN: Oh yeah MICA: Well, let’s go then! TALIESIN: Let’s do this MATT: All right Just as a note, you have not yet inspected the circle at the Steeple LAURA: Oh yeah, you probably should do that LIAM: Yeah Caleb knew that; Liam’s an idiot MARISHA: I wanted to pop back in anyway real quick before we left because I forgot something LIAM: Well, let’s go, you can run your errand (laughter) Here’s your deal (laughter) MARISHA: Steal the money back
MATT: All right, you head back to the Steeple as the rest of you are gathering over at Reani’s house LAURA: That’s good because it’s time to prep dinner MICA: Dinnertime MARISHA: (ringing) MATT: You enter, the old woman dwarf looks up and goes, “You’ve certainly come in a lot today!” MARISHA: Sorry MATT: “What do you need?” MARISHA: We need to take a peek at that fancy-schmancy teleportation that I just spent a lot of money to get access to MATT: “I’ll get the Scribewarden “(grunts)” She gets up and wanders off, the Scribewarden is retrieved, and, “Ah, very quick are you to take “of this particular arrangement.” MARISHA: Well, you know WHAT they say Lucky number three We won’t bother you any more after this LIAM: Going to maximize our use of it Also, I would like to apologize for my wife and my domestic squabble (laughter) MATT: “How is your rib doing?” LIAM: We have some very accomplished healers in the group MATT: “I hope you have very accomplished therapists as well “Come.” Leads you guys back from the doorway where you saw the people you were gathering entering and exiting what you hadn’t been in before You are stepping into what looks like a sprawling library, similar to some of the Cobalt Soul libraries that you’ve come across You can see a lot of them are scrolls as opposed to books, like Library of Alexandria style, stacked up in sections with labels and various notes set aside LIAM: Some “I, Claudius” shit MATT: Yeah It’s not as big, comparatively, as some of the libraries There are sections where you can see areas of very well guarded and so it looks and actually a lot of these appear to be damaged MARISHA: Can I tell what kind of damage? MATT: Make a perception check MARISHA: Why is it never investigation? MATT: If you want to get close, you can investigate it MARISHA: Will I get in trouble? MATT: You don’t know until you try LAURA: Try TALIESIN: That sounds like a dare to me LAURA: ♪ Roll the dice! ♪ MARISHA: It’s always a dare, and I have to– TRAVIS: You just spent all this money MICA: Get re-kicked out MATT: The section of predominantly damaged books is surrounded with similarly dressed individuals as the ones that you saw referred to as the Woodset Auditors TRAVIS: (high-pitched animal cry) MARISHA: I don’t want to Red Rover them because I know they’re holding hands and they’re super adorable, but, if I could– TALIESIN: It’s why they call them aww-ditors MICA and LAURA: Aww! TALIESIN: I’m done, that was my one MATT: Ah, you guys put so much faith in a Teleport spell (laughter) TALIESIN: We’re so fucked MARISHA: Can I swing wide and take a look? LIAM: Yes, you can try to do that This is such a bumblefuck of an episode MATT: Make a stealth check to see if you can peel off for a moment to get close enough MARISHA: Okay 22 MATT: 22 You find a moment where you peel off away from the periphery of the Scribewarden and get close enough to look over the shoulder of a few of these auditors Good Glance past and take a deep bit of interest, now roll a perception check Or no, investigation for this one, because you got plus one for investigation MARISHA: I know, I know TRAVIS: Are you serious? MARISHA: Shut up I don’t need this from you 11 No! 10 TALIESIN: Oh! MATT: It’s hard to tell (laughter) The pages look sullied and at first glance, seems just filthier or oil or some sort of contaminant like they were just drudged up out an ocean floor, but the coloration is continuously purple The tint is purple Which leads you to be different, that’s as much as you get MARISHA: Okay, that’s something, I got something MATT: You got something with a 10 TRAVIS: It was a Color Run MARISHA: Yeah MATT: Then you hear, (throat clearing) and the Scribewarden’s looking back, in your direction as you’re sliding back up MARISHA: 45 foot movement speed MATT: Yeah. (whooshing) The Scribewarden seems kind of, you just ninja catted her essentially Caleb is very innocent-faced and just ogling everything He hasn’t been by books in forever You are brought towards the very back and center of this large open chamber, and you can see now it’s called the Steeple because the center of it, it’s just that rising part of the temple, it’s this ever, this extremely tall gradually gathering point, a tower from the inside and each 15-foot or 20-foot height has a small walkway and a staircase that goes up another smaller walkway and a staircase that goes up
It’s like being in Luxor, where you look up where all the hotel floors that descend to the top, and it’s much more of a point Right in the center of all that, you can see on the ground is a very familiar chiseled sigil representing a teleportation circle As you approach, the Scribewarden says, “Just so you’re aware, this, “to step into this circle “will send you to Palebank Village “which is a bit northwest of here “and is involved in our excavations “of Eiselcross to the north “That is not of interest to you “and I would hate for you to be suddenly stranded “in such a small podunk place “However, should this be an element of your returning, “to it, it does act as an anchor for such circles “which I assume is why you’re so interested in this.” Looking straight towards you LIAM: Well, we have business here and business elsewhere so we need to be able to return here expediently MATT: “Good “Then, come here and meet the guardians of the circle “so they know what to look for “so you aren’t immediately assailed when you return.” Introduces you to a set of four different guardians, they all take note, you know, they meet you briefly, take a very intense look over each of you, some of them sketch a bit and take notes That seems sufficient enough to the point where you won’t be attacked on sight for suddenly appearing in the middle of a very closely guarded LIAM: Give a brief description of our friends who are not here MATT: All right LIAM: I am the one who will be piloting the expedition Thank you MATT: “Very well “Do you require anything else?” MARISHA: Is there any type of certificate or documentation that we need to show to the people at the front desk so we don’t have to bother you every time we come in? Or so that we can get our very hefty transaction in writing? MATT: “A contract I can draw up, yes.” MARISHA: Thank you MATT: “But I do have to be present whenever you’re here, “so do not try to abuse this.” LIAM: So not today, but does this deal mean that I have access to the archives again? MATT: “No.” LIAM: Okay MATT: “It was for the circle.” (laughter) TALIESIN: Wow MATT: The contract is written up and you now have in your disposal and you can add it to your equipment section of your character sheet that you have a contract with the Scribewarden LIAM: Just a little (squishing) MATT: I know, I know. Sorry, buddy LIAM: Yeah, great, good stuff TALIESIN: Caleb’s heart broke that day Took it to be repaired MARISHA: All right, we go back to everybody else SAM: Should we rest a night and then go or go now and rest there? LIAM: I think we should rest there, I think we should go LAURA: Yeah SAM: All right MARISHA: We have dinner first though, right? LIAM: They’re making dinner TALIESIN: I think we’ve been making dinner while you go out LAURA: What did we make? MICA: Grilled goat with assorted veggies SAM: Ooh! TALIESIN: Spiced MICA: Spiced. Absolutely TALIESIN: I have good stuff MICA: And a rice pilaf MARISHA: Oh my god, yes MICA: And then after dinner, some mulled wine LAURA: What about baked goods, probably a big cake? MICA: Absolutely, yeah MARISHA: This is making me emotional MICA: It’s a cake, and then poorly frosted is everybody’s face but like, it looks really bad LAURA: No, I definitely helped with that, so it looks pretty good MICA: I take it back, it’s a beautifully frosted cake MATT: Make– SAM: (whispered) Performance MATT: Make a performance check, yeah Yeah, I was going to say either performance or dexterity, I was like no, that’ll be a performance check MICA: Make a frosting check MATT: That’s exactly what this is, this is frosting technique TRAVIS: How’s your performance? LAURA: My performance is not good, but that’s a 19 MATT: It’s pretty impeccable For the limited icing resources that they have here that you’ve managed to accrue over time, or through favors at the local bakeries in the area, you pull off some decent mixtures and color shade, transitions and stuff, where there’s actually a little bit of shadow elements– MICA: Duff Goldman would be proud MATT: Oh yeah, straight up MICA: Yeah, Ace of Cakes TALIESIN: I don’t know how you got the glowing lichen to work like that, but that’s really impressive MICA: I’m going to let you know: moss TALIESIN: Wow! MICA: I know. Crazy TALIESIN: Is there anything it can’t do? (laughter) MATT: All right, so your meal is much better than you were expecting for a podunk portion of the city of Uthodurn The rest of the evening is yours SAM: We’re going to go back now? LAURA: Yeah SAM: All right Fire it up, how do we do this? LIAM: It takes a little bit of time to write on the floors, is it okay if I use these chalks here? MICA: Yeah, do you want a different color?
LIAM: No, I’m all set, thank you LAURA: When he is drawing that up, I’m just going to send a real quick message to Yeza SAM: Oh, thank you! LAURA: Oh, yeah SAM: What are you going to say? LAURA: Hey Yeza Found out Nugget really likes ground nuts, like in a meal form, because I don’t think we’ve been feeding him the right things SAM: Also, how’s my family? LAURA: Also, how’s the fam? MATT: “How’s the–” is about where it ends “Oh, I had no idea “That’s good to know “I’ll go ahead and get some posthaste “I assume you meant family? “All is well “Just miss my–” And like– (laughter) Somewhere in the neighborhood So that’s your response LAURA: They’re good, they’re good SAM: Perfect MATT: You finish the circle creation, mark down the components utilized for that LIAM: I have to get more LAURA: I think he was going to say he misses me a lot, though TALIESIN: We need more before we end up where we’re ending up? LIAM: We can get some in Rosohna MICA: Also, before we take off, I finished everyone’s flower crowns and have delivered them to everyone so now everyone matches MATT: Each of you have matching flower crowns in your inventory Do with it as you will TALIESIN: I’m putting mine on my head and I’m starting my spell to get it to start sprouting mushrooms in the game MATT: The flower crown immediately begins to, and much more rapidly than you expected, to produce unique and alien-looking fungus that in some ways blends and contrasts with the hair color which is transitioning away from pink a little bit TALIESIN: A little bit MARISHA: Wait, what’s happening? TALIESIN: It’s just getting a little SAM: He isn’t eating enough salmon or something TALIESIN: Well, we’ve been in a bit of a rough environment LAURA: What color is it turning? TALIESIN: It’s still pink, it’s just getting a little lighter, and there’s also some new colors in the lichen and I’ve got some interesting blue glowing lichens starting to spread on my right side MICA: What can make your hair pink again? TALIESIN: Oh, that’s just a better environment for what turns it pink, it’s just been, it’s not been a lot of sunlight MICA: I’m going to Druidcraft a small pink flower and place it on top of your head but I have to climb up on a chair, I’m assuming– TALIESIN: Oh, I’m really tall MICA: To place it on top of your head MATT: Problem solved All right At this point, while you guys are having this conversation, Caleb, you finish the spell and you have in your hand the final component to trigger the very brief instant in which the circle is active LIAM: Flower crown still on my head, okay Are we ready to go? This is very quick, so you have to jump in right away as soon as I make this last mark MICA: On it LIAM: Okay MARISHA: Mm-hmm LIAM: Right, eins, zwei, drei MATT: As soon as he does that, you watch all the scrawlings on the ground (whooshing) light up with extremely strong whitish, almost golden light, and you watch as one by one, they all jump in, vanish. (whooshing) You go with them? MICA: Yeah MATT: (whooshing) There’s a moment where all of a sudden, the ground leaves your feet There is no color, no light, just the sensation of being pushed through a void expanse Your stomach suddenly knots up in that butterfly-type feeling in your stomach and then (whooshing) your feet find ground and you are inside of a darkly lit, subterranean chamber of gray rock, very smoothly carved, and a bunch of soldiers around suddenly turning with spears, wearing strange, metallic armor that looks organic or chitinous with helmets and probably one of the first times in a long time that you’ve seen drow MICA: Oh Well, first, I turn and vom a little bit TALIESIN: Yep, that’ll, that’ll– MATT: The weapons relax MICA: It’s not fun, it’s not great SAM: Show our symbols MATT: Yep They escort you through hallways into this grandiose-looking walkway that you’ve never seen something quite so large, it’s like a cathedral of muted color palette, but still beautiful and perfunctory in the colors that do push out which are bright purples and greens and subtle reds The walls themselves are these chiseled, refractory, opaque gray marble Heading down this hallway, more soldiers pass you, they look curious and there’s definitely with each moment of recognition, an impulse towards intruder and then a moment of recognition that goes into a moment of relaxation They lead you out to the exterior in which you now look upon the entirety of the beautiful city of Rosohna It is midnight here, from what you can tell, a pitch-black sky, sparse with clouds
You can see circle after circle of this city sprawling out around you, separated by boundary walls, themselves made of a similar gray-like material with numerous small green lanterns of light that flicker and glow across, marking the separations to each ring of this city It is strange, it is dark, it is beautiful, and it’s alien Nothing quite like anything you’ve seen MICA: I fight the urge to run off and explore because adventure is like the greatest thing on earth I’m just kind of, first of all, getting over the stomachache of– MATT: Still a little queasy MICA: Still a little queasy, but I’m just spinning around in a circle, like not sure where to go first, like a dog MATT: You guys see this push and pull TRAVIS: No, you’ll be fine, there’s time to explore later MICA: Do we? Can we? TRAVIS: In a bit MICA: Okay LAURA: You should see our house! MICA: You have a house? LAURA: We have a tree on the roof! MICA: What? LAURA: Yeah MICA: Can we go? TRAVIS: Less stimuli, why we are on an objective, yes MICA: Right, but LAURA: And a hot tub! MICA: What? LAURA: In our house! MICA: What? Can we go now? No? They seem like no TRAVIS: We’re going to see Essek, right? MICA: Can we go? MATT: What’s the order of operations here? LIAM: Well, we should speak to Essek, I need to speak to Essek MARISHA: We should check in at the house anyway LAURA: We should show Essek the– LIAM: Yeah, absolutely MARISHA: I should make sure Dairon’s okay SAM: And that she’s properly folded our laundry by now TALIESIN: Perhaps we should tell Essek to meet us at the house and that’s where we should take care of things MARISHA: Mm-hmm LAURA: Yeah Oh Yeah, I can do that Yes, I can do that, I have the pearl. I can do that I will send a message to Essek again MATT: All righty MICA: This poor guy TALIESIN: Hey LAURA: It’s me again MICA: ‘Sup, dude TALIESIN: Brah MICA: Brah LAURA: Don’t worry, we made it totally safe, we’re back here, just heading to the house if you want to meet us there We have something cool to show you We have a friend with us Don’t be surprised See you soon Essek’s response is, “That is quicker than I was expecting “Well, then “I will be heading over towards your abode shortly “Get your things ready.” LAURA: Get our stuff ready, he’s coming SAM: Okay, okay, okay. Let’s go MATT: Is there anything you guys need to do before meeting up with Essek at your home? LIAM: On the way there, I will probably try to find a place where I can replenish my supply of fancy chalks for– MATT: You know of two locations you’ve been introduced to by Essek in your brief excursion through the city, getting a lay of the land where this is accessible to you LIAM: Okay, so I’m dropping enough for four more times MATT: Go for it Mark those components down on your inventory TALIESIN: I’m repacking teas, spices, things that we need for travel and I’m going to try and take the flower off my head and see if I can get it going in the tree once we’re back home LAURA: Ooh, yeah TALIESIN: Since we’ve got some stuff going there anyway MATT: You are brought towards this neighborhood The architecture is familiar, but distinctly different and it’s really beautiful, also the populace here is vastly drow As well as you see bits of other creatures you’re not used to seeing in and around Uthodurn You do see some orcs and you had some interactions with orcs of different ideals and dispositions, from Boroftkrah to the south, very positive if aloof in their interactions and very– Very culturally protective, but agnostic to anything with Uthodurn specifically as opposed to the Jez-Araz, orcs which are much more intense and hunt whatever comes their path You see occasionally goblins and bugbears and other, you know, people that you’ve heard varying degrees of communication about being considered enemies, villainous, killers of dwarf and elf alike It’s just a lot of conflicting information in your head at once you’re trying to get through, and as you’re struggling with that, you’re brought into this neighborhood and see a home A very nice two-story home where upon a parapet-like tower in the far corner, a massive fucking tree is growing 60 or so feet out of the top of it, covered in lights
MICA: Is that the tree? LAURA: That’s it It’s really pretty, right? MICA: How did it get there? SAM: He did it TALIESIN: Hey MICA: (gasps) It’s so nice! TALIESIN: Thank you. Yeah, I’m pretty proud of that MICA: I love it! TALIESIN: Yeah MICA: Does it have a name? TALIESIN: You know, I haven’t asked I should ask MICA: You should ask! TALIESIN: It never occurs to me to ask plants’ names, normally it just doesn’t come up I’ve actually never met a plant with a name Well, wait (laughter) LAURA: Clay goes silent for an hour (laughter) MATT: As you guys approach the entryway, (laughter) TALIESIN: Thank you MATT: The familiar face of Dairon’s dark elf form goes, “You’ve returned “Well, come inside “Tell me what has transpired.” And ushers you all in, looks over to you “And you are?” MICA: I’m Reani MATT: “Reani.” MARISHA: She’s cool MATT: “Dairon.” MICA: Kind of like, eying his hand MARISHA: She’s cool Yeah, I actually like this though, this, yeah I mean, in terms of how protective you all are Stop staring at me, Christ MATT: “Come inside.” LAURA: Who, what, who is that? MARISHA: Sorry, I just mean, nevermind LAURA: Dairon, Essek is on his way over MATT: “I will do my best to be out of sight.” TALIESIN: No, I haven’t (laughter) MATT: In the meantime, as you’re out shopping and gathering everything and you guys are all at the house, they give you the tour of the space, beautiful interior, it’s kept well Dairon’s done decent maintenance, at the very least There is a tub of water at the base of the tower where the tree is above and you can see the roots that have dug down through the rock and stone that are just tickling about five feet above the water’s surface It’s strange LAURA: Pretty cool? MICA: I like it TALIESIN: Pretty proud, pretty proud MATT: Leads you up into the base of the tree, the top of it, and you can see there’s a garden that has been established here where there are little shrines with little symbols placed amongst them, incomplete in full collection, but partially in process there and little, small packets of plants that are in the process of growing, though having a tougher time given the environment here MICA: Are these your plants? TALIESIN: Well, I mean, they’re their own, but yeah, I help with them here MICA: Do you want help with them? TALIESIN: Always, of course MICA: I want to go over to all of them and just generally Druidcraft over them and give them love and warmth and growing powers MATT: The way you’ve established this, it’s sustainable, but it doesn’t allow for rapid– what’s the word I’m looking for– rapid abundance, if you will, or flourishing of these different pockets TRAVIS: — expansion MATT: However, as Reani comes through, having a different, but fascinating connection with nature than the one that you have You watch as each of these patches, suddenly the color becomes more vibrant The leaves, the flowers, everything seems to blossom as she runs her hands across the exterior Not to an unfathomable degree, but quickly and subtly, in a way that it impresses you LAURA: Wow TALIESIN: Ah, that’s great This is– Oh, that’s great, I was getting a little worried on the– MICA: You know, sometimes you just got to talk to them in the right way and give them a little more encouragement TALIESIN: Well, I’ve been trying to encourage I mean, I talk to them as much as– MICA: Yeah, I can tell, they like you TALIESIN: Oh, well I like them, too MICA: Yeah, good Well, I’m glad to be of service TALIESIN: Oh, thank you Thank you for reminding me by the way, I meant to ask, what is your name? I’m talking to the tree MATT: Yeah (laughter) MICA: Is he responding? TALIESIN: Yeah MICA: Yeah? TALIESIN: Yeah, his name is Silence, apparently MICA: Oh, that’s a good name, that’s a good name Strong TALIESIN: There’s just nothing, yeah It’s just quiet, it’s kind of nice LIAM: Sylas! MICA: We can call him Sy TALIESIN: We can call him Sy MICA: I think he likes it TALIESIN: He just keeps saying his name It’s pretty, I think (laughter) MATT: All right TALIESIN: Thank you for that MATT: You don’t happen to have Speak with Plants prepared, do you? MICA: I don’t, actually MATT: That would’ve been fun MICA: I’m so mad! MATT: That’s okay All right, so, around this time, Caleb returns, gathering materials as well including what Caduceus was requesting, right about the time that Essek arrives
Now, who you see arrived at the front, a male drow, short white hair, a perpetual soft smile, a similar mantle of armor to the soldiers that you saw exterior, but beneath it, a cloak of dark purple just drifts below and obscures the entirety of his body As he glides in, no bobs or footsteps, just drifting to the front of the house and entering the chamber upon being met up with the rest “It is good to see all of you well “And this is the friend you were talking about?” MICA: I lean over to Jester like: He is hot LAURA: I know! MICA: Wow MATT: “If I might inquire, what is your name?” MICA: Just Reani (laughter) MATT: “Well “Welcome “Where do you hail?” MICA: Nicodranas SAM: What, um TRAVIS: Sorry I mean, you’re speaking very quietly MICA: Um, I’m from Nicodranas MATT: “Hmm.” LAURA: Me, too! MATT: “Indeed “So you required my assistance? “My time is–” SAM: Yes LAURA: Really valuable SAM: Remember how you teleported us somewhere? MATT: “Yes, to the Greying Wildlands.” SAM: We need to go somewhere else MATT: “Whereabouts?” LAURA: It’s called Mythburrow MATT: “Very well.” LAURA: Have you heard of it? SAM: Oh boy TRAVIS: We have a map MATT: “No.” (laughter) LAURA: So we do have a map, but also I was thinking, what if I scryed on the dragon? SAM: Can you do that? You’re familiar– LAURA: I’m familiar with it TRAVIS: We know his name LAURA: Yeah, and I know basically what he looks like SAM: Do dragons sense that sort of thing? LAURA: Who knows, I don’t SAM: All right, let’s do it then TALIESIN: I mean, one would assume LIAM: No, that’s rare MATT: So what are you doing? LAURA: I’m going to try to scry on– SAM: Do we need to do this? We’re doing this to get a location so that we can teleport closest LAURA: Wouldn’t it be better if I could give you a description of what it looks like? MATT: “That would probably be helpful to us “to a minor extent “As I have not traveled there, “it’s going to be challenging, but not impossible.” TALIESIN: Perhaps also not attempting to teleport directly on top of the dragon LAURA: Well, yeah, I know that TALIESIN: Like maybe a mile or two away MATT: “So I’m just mildly curious “Dragon?” TALIESIN: Oh well MARISHA: It’s like a– LAURA: Have you heard of– MARISHA: Yeah LAURA: Gelidon? LIAM: It’s a story with many parts MARISHA: He’s a piece of the puzzle in us trying to accomplish our overall goal MATT: “All right, so you’re going to a dragon.” LAURA: Yeah Have you heard of iceflex? MATT: “No.” LAURA: It’s mithral that’s been breathed on by a dragon, a white dragon specifically We have to go there and get him to breathe on the mithral so that we can go and get this sword fixed so that we can defeat the Laughing Hand and you know, serve the Bright Queen like she wants us to TALIESIN: Pretty standard stuff, really MARISHA: Yeah MATT: “Quite standard.” LAURA: Here’s the thing, can we sleep before we go? TALIESIN: Well, I thought we would sleep once we’re there TRAVIS: Yeah LAURA: Why, why would we do that when we could sleep here instead? TALIESIN: To get a better sense of where we are– LAURA: What if something attacks us there and we’re not rested and we could be rested and go– LIAM: Could we put a pin in that for just one moment? May I ask, too, this is a separate topic– MATT: “Yes.” LIAM: How is the timeline that we have discussed? MATT: “(sighs) “We are looking at an extension of maybe two more weeks, “but I have pushed to the extent of my ability.” LIAM: Well, if we leave in the morning, we have two weeks, that’s good, I have time, but perhaps tonight Now? Today? Would I be able to get in to see this prisoner again? Or sometime– MATT: “There needs to be a bit more of a– “An acknowledgement in advance “Even I have my limitations within my den.” LIAM: Of course MATT: “And I’ve already pushed that to a limit “to make good on your request “If you intend to leave, well, tomorrow, “then I’m not entirely certain why you summon me now “If you intend to leave tonight, “either way, you would need a few days “for me to bring this to the den.” LIAM: Before we leave tonight, if there’s paperwork or logistics involved, consider this my formal application, then
MATT: “I will go ahead and put it in.” LIAM: Thank you MATT: Now–” LAURA: Show him the thing LIAM: I feel like I’m pushing too much SAM: I’ll ask him LAURA: But he might like it! SAM: Yeah, there’s one thing, there’s one thing. Caleb is such a polite young man, he wouldn’t bring this up to bother you with this, but he found an amazing page filled with magic and wonder and you might be the key that unlocks it LAURA: Also, I brought you a present MATT: “Yay.” LAURA: I pull out a cupcake It’s fresh, I swear! MATT: Extends his hand and the cupcake lifts out of your hand– LAURA: I did that myself MATT: — and drifts over LIAM: This guy’s a germophobe (laughter) SAM: That’s why he floats TRAVIS: Thank you SAM: Like Howie Mandel? MATT: “Thank you.” It vanishes beneath the cloak SAM: Oh, he eats with his sleeve! (laughter) MATT: Subtle chewing noises emerge from it (laughter) It’s like Bishamon from Darkstalkers, anyway LIAM: Sheepishly fishes this page out and says: I’ve only just acquired this, but it stumping me a bit Does this mean anything to you? MATT: Reaches out and takes the page Unfurls it (speaking foreign language) Begins suddenly incanting some spell and you begin to recognize it, hopefully Make an arcana check LIAM: What he’s casting? MATT: Mm-hmm LIAM: Yeah sure, that’s 26 MATT: Dispel Magic LAURA: Oh, well LIAM: I was going to do that tonight at bedtime Great MATT: He completes the cast You watch as suddenly all the writing on the page flares, you hear a tearing sound, and it seems like dropping out of the bottom of the page, (whooshing) two pouches and a round case (rumbling) onto the ground MARISHA: Oh my god MATT: He goes, “I think I figured it out.” LIAM: Sometimes the simplest solutions escape us I’m in your debt again MATT: “Mm-hmm.” LIAM: Thank you SAM: Cool! LIAM: Yeah, I scoop up the things and hide them away for now SAM: Shall we away then? MARISHA: Can I check in with Dairon real quick while that was happening? MATT: Sure, while this is happening, Dairon is off in the other room, arms crossed She’s listening in, facing away from everything I just back up and lean against her MATT: “How goes everything, Beauregard?” MARISHA: It’s going pretty good About to head off to some sort of cursed land to apparently have a white dragon breathe on a sword How’s it going with you? MATT: “I’m going to be perfectly honest “I hate it here “I’m not made for housekeeping.” MARISHA: The housekeeping was a guise MATT: “I know “What am I to do with my time “when I have to maintain this guise “when people occasionally come by? “It’s okay “I’m doing my own bits of detective work in the meantime “Just broken with dusting.” MARISHA: Well, the house looks fucking’ fantastic MATT: “Thank you.” MARISHA: We’ll talk more when we get back MATT: “I’m sure we will “White dragon?” MARISHA: Yeah MATT: “How old?” MARISHA: I don’t know, at least 250 years old, probably more How old is that, what’s that mean, you have any information? MATT: “It can depend “If it’s 250 years old, it could be an adult.” MARISHA: Hm MATT: “Older, even bigger “You’re all very talented people, “but you have your limits “Just be careful “If things go poorly, run.” MARISHA: All right MATT: “I say this “as an individual who has survived this long “because I knew when to run.” MARISHA: I can’t abandon these people MATT: “No “So make them run with you “Bravery has a very fine line before it turns into stupidity “Survive.” MARISHA: So you keep telling me MATT: “Indeed, and you have made it this far, “that means you are listening.” MARISHA: Catch you on the flip Peace! MATT: (heavy sigh) You hear a heavy sigh from Dairon
You all join Essek, gather in a circle, he begins to mutter an incantation, his voice begins to echo loudly until it seems to consume the space around you and in a similar, uncomfortable sensation, all the color and shape suddenly blurs (whooshing) I need someone to go ahead and roll– SAM: Oh yeah MATT: A percentage dice for me, please LIAM: Got it MARISHA: Are you doing it? LIAM: I’m doing it TALIESIN: All right MARISHA: Doing it on the map cam? Nope LIAM: 87 SAM: Ooh, that’s good, that’s good. I think? Or is that bad? LAURA: I don’t know MATT: Hold on, I’m pulling up, I’m pulling it up right now TALIESIN: This is not an exact science MICA: Okay SAM: We might die MATT: 87, you said LAURA: You could be bamfed into a rock MICA: Oh fuck! TALIESIN: A lot can happen LIAM: Three miles in the air MATT: Let me pull it out of the book here, it’s a little convoluted in that, so, keep the number in mind, thank you for your patience here TALIESIN: We’re on the moon! (cheering) Wait. (gasping) MICA: It’s made of cheese! MATT: Moonweaver ain’t going to help you there TALIESIN: Whitestone was right! And then I die (laughter) MATT: All right, so what’d you roll? LIAM: 87 MATT: 87 TALIESIN: Don’t do that! That’s so mean! MATT: With that sudden rush, TALIESIN: Fuck MATT: The temperature immediately shifts as you find yourselves suddenly sitting in the center of a mild snowstorm Familiar to your first arrival here in the Greying Wildlands A successful teleport (sighing) has brought you to the base of a heavy mountain range just beyond the white blasting of the snow around you You can see the rolling, craggy alps just begin to vanish into the storm ahead, this region still powdered familiar white from the recent and current snowfall but one mountainside’s mild discoloration before you catches your eye A few hundred feet up from its base, a faceted, jagged, unnatural frostscape of white-blue ice appears to have claimed the rocky incline for a few hundred feet more, looking like a plague of ice vines erupting from the mountain’s belly, frozen in time after climbing and attempting to burst out of the mountain itself In the center of that spiraling web of ice, you see a massive cluster of cage-like ice growths that encircle an oblong mouth A cavern that enters the mountainside This, you assume is Mythburrow Essek turns to you all, his hair blowing in the wind, “You’re crazy, “but good luck.” And that’s where we’ll pick up next week (sighing) SAM: Oh man TRAVIS: Shit MATT: So you’ll be joining us again for next week MICA: Yay! (clapping) Or you’re like, “And this is where you die, “goodbye, get out.” MATT: Also viable, also viable TRAVIS: Also possible MATT: You skipped a shit ton of possible encounters there MICA: What? MATT: Well, yeah, because– TRAVIS: We’re not traveling by goat? MATT: You’re not traveling by goat MICA: Oh MATT: Which is great, you guys did all that Earned some more in Essek’s debt by doing so, but you managed to avoid a lot of possible dangers so well done TRAVIS: Damn it MARISHA: Did he say more Essek debt? MATT: That’s cool TRAVIS: What dangers? MATT: I’ll show you some of the maps afterwards, because I was damn proud of them ALL: Aww MATT: Oh, don’t apologize, this is my game, guys, that’s what I do TALIESIN: They come back MATT: It’s what I do Anyway Thank you guys so much for joining us, we’ll be back at the Mythburrow next Thursday to see where this leads them on this leg of their journey Don’t forget, we love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? Good night! [epic music]